


Holiday Chalet

by GinJuice



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Erotica, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:27:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 45,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28179831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinJuice/pseuds/GinJuice
Summary: A collection of romantic moments between Jacob and Renesmee which take place during the holidays at a winter chalet in Whistler B.C.
Relationships: Jacob Black/Renesmee Cullen
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**NESSIE**

His eyes burn into me with impassioned desire as his hands wander the contours of my trembling body. I shift restlessly beneath him, "Jacob," I whine, arching into him.

"You're so impatient," he growls in my ear. The hotness of his breath tickles my neck and causes me to quiver.

"I want you," I confess and gasp when his hand makes a beeline from my waist to my breast, pressing his large palm into my flesh. A moan escapes my lips.

"You want this?" he asks, darkly. His hand making the journey from my breast, gliding down my arm and taking my hand into his. He pulls my palm to his denim-clad groin.

I gasp… and that's when I wake up.

I lift my head, taking in my surroundings and then groan. The pillow makes a distinct ' _pufft'_ sound as my head falls back against it. I inhale deeply. It was just a dream. They're getting worse… or better. It depends on your perspective.

**December 31st, 2015**

I smell a fire burning in the fireplace downstairs. The chalet we rented in the ski resort in Whistler to celebrate the new year is big. Big enough for all the wolves and their imprints. It's gorgeous; completely comprised of logs with floor to ceiling windows. The main room is cozy with a big stone fireplace with lots of seating around it and a shag rug.

I stretch out on the kingsize bed that I will be sharing with Rachel and Claire and look at the window. It's dark. The moon is large in the sky, surrounded by a collection of stars. I pick up my phone and inhale a breath of relief. It's only 11:31 PM. I didn't miss it. I frown. Though, Jacob was supposed to wake me at 11:00 PM.

I roll out of bed and pull my hair up in a bun but then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Oh, god! I take my hair back down and manically comb my fingers through the curls, attempting to fix a day's worth of wool hats and snowboarding tumbles.

Jake spent his entire day trying to teach me tricks to stay upright. To be honest, I may have been a better student if I wasn't so mesmerized by his eyes… and his smile… and the way he would hold me from behind as he attempted to impart some wisdom of technique which was evidently lost on me… or maybe I rather liked all the attention and wasn't planning on learning the sport anyhow.

By the time we got back to the chalet, I was so exhausted that I decided to take a nap. I'm surprised that I could sleep. All day I have had one thing and only one thing on my mind. Midnight. That is when I plan to make my move. When New Year's Eve transitions to New Years Day, I will finally kiss Jacob.

I decided yesterday.

Early yesterday morning, while we were packing the SUV that we rented for the trip, he told me to hold still while he carefully lifted an eyelash from my cheek. I don't know if he knew what an intimate moment that was for me. When his thumb made contact with my face, I felt electricity. I hoped that he would kiss me right there in that moment. But he didn't.

It's always been like this between us. For the longest time, I pushed for more from him. For him to hold my hand or wrap an arm around me or allow me to sit on his lap. He never caved. I was always _too young_ for such affections from someone his age. This won't be the first time that I tried to kiss him.

I had misread a signal. I was… I guess, physically about 15… Anyways, Jacob and I got caught out in the rain on his motorbike. So he brought me back to his place. He was towelling off my hair playfully and then there was this moment. I don't know what it was. He just stopped and stared at me. I guess I thought it was more of a moment than it really was because when I leaned in to kiss him, he quickly dodged me.

I was mortified. Got out of there right away. I didn't speak to him for probably a week. My father, who immediately knew what had happened due to his telepathic gifts, was kind enough not to talk about it or reveal to my family what had happened.

But that was it. From that moment on I decided that I would keep my hands and lips to myself. And I have. I fully matured about two years ago and we have been nothing more than friends. Amazing friends.

Still… The entire 7hr drive to Whistler, I felt like my stomach was full to the brim with butterflies. Everything about being in that car with him made me giddy. The way his large hands gripped the steering wheel; appropriately at the 10 and 2 o'clock position. When we decided to stop for breakfast, he parked in reverse; the way he extended his arm behind my seat while he backed into the spot. Even how he complained about other drivers ' _just pass already or get off my ass' … 'pick a lane' … 'how'd this moron get a licence?'._

I want him so bad it hurts.

I do my best to make my hair presentable and then exit the bedroom. I can hear lots of chatter and laughter coming from downstairs. I guess the party has already started.

The chalet has four bedrooms upstairs and two downstairs. The owner nailed chalkboards on each door so that guests can keep track of who is where.

Last night when we were deciding who would sleep where an argument broke out. Due to the set-up of each room and the nature of relationships, it became clear that one couple would need to forfeit sleeping in the same bed together and one person would have to make due on the couch.

Quil volunteered to stay on the couch as it was obvious that 12-year-old Claire would not be rooming with him.

One of the rooms downstairs had two bunk beds which Seth, Embry, Brady and Collin volunteered to take.

Emily and Sam claimed a room for themselves, using their alpha status. Slick.

That left four rooms. Three with queen size beds. One with a king-size bed.

Claire and I would obviously room together but that would leave Jacob without a bed. So the couples competed in a high-stakes game of Rock, Paper Scissors to decide who would be bunking apart. Paul lost.

So Rachel is rooming with Claire and me in the king-size bed and Jacob is unfortunately stuck rooming with his brother-in-law, Paul.

Leah was really nervous that she would lose and not get to spend alone time with her new boyfriend, Roger. Yeah! Leah imprinted. It was wild. Roger Littlesea… Collin's older brother. Collin took it pretty hard. He's been pining after Leah since forever and then his big brother comes home last summer after four years at college and two years abroad and Leah falls head over heels. He thought she was adorable and the two have been inseparable. It kind of makes me a little bit jealous.

I wish I would have met Jacob as I am now. Years of rejection because of my age has made me reluctant to tell him how I feel. Though, I am plenty old enough now, he's the perfect gentleman. Never pushing for a romantic kind of relationship and I don't understand why. It seems like the other wolves would move heaven and earth to be with their loves. I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with me. Like there is something mysterious that the other imprints have that I don't. Something that makes them more loveable. Something that makes them worthy to be pursued.

I look over the main room from the loft and see the group sitting around the fire playing a card game loudly. They're all cracking up pretty hard. I observe a collection of red solo cups. I guess the part is in full effect. I come downstairs.

"Where's Jacob?" I ask but none of them seem to hear me, "has anyone seen Jake?" I ask again.

"Oh, he went out to get firewood," Leah says, shuffling through her cards, leaning back against Roger who is casually removing pieces of snowflake-shaped glitter from her hair that Seth had thrown at her earlier as a joke. Leah didn't find it funny and threw him off the balcony, into a snowbank.

I look to the door and see the front porch light is on. I slide on my boots and put on my coat. When I open the door and chill blows in and I hear all the ladies shout, "close the door!"

"Sorry!" I quickly make my way outside, closing the door. It's windy. A small snowdrift has formed against the chalet just from the wind pushing it around.

"Hi," Jacob says warmly with a big smile. I blush, remembering that salacious dream I just had of him only moments ago. He is sorting out piles of firewood on the porch in jeans and a hoodie. That's all he needs to protect himself from the elements thanks to his wolf's blood. He and all of the pack wolves run very high body temperatures.

"You were supposed to wake me up, Jakers," I smile back at the 6'7" tall man, calling him by the fun nickname I made up when I was a kid.

He pulls out his phone from his back pocket and shakes his head, "sorry, love. Lost track of time."

_Love_. I adore how he started calling me that… I wish I knew what it meant... If it means anything at all.

"It's fine. Didn't miss anything yet. Can I help?" I ask.

"I'm done here. If you can get the door, that'd be great," he says lifting a large pile up into his arms.

"Sure," I reply and hold the door open for him. Another chill blows into the chalet and all of the women begin to complain again.

"Sorry, ladies," Jake replies, hurrying to get the wood into the house. I close the door behind him once the piles are in the door and then help him deposit them in the large wood chests next to the fireplace. "That should be enough to get us through the night," Jacob dusts off his hands and then helps me take my coat off, "you look nice," Jacob says, complimenting my outfit.

"Oh. Um, thanks," I blush. I'm wearing a long-sleeved gold sequin crop top with high-waisted black pants. I feel overdressed. Everyone else is wearing jeans and sweaters. That's what I get for allowing Rose to help me figure out a New Year's Eve outfit.

"what'd I miss?" Jake asks the group as he hangs my coat up for me.

"Oh, you didn't miss much," Leah smirks, "I just wiped the floor with Embry," she chuckles.

"You cheated," he grumbles, collecting playing cards and putting them back in the box.

Leah sticks her tongue out at Embry and then looks at her phone, "we're getting close to midnight. Ness, come help me get the champagne and glasses."

"Sure," I reply and give Jacob a smile before leaving the room to help Leah in the kitchen.

"You've been quiet all day," Leah says, going into the fridge and lining bottles of sparkling wine up on the counter.

"Have I?" I ask, feeling like I am about to be interrogated, "Roger seems nice," I try to divert the subject.

"He's _very_ nice. But we're not talking about Roger. We're talking about _you…_ " she says, pointing to a box behind me.

I turn around and bring the box to the counter and start pulling out champagne flutes, "why are we talking about me?" I feel nervous.

"Nessie, come on. No one is _that_ bad at snowboarding," she grins, "particularly not someone with superhuman reflexes. You were kind of obvious."

"Obvious to Jacob?" I swallow.

"Ha. Of course not. He's oblivious. Nessie, boys are dumb," Leah replies matter-of-factly.

I smile at her.

So… are you going to do it?" she asks me as she expertly pops a bottle, catching the cork in her hand.

"Aren't we supposed to wait till midnight?" I ask as she starts opening bottles.

"No way am I letting twelves corks fly around this place. The damages will cost a fortune. Stop trying to distract me. Are you going to do it?" Leah asks, corking more bottles.

"Do what?" I sigh as though I don't know what she is talking about.

"Kiss him at midnight," she rolls her eyes.

"Maybe," I can't help but smile.

"Good," she says as though she knows something I don't.

"Good? What does that mean?" I ask but she just smiles at me and starts pouring glasses, "Leah … Come on. What does that mean?"

"Everyone get their glass!" Leah shouts, ignoring my inquiries. The kitchen begins to fill up as everyone claims a glass and I lose my opportunity to get to the bottom of what Leah meant by that.

"Even me?" Claire asks. The young imprint is only 12.

"Oh, hun," I say wrapping my arm around her, "I've got a special New Year's Eve drink for you," I take her aside, grabbing a bottle of the champaign and two glasses, "go get the orange juice from the fridge."

"Okay," Claire says, grabbing the carton of orange juice from the fridge and comes back to me.

"Ever have a mimosa?" I ask her.

"Nope," she perches on a stool where I am bartending.

"It's really easy to make, you just add a splash of the bubbles," I explain putting a smidge of champagne in the glass, "and then you add some OJ," I follow up, filling the glass to the brim with juice, "and voila. A cocktail."

"Oh," she looks disappointed. I am clearly not fooling the 12-year-old.

I look up to see Jacob smiling at me from across the kitchen. I give him a little shrug and look back to Claire. He quickly makes his way over.

"Oh thank god, I thought I'd have to drink Champagne," he says, making a face, "what are you making?" he asks, sounding really interested.

"It's called a mimosa," Claire says.

"I'm having one too," I reply, "do you want one?" I ask him.

"I'd love one," he replies and leans his arms forward on the counter.

Claire seems satisfied that she is not the only one having the less alcoholic drink and takes her glass over to Quil when he summons her to the T.V to watch the firework shows around the world.

"How much champagne do you want, Jakers?" I ask, tilting the bottle.

"Half the glass if fine, love," he says, watching me make the drink, "any new year's resolutions?"

_Make you mine._

"I dunno," I reply, feeling my stomach flip at the thought of my true wish, "the usual, get in shape, learn a different language?" I offer.

"Get in shape?" he laughs, "you're already perfect," he says as though I have suggested the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"Okay," I mutter sarcastically but feel light knowing that he thinks that, "and you?" I ask, handing him his glass and then start on making mine.

"You already know," he replies, looking into my eyes for recognition. My throat suddenly feels dry.

"I do?" I ask nervously. I swallow. Butterflies just pounding against the walls of my stomach.

"The shop?" he raises his brows.

"Oh, of course," I nod my head, "the shop."

Jacob and Billy are opening a garage. Part of the business will be fixing vehicles locally and the other part of the business is salvaging old motorbikes and selling them for a profit. Jacob has the mechanical skill. Billy is going to be taking care of the business side. Billy has already purchased several bikes for next to nothing that Jake thinks he can make a few thousand dollars on. I love listening to him talk about his plans for the business. The way he gets excited about it is cute.

I hold up my glass, "to your shop," I smile.

He smiles back, lightly clinking his glass to mine, "to your unnecessary workout regime and learning German or whatever," he smirks and sips with me, "shall we?" he offers an arm and nods to the living room where everyone has gathered. I can hear that they're already starting to count down from 20.

20, 19, 18, 17, 16

I take his arm and walk with him to the living room. My heart is pounding in my chest and I feel hot and tingly. I am so nervous. I am so nervous to do this. But even more nervous that I'll chicken out. I take a sip of my drink hoping that the little bit of champagne in the mimosa will give me courage.

15, 14, 13, 12, 11

My heart is pounding even harder. My palms are sweaty... _Mom's spaghetti._ No, Nessie! Now is not the time for Eminem jokes.

10, 9, 8

I feel self-conscious. Like everyone is aware of me. That is dumb. I glance around the room. No one is paying attention to me at all. They're all getting ready to kiss their mate and the single guys are getting ready to do shots. I am the least interesting person in the room. He's so tall. I can't do this. I'll never reach him. Oh well… maybe next year.

7, 6, 5

Jacob sits down on the arm of the couch. Crap. Height is no longer an obstacle. I am suddenly very aware of the texture of my lips. Are they too dry? Should I have moisturized them? I should have had a mint earlier… I look to Jacob and he smiles warmly back at me. Here goes everything…

4, 3, 2, 1

The room erupts with shouting and cheering and wishes of a happy new year. The couples all kiss. The single boys do shots. Before I lose my nerve I lean in to kiss Jacob.

And then…

Jake's hands quickly grab onto my upper arms, stopping me; holding me away from him. His glass drops and shatters on the floor. The room goes silent and I feel a dozen sets of eyes on me. The second time I tried to kiss him. The second time he's dodged my kiss. Everyone is staring now. My face and my whole body is hot and numb. My heart is pounding in my ears.

Jake's face looks stunned.

I glance around at all the eyes on me. Looking at me like I'm an idiot.

I can't. I quickly pull away and run up the stairs.

"Renesmee!" Jacob calls after me.

"Go after her, idiot!" I hear Leah scold.

I slam the bedroom door shut. I inhale a long shaky breath and lean my back against the door, relieved to be no longer in view of any living soul.

I slide down to the floor. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. I'm mortified. Did that _really_ just happen? I'm so stupid. So, so, so stupid. Hot tears sting my eyes. I shouldn't have tried to kiss him again. I feel so stupid. It's just like last time but even worse. Everyone saw. I don't know why I do this to myself. I was right before. There is something different about me. Something _is_ wrong with me. He doesn't want me. Not like how Paul wants Rachel or Sam wants Emily or Leah wants Roger.

I startle when I hear a soft knocking on the door behind me.

"Nessie?" Jacob whispers, "can we talk?"

"I'm going to bed now. Goodnight," I reply, trying not to let my voice give away how upset I am.

"Please?" he whispers.

"Goodnight, Jacob," I get up from the floor, throw myself onto the bed and pull a pillow over my head.

What an awful start to the new year.


	2. Chapter 2

**JACOB**

I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I did that.

"You are such an idiot! I can't believe you did that!" Leah shouts at me.

"I know," I sigh, sitting outside on the balcony with Leah. It is freezing but we're both comfortable in the cold. I needed to be alone. So naturally, Leah came out to give me a piece of her mind. "I didn't mean to. It was a stupid fucking reflex," I rub my face.

"After all this time. After all of the whining and moaning about how she'll never be yours, this is how your stupid ass behaves when the girl you think about every goddamn second of the day tries to kiss you at midnight on New Year's Eve. Pathetic!" Leah growls.

"Okay. Thanks… I feel bad enough," I scowl at my beta.

"Sorry," Leah sighs, her face softening, "it's just… we all feel your pain, Jake. I was just hoping that it'd be over."

I inhale. I know. I always try to be my best self for Nessie. The friend she needs but sometimes it kills me because all I truly want is to wrap my arms around her and kiss her so deeply. I was always able to keep my distance and be that friend but then something happened. That day when we were riding my bike and the rain came out of nowhere. I remember everything so vividly. The way her hair was matted to her face and she couldn't stop laughing and her shirt was wet and clinging to her body. I noticed her. I saw her. It was like I saw her for the first time. It felt different. I felt different. I wanted her. I _lusted_ for her. I lusted for her and it scared me. So when she tried to kiss me I panicked.

I went after her when she ran away from me but she was too fast. And that week afterwards when she ignored me, it was torture. The entire pack groaned every time we went on patrol. They were so sick of my melancholy.

Edward told me to give her time. He understood that I would never do anything that she did not truly desire. He even sympathized with me. Bella was not much older than Nessie when he fell for her. The age difference was arguably larger. He made it clear that this wasn't him giving his blessing. He wasn't going to meddle. Which also meant ' _I'm not telling you what she's thinking hahahahaha'._

She did come around and eventually talked to me again. I didn't bring up the kiss. I let it go. But I decided from that moment that any affections she offered I would reciprocate.

However, something had changed. She no longer attempted to hold my hand or sit on my lap and never tried to kiss me again. It was like she changed her mind about me. I was crushed but I decided that I would be exactly what she needed me to be.

I never allow her to know how uncontent I am with our platonic relationship or how I daydream about her all the time. How she infiltrates my dreams with sexual fantasies. And how I often wake up in need of a cold shower. I hold it all in.

But it didn't stop me from giving myself false hope or feeling my body fill with warmth for every smile she offered me.

Yesterday was a different type of torture. While packing up the SUV I lifted an eyelash from her cheek and my eyes took a moment to study her beauty. Those brown eyes with green flecks, rosy cheeks… pink lips. Lips that I want to kiss with my lips. And then I thought about all of the other things I wanted to do to her with my lips. That _really_ did it for me; being in that SUV for 7hrs was torture. I had to concentrate so hard on the road. I gripped the wheel intensely and found every other driver around me irritating. And then today when I was trying to teach her snowboarding, I dragged out the lesson so I could hold her body against mine for as long as possible. Ugh, I _am_ pathetic.

Then this happens. She tried to kiss me and a fucking reflex from years of trying not to push her took over. Everyone looked at me like I was an idiot. I _am_ an idiot.

The worst part is that I don't even know what any of this means. Does she feel the same way about me? Was she drunk? Was it just an innocent New Year's kiss with no motives behind it? Is she embarrassed because she thinks I rejected her? Or is she embarrassed that she even _wanted_ to kiss me in the first place? I just don't know.

"You need to talk to her, Jake," Leah says.

"I tried to. She doesn't want to talk to me right now," I reply.

"Tell her how you feel!" Leah yells at me.

I exhale. My breath hangs in the winter air, "she _knows_ how I feel. I've imprinted on her. She knows what that means!"

Leah shrugs and looks back to the chalet, "look, Jake, I'm sorry you're having a bad night but it's past midnight. I'm going to bed to celebrate the new year with Roger," she says going back to the door, "don't be an idiot about this. Just go to her," Leah says going inside.

I roll my eyes. Like she even understands. She found her imprint when they were both age-appropriate and available.

I stay out on the balcony for an hour more until all of the lights in the chalet turn off. I come back inside, closing the large glass doors behind me and wander to the edge of the loft. I lean on the railing overlooking the living room. The only luminescence in the chalet is the incandescent glow from the fireplace below in the room with large windows revealing the beautiful night sky. I see that young Claire has fallen asleep on the couch near the fireplace. I guess Quil did not want to disturb her so he covered her in a heavy blanket and he is sleeping on the floor.

I'm so exhausted from everything so I go into the room with the chalkboard that says Jake & Paul. I don't even bother getting undressed for bed. I just lay down and close my eyes, hoping that I will sleep without much effort. Then I hear a noise. Like smacking.

"Paul, are you eating in bed?" I ask and turn on the lamp next to my side of the bed to see that Rachel had snuck out of the room she was supposed to be sharing with Nessie and Claire; she is snuggled in with Paul and they're making out. "Come on, man!" I grumble, "Rach, go back to your room!"

"No!" she whines, "it's too cold in there. I need my big cozy wolfie to keep me toasty," she slurs. Yeah. She's drunk.

"Unbelievable," I growl, getting out of the bed. I hear Paul murmur something about showing her what a big _wolfie_ he is. Rachel giggles. Disgusting. I slam the door.

So much for having a bed to sleep in. I sigh and lean on the rail of the loft again, looking down. It occurs to me that if Claire is downstairs and Rachel is in Paul's room that means that Nessie is by herself. I exhale and notice that I can see my breath so I go downstairs to check on the thermostat for the 2nd floor. Quil startles awake when a step creaks.

"Sorry, it's just me," I sigh and look at the dial, "why is this turned all the way down?"

"Oh," Quil yawns, "the girls and Roger said it was too hot upstairs because of their mate's body heat. Claire fell asleep down here and Rachel said that since you were going to spend all night moping on the balcony she was going to sleep in Paul's bed," he says quietly so as to not disturb Claire.

"So y'all are just gonna let Renesmee freeze then?" I growl.

"She said she didn't care," he shrugs.

I roll my eyes. Of course, she did. I walk through the living room and to the other side of the kitchen where the bunk beds are. I open the door. All four of the guys, Embry, Seth, Collin and Brady are sleeping without their blankets on.

"Wake up!" I shout at them and one by one yank their blankets away from them. Brady spins and falls out.

"Fuck you!" he grumbles but is too drunk to start anything so he just gets back into bed.

I pile the blankets over my arm and go back upstairs but once I get to her door I feel like I have lost my nerve.

I knock softly, "Ness?"

No reply. I try the knob. It's unlocked. I push the door open and wait for my eyes to adjust to the dark before going in. She's asleep. I stop for a moment just to look at her. If only she were mine I could just crawl into bed with her and keep her warm in my arms. I am careful not to disturb her as I place blanket after blanket on top of her. I hope that this is enough to keep my love warm. I gently sweep aside her pretty copper hair and then look at her for one last moment before I leave the room.

I got down to the basement where I had spotted an old couch that the owners of the chalet must be fixing to throw out. I spend the night sleeping there.

In the morning when I wake, Nessie is gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**NESSIE**

**December 24th, 2016**

"Rick, that's too heavy. Just let Jacob handle it," I watch with worry from the balcony above as my boyfriend attempts to pull down one of the large heavy luggages from the roof racks of an SUV. Rachel is too pregnant now to do it herself.

"It's fine, I'll do it," Jacob says, nudging Rick out of the way and pulls down the luggage effortlessly.

"Thanks, Jakers!" I smile, looking over the rail.

He smiles back up at me.

"So that's _Dr. Rick_ ," Leah smirks, bumping her hip against mine, "he's cute."

I laugh, "don't say it like that. You make him sound like a fake T.V. doctor."

"Oh, sorry… So that's _Dr. Patrick Murillo MD..._ Better?" she chuckles, "I can't believe Jacob tolerates that guy."

"Tolerates him? What are you talking about? They're friends," I roll my eyes, "if Jacob has a problem with Rick, why would he invite him here?" I cross my arms.

Leah snorts, "because I doubt you'd be here if Jake excluded him. They're not friends, babe. You and Jacob are _friends_. Dr. Rick is an obstacle," Leah grins.

"An obstacle? Jacob and I are not a thing and we're not going to be a thing, Leah. I embarrassed myself last year making that assumption. Not _all_ imprints are going to end up romantically involved."

Though I appear to be the only one. Maybe when the imprint is much younger it just doesn't work out like that. Time will tell with Quil and Clair. Neither of whom are here this year. Because the trip was extended from Christmas Eve until New Year's Day Claire's parents decided they wanted her home. So Quil also stayed to celebrate the holidays with her. Kim and Jared had a baby in November so they decided to stay home as well. At Least there won't be any arguing over bedrooms this year.

"Whatever you say," Leah smirks as though she knows something I don't.

I cannot believe all of that happened a year ago. Things have changed _so_ much.

After that _huge_ fail when I tried to kiss Jacob, I _had_ to get out of there. So I called my dad that night and asked if he could arrange a plane ticket out of here. I got up early in the morning before anyone was up and left.

I woke Quil on the way out and asked him to tell the others that I was okay but I wasn't feeling well so I was going home. He played along. Telling me to _feel better soon_.

My dad got me a plane ticket to Seattle but the closest airport to Whistler is Vancouver International Airport. So I called a taxi to take me to the nearest car rental and drove the two hours to Vancouver. The entire way there I tortured myself, reliving the night before over and over again.

I made it to the airport with only 45 minutes to spare. Fortunately New Year's Day is not much of a travel day so I got through security and boarded the plane right away.

The plane was pretty empty. I had an entire row to myself. This guy kept looking at me from a few rows over. Eventually he came over and sat down beside me. He was handsome and well dressed. I liked how he smelled. Whatever cologne he had on was pleasant. He said that I looked sad and he wanted to see if I was okay.

I didn't really want to get into it so I tried to keep the conversation about him. He was a doctor. Originally from Wisconsin. Had traveled to B.C. to visit family before he started a new job in Washington. We exchanged numbers but I didn't really expect to see or talk to him again.

When I arrived home I spent weeks locked up in my room, refusing to see Jacob. I couldn't. I felt like such an idiot. Leah came by often and tried to convince me to listen to him but I didn't want to hear it.

Eventually Jacob stopped trying to see me but my melancholy did not improve.

Both mom and dad were worried. Because Jacob was basically my whole social life, they thought that a job would do me good. Carlisle said that he would love to have me as an assistant. So I started working with him at the hospital. My job was boring. I mainly brought his nurses and support staff coffee and bagels and helped make sure that patients were comfortable.

And as fate should have it, Rick's new job in Washington was at Fork's hospital.

My parents are literally the _only_ parents in the world who are disappointed that their daughter is dating a doctor.

I got the whole ' _he's mortal'_ speech to which I rebutted cleverly. I said that if things worked out between us we could always just _change_ him. Make him a vampire. Right, mom? Haha, she _hated_ that. My dad thought it was pretty amusing until my mom gave him the death glare.

Then in April, while getting ready to leave for the night, I noticed Jacob in the hospital waiting room…

_I was just on my way to do my last coffee run for the shift change of nurses. As I round the corner I am startled to see Jacob sitting in the waiting room. He doesn't notice me. He is staring down at the floor. His face looks sullen and weary._

_Oh, no…_

" _Jacob, what's wrong? What happened?" I ask, going to him._

_He quickly looks up from the floor and does a double take, "Nes-," he exhales with relief, "Nessie," he gets up and hugs me tightly. I am caught off guard but hug him back hoping that nothing horrible had happened._

" _Is everything okay?" I ask as he holds me tightly. I push my hands against his hard biceps so that I can look at his face. He doesn't want to let me go so it takes some force on my part to separate us._

" _Oh," he exhales, letting me go. He shakes his head, "it's dad… he's got some kind of infection that he's been keeping secret from us. It's gotten pretty bad."_

" _Oh no," I reply._

" _Wait… what are you doing here? Are you okay?" he asks, his face becoming concerned. He reaches up to touch my cheek but then stops himself and lets his hand fall to his side._

" _I'm fine," I reply, "I work here-"_

" _Renesmee, there you are," Rick says, startling me. He walks over to where we are and kisses my cheek. He's no longer wearing his doctor's coat but has yet to change out of his scrubs. He looks at Jacob and then back to me, "everything okay?"_

_Jacob's eyes look between us. There is an edge to his expression and his jaw is more defined as though he is clenching his teeth together. I never considered Rick short. He's taller than me and most guys at over 6' tall. Though, next to Jacob Black, anyone can look small._

" _Oh, um. My friend's dad has some kind of infection. Is there a way to find out anything?" I ask him._

" _Oh. Mr. Black?" Rick asks, "he's fine. It looked worse than it was. I put him on some antibiotics. He's okay to go home but if you want, we can keep him overnight to monitor him just to be safe."_

" _Can you?" I ask hopefully and clasp my hands together tightly, "that would be really great," I reply before Jacob can answer._

" _Nessie, we really can't afford-," Jacob starts but Rick cuts him off._

" _Nessie? LIke the monster?" he chuckles, "That's a fun nickname for Renesmee. But don't worry about the cost, anything for a friend of Renesmee's"_

_Jacob's eyes narrow in on Rick, "I didn't catch your name," he says, extending his hand._

" _Rick," he replies, shaking Jacob's hand. Rick's brows knit together and he pulls his hand away, opening and closing his fist, "quite the handshake you got there…"_

" _Jacob," Jake replies, "and you're a nurse here?" he asks, looking at his scrubs._

" _Doctor," Rick replies, "I'm gonna go make sure they know that we're keeping Mr. Black overnight," Rick says and then looks at me, "then I just need to change and we can go on our date," he smiles and pecks my lips before heading towards reception._

" _Oh… so… you and uh Rick, huh?" Jacob asks once Rick is gone, shuffling his feet awkwardly._

" _Me and Rick," I confirm._

" _You like him?"_

" _I do," I reply._

" _And he's good to you?" he asks._

_I nod, "yes."_

" _Great. That's fantastic," Jacob smiles warmly at me._

_Fucking butterflies. Go away!_

After that I started seeing Jacob more. We eventually settled into a routine.

He would drop by the hospital for lunch a couple times a week. We started texting again. Monday and Thursdays Rick would have night shifts. Monday nights Jacob would come over for movies. On Thursday I'd go to his place. Rachel, Paul, Leah and Roger would usually be there and we'd have beers and play board games.

Jacob opened his shop with Billy and things were going really well. He sold a few bikes that he fixed up and was getting really excited. Is already talking about expanding the business.

Everything was great because I had my best friend back and it wasn't awkward because I had Rick. Though, I couldn't help but feel guilty. Guilty because I still have feelings for Jacob. Guilty because I still have _those_ dreams too.

After a day of snowmobile riding and skating we're all pretty exhausted so we settle back in at the chalet. Rachel, being too pregnant to participate, stayed behind so by the time we got back she had prepared hot chocolate for everyone in a big pot, lightly simmering on the stove.

"Oh my god. What's in this, Rach?" I melt, tasting the heavenly brew, "it's amazing," I tell her, sitting next to Rick as everyone settles in around the fireplace in the living room.

"Don't tell her," Jacob says playfully, "that's a Black family secret only passed down through blood or marriage."

"That's a sneaky way to propose, Jake," Leah teases.

Rick shifts in his seat, uncomfortably and looks at me with a dry _I-told-you-so_ gaze which I brush off. Rick has this theory that Jacob is secretly in love with me. I explained to him that we're just really good friends. Besides, if anything, it is I who is secretly in love with Jacob… I mean who _was…_ I who _was_ secretly in love… not anymore… because I'm with uh.. Um… Rick.

"Leah, stop playing match-maker and drink your hot chocolate," I reply quickly, feeling my cheeks become hot at the suggestion of marrying Jacob Black. To distract myself, I look over to Embry, Brady and Collin who are arranging some kind of game for us to play, "are we almost ready?" I ask them, steering the conversation into a different direction.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah… calm your tits," Collin mutters.

Jake frowns and smacks the back of Collin's head, "jackass," he mutters.

"Hey!" Collin rubs the back of his head.

The doorbell rings. Seth quickly scrambles to his feet and hurries over. We all crane our necks to watch the interaction, apart from Rick who doesn't understand. Seth imprinted on Winona about a month ago. She already knew all about the wolf packs. Her grandfather is one of the highest ranking elders in the community so naturally she was brought up with the knowledge. Seth likes to call her his princess because of her family's status among the tribe. She _hates_ that, The nickname does not suit her at all. She's very outdoorsy and loves dirt biking.

Because their relationship is so new, Winona is staying at one of the hotel rooms at the ski lodge.

"Hi Winnie!" Leah waves. It's pretty obvious that Leah slipped something in her hot chocolate as she is already pretty tipsy. Roger smiles and shakes his head at his girlfriend's enthusiasm.

"I hope I'm not too late," Winona says as Seth takes her jacket, "I needed to shower after all of skating and it took _forever_ to dry my hair with the damn hotel hair dryer," she says joining us. Seth sits down next to her.

"Okay, okay, okay!" Embry says holding up a big wooden bowl, "this is a drinking game!"

"Well, I'm out," Rachel smiles, rubbing her tummy.

"Same," Paul smiles and kisses Rachel's cheek. He's not drinking during her entire pregnancy in solidarity.

"How does it work?" Emily asks, leaning back against Sam as she snacks on kettle corn.

"In this bowl there are intimate, perhaps even _embarrassing_ questions. You can choose to answer _or_ you can drink," Embry explains with a smirk as Brady and Collin hand out red solo cups with rum in the bottom.

"Oh god," I mutter.

Jacob sits on the floor near my feet, unwrapping a candy cane. He reaches up and drops the candy cane into my hot chocolate for me, "trust me," Jake says and waits for me to try it. The mintiness adds to the flavour of the hot chocolate. It's even better than.

"Mmm, Thanks, Jakers," I smile. When I turn back to accept the cup of rum from Collin, I can see Rick has an expression on his face, his lips are tightly pressed together.

"And I think our guest of honour should go first," Embry smirks.

We all look around at each other.

"Who's our guest of honour?" Jacob finally asks.

"Winnie, of course," Embry chuckles.

Oh, I see. This is a game meant to mess with Seth.

"Um. Okay. Sure," Winona says, being a good sport. Embry passes her the bowl. She digs inside and pulls out a folded paper, "oh my goodness," she whispers looking down at the paper with wide eyes, blood rushing to her cheeks.

Seth glances down at the paper, "you don't have to answer that," he says and glares up at Embry, Collin and Brady.

"No, you're right. She doesn't. But she _will_ have to drink," Collin chuckles.

"Pick another one," Seth says..

"Those aren't the rules," Brady says.

"She _gets_ to pick another one," Seth says forcefully between clenched teeth.

"Geez, fine … you get to pick another one … _once_ ," Embry says, making up the new rule.

Winnie folds the paper back up and picks out another one, "... really?" she frowns, showing Seth.

"No. We're done. We're not playing this game," Seth scowls at the guys.

"Okay, let me see!" I reach my hand out for the bowl.

Winnie hands it to Jacob who puts it in my lap. I rummage through the little slips of paper and pull one out. It reads, _Do you (or does she) spit or swallow._ I snort and then open another one, _Name someone in the room that you are not currently with or have been with in the past that you would have sex with._

"You don't have to answer these, either," Rick says with an exhausted sigh. I'm starting to think that maybe bringing him along was a mistake. Obviously the maturity level of some of the guys is not up to snuff with Dr. Rick… I mean Rick… Augh, Leah's gotten into my head.

Emily gets up from her seat and leans over my shoulder, reading the slips of paper, "Ew! Guys! Which one of your nasty little perverts came up with these?"

Jacob looks up at me with curiosity and holds his hand out for the papers I had just plucked from the bowl. I shake my head and put them in his palm. His eyes scan over them and he laughs, "someone's going outside to do some laps," he glances up at Embry and puts the papers into Sam's palm.

Embry groans.

"Good call," Sam agrees, looking at dirty questions and then glances to Collin and Brady, "get going."

"Are they like their coaches or something?" Rick whispers to me, not understanding why Sam and Jake would send the guys out to do laps as a punishment.

"Kind of," I reply.

"Oh, come on. Don't be such little sissies," Leah slurs a little bit and grabs the bowl from my lap, digging in. She plucks out a paper and starts to ready it out loud, " _describe your worst sexual experience and why…_ " Leah rolls her eyes. But then she lights up with recognition and she points at Sam, laughing. She starts to say something but it's incoherent because she is laughing too hard.

Sam looks at her strangely but then his eyes go wide, "NO! Nononononono!" he shouts, leaping over the coffee table to cover her mouth which just makes her laugh even harder.

Emily and Roger look equally amused.

I giggle watching the interaction.

I look down to where Jacob is sitting and notice that he is looking at me. His expression is almost painful. I don't understand. He quickly smiles at me and then gets up, leaving the room.

I watch him go. Is something wrong?


	4. Chapter 4

**JACOB**

"Look at that," Seth says leaning over the balcony, "it's like _hot girl soup_ ," he jokes.

I glance over the rail at the ladies in the hot tub. My eyes zero in on Nessie. She is in the middle of securing her copper curls in a large and rather messy bun atop her head. Leah and Winnie help her tuck a few stray curls into the updo.

"5 more minutes, babe!" Paul shouts down at the girls. Because Rachel is pregnant she isn't supposed to soak in the hot tub for very long.

They all look up and notice the row of guys staring at them over the balcony.

Nessie smiles and waves. I am about to wave back but then I notice it is actually Rick that she is waving to, not me. I clench my jaw. I _hate_ that guy. I turn away from the _hot girl soup_ as Seth so coined it and lean against the rail, sipping my beer.

This past year has been something else. The morning after Nessie had tried to kiss me and I fucked it all up, I had made her breakfast. Blueberry waffles. But when I opened the door to her room she was gone. The extra blankets I had put on her the night before were neatly folded at the end of the bed. Panic set in. I was freaking out. Then Quil told me that he thought he remembered her telling him that she was unwell and going home.

I called Bella. She just said that Nessie had asked for a plane and she was already on a plane to Seattle. I was so relieved to know she was safe.

I drove right home. I tried to see her every day but she refused. I then lessened the frequency hoping that giving her space would help. It didn't.

So I focused everything on work; on my business with dad. I wanted to get my life together. Make something of myself that she would be proud of and dedicate it all to her.

Then I found out that she was with this Rick guy. I cried. I'll admit it. I put on a happy face for her. Told her that I was happy for her. But I went home and cried like a baby. I was furious at myself. Things could have been so different if I didn't fuck up that kiss.

I've worked so hard to get us back this year. I show up at her work to bring her lunch as much as I can. I figured out when the boyfriend is working at night so that we can do a movie night once a week. Game night at my place happened organically. Rachel and Paul don't have work the next day and Leah and Roger are very competitive so they're always in.

I try my best to be that amazing friend that she has always known but it is so much harder now that she is with him.

When I asked her to join us at the chalet for Christmas and New Year's she told me that she would really like to but she wanted to spend Christmas with her boyfriend. I couldn't stand the thought of whatever romantic holiday plans he could potentially cook up while I was gone so I said that of course Rick was invited too. Huge mistake.

Miserable. Absolutely miserable is how I've felt since we got here. Watching her kiss him and hold his hand. Awful. Seeing her wrap her arms around him tightly as they sped around on a snowmobile. Horrible. How she skated circles around him playfully. Dreadful. And I know that tonight, when they disappear into their bedroom together, I am going to be heartbroken.

Despite all of the torture, every time she is near I feel light and happy and all I want is for her to be happy. So if happiness for her is _him_. So be it.

"Hot tub wasn't there last year," I reply casually, sipping my beer as I lean my back against the rail so I don't have to watch the girl I desire the most, almost completely naked in a hot tub.

"It might have been covered in snow. There was a lot more snow last year," Seth replies, leaning his face in his palm, watching Winnie like a lovesick pup.

"You guys aren't cold?" Rick asks, he's in a full winter coat, gloves, hat, the whole thing. His coat is one of those stupid-expensive Canada Goose jackets. He got one for Nessie as well so they match. I _hate_ that.

"Wolf's blood," Sam replies with a grin as though it is an inside joke. Because it is.

"You know that alcohol doesn't really protect you from the elements," Dr. Rick explains, assuming we're all too drunk to feel the bite of winter. "Yes, the volume of blood brought to the skin's surface does increase, making you feel warm, but you can still freeze. You all should really be wearing coats," he says.

We all stare at him.

"The spirits of my dead warrior ancestors keep me warm," I reply, stone-faced, totally messing with the guy. I glance around at the guys who are smirking. I give them all the same expression and they catch on, mirroring my stove-face and cross their arms.

Rick clears his throat, "just my medical opinion..."

"Oh, I see. Does the white man's medicine question my dead warrior ancestors?" It's silent for probably a good 15 seconds. Paul is the first one to break and then we all start laughing. Rick looks intimidated, "relax man," I say, resting an arm around his shoulders, "I'm just messing with you," I sip my beer. "You've gotta be able to take a joke if you're going to date my Nessie."

He sighs, removing my arm from his shoulders, "okay, well… she's not _your Nessie_ ," he replies.

The guys all hiss in a breath. I hear Sam mutter _uh-oh._

I feel my temper flare listening to this schmuck define my goddamn relationship with my own fucking imprint, "you got a problem with me?" I ask him, exhaling.

"Ah... Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt," he replies smugly.

"What the fuck is that?" I ask.

"It's Latin. It means _men generally believe what they want to_. I don't have a problem with you, Jacob Black, because you aren't a problem. An annoyance, maybe. But not a problem. Guys like you rarely are..."

My blood is absolutely boiling now and my hands shake.

"Jacob," Sam says sternly. I take in a deep breath, heeding Sam's warning. I cannot let this prick get to me. Phasing would be bad.

"Guys like me?" I reply, concentrating on not breaking the beer bottle in my hand.

"The ones that believe their own hype. I've been watching you all night and it's pretty obvious. I know you've got a boner for Renesmee. Slipping candy canes into her hot cocoa and the cutsie fucking nicknames you call her."

I swallow. It is taking so much energy to not hit this guy right now.

"You must think she's really _easy_ to fall for that rubbish," he continues.

I can't take it anymore. Him accusing me of thinking Nessie is _easy_ pushes me over the edge and I drop the beer bottle. It plunks into the snow, not breaking. I grab Rick by the collar of his stupid expensive coat and push him up against the rail of the balcony, violently, "you don't know what you're fucking talking about!" I snarl.

The guys immediately try to pull me off of him, saying _woah, woah_ and _hey, hey, hey_ and telling me how it's not worth it.

"Get off me!" Rick struggles to pull my shaking fists off of his collar.

"Jacob!" I hear Nessie shout from below, "Jacob! Stop! What are you doing?!" she is suddenly behind me on the balcony now, likely having used her extraordinary speed.

I growl. I'm out of control. I want to toss this asshole off the balcony but his weak neck would probably snap like a twig. I release my fists finally and step back from him. Puffs of steam generated from my angry breaths float up between us in the winter air.

"What happened?" Nessie asks, shivering as she stands between us, soaking wet, only wearing a bikini.

I shake my head looking at Rick who cocks his brow, daring me to tell her what led to this; my obvious infatuation with her. A woman who is not mine but who I desperately want to be mine. I open my mouth but before I can say anything I hear shouting from below.

"Hey guys! Can you put a pin in the pissing match and help us!" Emily shouts up, "Rach fell!"

I quickly move to the rail and look over as Leah and Winnie gingerly hold my pregnant sister up.

Fuck!" Paul leaps right over the rail and down to the ground below, effortlessly.

"Oh shit!" Rick says in response to Paul's leap.

I glare at Rick. The darkness in my expression causes him to step back. I too leap over the rail as well, landing without a qualm.

"What happened?" I ask Rachel. Paul moves Winnie aside so he can get his neck under her arm and lifts Rachel up.

"It's fine. I just twisted my ankle," she says, shivering, "what's happened up there?" she asks about the quarrel between Rick and me.

"Nevermind. It's nothing. Here, Paul," I say taking Rachel from him, "I'll bring her inside, go to your room and get her something warm to wear."

"Yeah, okay," he says and hurries inside. I follow him into the chalet and take my sister to the living room, "you're such a klutz." I mutter.

"Shut up," she mumbles.

I set her down on the couch, near the fire, where the girls have put down some towels. Paul returns with a big fluffy pink robe and helps her get all wrapped up.

I glance over to the stairs when I see Rick descending them with Nessie. Nessie has put on a short, white terrycloth robe. Both look tense. Halfway down he stops and turns to face Nessie, they appear to be discussing something intensely. Perhaps arguing. They're speaking too low for me to hear anything until he looks at her and sternly says, "I don't want to hear another word about it."

The tone that he dares uses with her makes me want to snap every one of his fingers.

"Fine," she replies grimly and shuffles by him, "are you okay, Rach?" she asks.

"I'm okay," Rachel replies, "it's just my ankle," she says as Emily, Leah and Winnie crowd around her, wrapped in towels. Everyone has now crowded into the living room to make sure that she's okay.

"Rick, will you please look at it?" Nessie asks, turning to Rick who is still on the stairs.

"Of course," he replies and walks down the rest of the way. We make eye contact, "excuse me," he says, kneeling down on the floor to look at Rachel's ankle.

I move out of his way and go to stand by Nessie. She is watching Rick examine Rachel's ankle intensely. Her hands clasped together. My eyes scan her worried face. Fuck, I wish she were mine. It sucks that everyone here is with the person they want to be with except me. She must have felt me staring at her because her eyes dart to meet mine. But unlike all of the other times, I am not met with a warm smile. Her face looks pained and she quickly looks away.

_What's the matter, my love?_

"Well it's definitely not broken," Rick says rotating Rachel's ankle around, "just a mild sprain. Ice it and then keep off of it for a few days. You'll be fine," he says, "Tylonal is okay for pain. I have a compression ban in my luggage that you can have," he says standing back up and looks to Nessie, "alright, Renesmee, shall we go pack our things?"

"What?" I look to Nessie. Are they going home? Fuck. This is my fault. I shouldn't have let Rick get to me.

"You're leaving?" Rachel asks, looking up at Nessie with a sad face.

"Um... we're going to go stay at the lodge in a hotel room instead," Nessie replies meekly, "it's just.. it may be a little too crowded here," she says obviously trying to think of an excuse other than _my boyfriend is a wank._ "We'll still be around for skiing and other activities."

"That sucks, who am I supposed to drink with?" Leah asks

"You have plenty of drinking buddies here, Leah" Nessie chuckles, "don't let her drink anymore," Nessie says to Roger. He nods. Leah has been tipsy all day.

"Well at least open your Christmas gift from me before you go," Rachel says, "Paul, can you find Nessie's stocking under the tree. It's the fluffy one with the dancing elves on it."

_Oh fuck... no, no, no. They'll for sure be going home when she opens my gift._

"I thought we were doing gifts tomorrow," I say between clenched teeth to Rach. I suddenly feel very warm.

"You _know_ that the boys will be up at the crack of dawn to open gifts. I don't want Nessie and Rick to have to get up that early and drive all the way here in the dark," Rachel says.

Paul returns with her stocking.

Nessie smiles and digs into the stalking locating the gift that says _from Rachel_ on it. She tears open the paper and her eyes light up beautifully, "what? how'd you know I wanted this!?" she asks, completely surprised by the new eyeshadow palette as she leans down and hugs Rach.

"Santa told me," Rachel replies coyly.

Rachel had asked me what Nessie might want for Christmas. I knew that she had been trying to get her hands on an eyeshadow palette that kept selling out online. Rachel must have picked it up at a shop in Vancouver on our way here.

"Santa, huh?" Nessie looks to me with a glint in her eye as she digs into the stalking sorting through various candies and gift cards and then at the bottom of the stalking she finds it. I swallow.

"You don't have to open that right now," I say to Nessie as she pulls out the little blue Tiffany & Co. box with a white ribbon wrapped around it.

"This is from you?" Nessie asks holding the box, "oh, haha... what's in here? Gum?" she asks. She must think it's a joke. A cheap gift inside of an expensive box. Like that one year that I slipped one of those half-pound novelty Reese's Cups into an iPhone box.

Rick clears his throat uncomfortably.

Nessie pulls on the ribbon with a grin, convinced that she is about to open a gag gift. The grin slowly leaves her face when inside the box reveals a small velvet pouch; blue, just as the box. I'm nervous. I watch her face anxiously as she sets the box down on the coffee table and opens the pouch and pulls out the white gold necklace with the word _love_ spelled out in cursive, covered in little diamonds. Emily, Winnie, Leah and Rach all gasp at the same time.

"Oh my god, Jake. That must have cost you a fortune," Rachel whispers.

I hear all of the guys groan, I have likely just upstaged all of their gifts.

"Right... I'll get our things," Rick mutters walking up the stairs. The whole room is quiet

"... Like almost $4000," Leah whispers to Emily quietly. My eyes snap to the two who are clearly on the Tiffany's website appraising the gift. I shake my head at my beta and she quickly tucks her phone away.

Nessie is frozen in place, staring down at the necklace in her hand in complete shock. She is silent. I need her to say something. _Anything_.

"I uh... I better go," she whispers, closing her palm around the necklace and runs up the stairs without even looking at me.

_No. Don't say that._


	5. Chapter 5

**NESSIE**

I walk into the room that I share with Rick. I close the door behind me. I'm in shock.

"See what I mean?" Rick says as he shoves more of his stuff into his luggage, "get dressed."

I'm stunned. I look down at the diamond necklace in my hand. It's such an extravagant gift. How would Jacob even afford this? Why would he give this to me? What does it mean?

"Renesmee!" Rick says.

"Sorry, what?" I ask, shaking my head.

"Get dressed," he repeats.

I nod, setting the necklace down on the dresser where my makeup is and then dig through my luggage for underwear, a bra, jeans and a sweater and place them on the bed, "do we really have to go stay at a hotel?" I sigh, "are you sure that this whole thing isn't getting blown out of proportion?" I ask, playing with the belt of my white terrycloth robe.

"Your friend, Jacob, is a psycho. He wanted to throw me off the balcony. Then he gets you that ridiculously expensive and tacky necklace," he mutters with his arms crossed.

Tacky? I feel a little pang of hurt for him insulting my gift because I think the necklace is beautiful.

He stares at me, "why are you just standing there. Get dressed," he repeats for the third time.

"Oh… uh, yeah," I am about to take off my robe when I suddenly feel an intense urge to not be seen by him in such an intimate way, "can you turn around?" I ask, feeling self-conscious.

"I've seen you naked, Renesmee," Rick says, his voice flat.

The tone of his voice makes me angry. As though he thinks he has some kind of ownership over me. Simply because he has seen me without clothing on before does not mean that he has the right to see my body whenever.

"This isn't sexy time, Rick! I want to get dressed and I don't feel like being gawked at!" I snap at him.

Rick's eyes widen at the uncharacteristic sharpness to my voice, "sorry," he replies and turns his back to me.

I exhale a breath of frustration. This trip is not going as I hoped it would. I was hoping that we'd get to all hang out and maybe Jake and Rick would get along. Be friends. Doesn't look that way. Rick has made it clear on several occasions that he doesn't like how Jacob is always hanging around me. I guess there is no changing that.

I put on my undergarments and then slip into my favourite pair of jeans, "thank you," I mumble so he knows that he can turn around. I pull my sweater over my head. Rick just nods and starts to tidy up the room.

What am I even doing? If there isn't an understanding… mutual respect between Rick and Jacob… What kind of relationship can I even have with Rick? Am I just supposed to stop being friends with Jacob? Our histories are so intertwined. Is that even possible? And what of my family? I don't consider Rick someone to who I would tell the truth about everything. And I certainly don't want to _change_ him. He's not someone I want to spend eternity with… That person is Jacob. A pit forms in my stomach.

I go to the dresser to gather up my makeup. The necklace glimmers in the light. I hold it up to my chest, admiring the sparkle.

"You're not actually going to keep that thing, are you?" Rick scoffs.

"What? Why not? It was a gift and I like it," I frown, looking at Rick in the reflection.

He rolls his eyes, unaware that I can see him. Maybe Rick and I ought to get separate rooms at the lodge...

"I'll be right back," I leave the bedroom and run downstairs to look for Jacob. Everyone has gathered in the living room and are arguing over which Christmas movie to watch. I glance around. He isn't here.

I hope he hasn't gone for a run. I quickly turn the corner, going into the kitchen. That's when I see Jacob pouring rum over ice. He looks up at me and then looks back to his drink, adding some cola. His face has that same pained expression from earlier when the boys were attempting to get us to play that naughty drinking game.

"What does this mean?" I hold out the necklace in my palm.

"What?" he asks, walking out from behind the kitchen counter to face me.

"This necklace. What does it mean?" I ask again.

"It's a Christmas gift," he replies, sipping his drink.

My stomach aches. I'm either being stonewalled or I'm about to make an ass out of myself.

"Are you in love with me?" I finally ask. I watch his face for something. _Anything_. A glimmer of recognition. Even an eye roll would do. Instead, he just stares at me. I feel my face become hot when I realize he is not going to answer.

"If you don't like the necklace I can return it," he says gruffly. My eyes dart down to my palm and watch as he slides his hand over mine, taking the necklace back. I feel my heart shatter into a million pieces.

"Fine. Return it. If it doesn't mean anything, I don't want it," my voice shakes, giving way to how upsetting this all is.

"Good. Save me a couple of grand," he mutters, slipping it into his pocket.

Ouch. My throat feels thick.

"... And what was all that about with Rick? On the balcony... before Rachel slipped… You were fighting. Why?" I ask.

"Ask your boyfriend," Jacob mumbles spitefully and attempts to move around me but I grab his arm.

"I'm asking _you_ ," I demand.

Jacob just stares at me.

"This is exhausting. What's your problem?" I ask.

"Oh?" he laughs harshly, "I'm the one with the problem?"

"Yes! Why are you acting like this?" I can't take it anymore.

"Like what?" he puts his drink down and crosses his arms.

"Petulant and indignant. Picking fights. This isn't the Jacob I know… what is _wrong_ with you!?" I shout.

"I'm jealous, alright!" he snaps at me. Well, I wasn't expecting that.

"What?" I whisper.

"I'm jealous. I'm jealous of Rick. Jealous because he has you. He has you and I want you! He gets to hold your hand and kiss you and god knows what else and… and I want that to be me, Nessie..." he takes in a ragged breath, "Of course, I'm in love with you. You're my imprint. You _know_ what that means! How can you even ask me that?!" he shouts at me.

I am shocked by Jacob's confession. I don't know what to say. He's never snapped at me like this before. He certainly has never admitted to any of these feelings before.

I don't know what to say.

Jacob's eyes burn into me like a flame. He breathes out in a defeated manner, placing his palms on either side of my face, one of his thumbs brush over my lips. For a moment I think that he might kiss me.

"Renesmee," Rick calls from the other room, "the taxi is outside."

Jacob drops his hands, "it's okay… go," he says before joining our friends in the living room.

I remain standing there for a moment longer. What do I do now?

When I finally manage to move, my whole body feels numb. I wander, in a daze, to the door. Rick is outside loading his luggage into the taxi. Rick has left my luggage at the bottom of the stairs. I drag it outside and close the door behind me. The winter chill feels good on my hot face. I turn back to the chalet. Through the window, I see all of my friends sitting around laughing, having a great time. Apart from Jacob. He is sitting on his own, glaring down at his palm. The object in his hand reflects a little light and glitters; I know that it must be the necklace. He downs the rest of his drink and then sets the glass down on the floor by his feet.

"Let me help you with that," Rick says, attempting to take my luggage from me but I stop him.

"I'm not going," I pull my luggage back, "I want to stay here."

"Renesmee," he sighs.

"I'm in love with Jacob," I say quickly when he attempts to take my luggage again.

Rick looks up at me, "oh… okay," he replies, removing his hands from my luggage, "so… then… this is you breaking up with me."

"I'm sorry," I reply.

"It's fine, Renesmee," he grumbles, "I just wish you would have figured this out before we travelled 7 hrs north on Christmas Eve."

"I know," I whisper.

He has every right to be mad at me. I expect him to curse at me but instead, he leans forward and kisses my forehead, "Merry Christmas," he says softly and then gets into the taxi, leaving me there outside of the chalet.

I watch the taxi disappear into the night. The mixture of relief and heartbreak leave me feeling conflicted. I guess these things are never uncomplicated.

I pull my luggage back inside and leave it by the door. So many emotions are swirling inside of me. I am scared but also excited about the possibilities. Jacob's confession has left no doubt in my mind… But does he know that I want him back? How could he _not_ know?

I stand near the entrance to the living room. The group has given up on choosing a movie and appears to be drunk enough now to play the guy's dirty drinking game.

None of them notice me standing here because they are dying of laughter which appears to be at Seth's expense. Not even Jacob who is sitting off on his own, staring down at the necklace, notices me. The sadness on his face is difficult to bear. Sadness that may have been there all along. I simply never saw it. He kept it all hidden. Just as I kept my feeling for him hidden.

I slowly cross the floor, unnoticed by the rowdy group around the fire who are still enjoying Seth's uncomfortable face.

I reach the corner of the room where Jacob sits in an armchair in solitude. I stop in front of him. He looks up at me from the necklace. His eyes transitioning from pain to curiosity and surprise. I was supposed to be gone already. I think of all of the things I want to say to him. How much I am in love with him. How angry I am that he kept his feelings hidden from me. How I cannot bear to see him like this. How all I want is for us to be together.

All of these emotions are too much. I can only think of one way to get it all across.

Fuck it. I step forward and slide onto his lap, straddling him with a leg on each side. Before he can even get a word out I take his face into my hands and kiss him. Jacob inhales sharply, his arms wrap around me and pull my body flush against his. He kisses me back. My whole body ignites with passion, melting away any uncertainty I may have had about ending things with Rick. His one hand slides into my hair while the other presses against the small of my back. The kiss deepens.

"Look! Look-look-look-look!" I hear Leah shout. The room erupts into a collective cheer, glasses clink, feet stomp against the wood floods in celebration.

"Holy crap. It's a Christmas Eve miracle," Seth chuckles.

"Finally!" Rachel laughs.

"You owe me money, dude," Embry says.

"Ah, fuck," Collin replies.

When we finally part from the kiss to catch our breaths, Jacob is smiling at me with the same warm smile he has always reserved just for me. His eyes are soft. I smile back at him, ignoring the hubbub behind us.

"Um… where's Rick?" Jacob asks nervously.

"Gone," I whisper, "it didn't work out."

"Oh no?" he grins.

"No… I'm in love with someone else," I reply, shyly.

A large grin spreads across his face and he pulls me into a kiss. If even possible, deeper than last.


	6. Chapter 6

**JACOB**

**December 25th, 2016  
**

I can't sleep. Is it morning yet? I can't sleep.

I glance over at my phone, charging on the night table. It's 2:58 AM. I smile to myself. I can't sleep because I am too overjoyed. All I can think about is Nessie. And _that_ kiss. And when I'll get to see her again in the morning.

This kind of reminds me of Christmas morning when I was a kid. I would always wake up at a ridiculously early hour and lay awake in anticipation for all the gifts under the tree. I used to drive Rach and Becca nuts. The girls were older than me and always wanted to sleep in on Christmas morning. Especially because I would give them such hell the night before.

Usually, Mom and Dad would go to Harry Clearwater's annual Christmas Eve party and the twins would have to babysit me. I was such a nightmare on Christmas Eve, all hopped up on candy canes and excitement.

I was 9 when Becca lost it and told me that there was no Santa. Dad was so pissed. It was the same year that Mom had died.

Dad had wanted to reveal the whole Santa fabrication to me years sooner but Mom kept begging him to hold off just a little longer. She never wanted to let go of the magic and because I was her youngest it was only a matter of time. So to honour her wishes, he wanted to celebrate one last Christmas where I believed. Poor Becca, she felt so guilty when Dad told her that.

The holidays always make me think about Mom. I bet she would have loved Nessie.

I am startled when I hear a long whining creak from outside my door. I sit up. Is someone else awake?

"Oh, fuck," I hear Nessie whisper from the hallway.

I swing my legs over the side of the bed and go to the door, pushing it open. Nessie is walking towards the stairs in red buffalo plaid leggings and an oversized white hoodie. She is dragging the heavy plush blanket and pillow from her bed.

"Hey," I whisper, my heart filling with joy to finally get to see her again even though I had just wished her goodnight a few hours earlier. It startles her, "… what are you doing?" I ask.

"Sorry, Jacob. That door is too loud," she says assuming the creaking of the door woke me. "It's freezing up here," she whispers, "I'm going downstairs to lay by the fire," she swallows, her eyes scanning my body. I'm only wearing the flannel pyjama pants that Rachel got me as a gift.

"Want company?" I offer. I would invite her to snuggle with me in my bed but we literally just had our first real kiss a few hours ago and that might be a little too presumptuous.

"Sure," she smiles, blushing a little.

"I'll get my pillow," I whisper with a grin.

"Okay," she replies and heads down the stairs.

I go back into my room and dig out a white t-shirt from my travel bag and pull it on. I unplug my phone and slip it into my pocket and then tuck a pillow under my arm.

When I go back out into the hallway I hear a whisper, "Hey," it's Sam. I turn around.

"Sorry. Was I loud?" I ask walking over to him.

"No," he replies, "do you need something?" he asks in a low voice as to not wake anyone else.

"What?" I have no idea what he's talking about.

"A condom, man. Do you need one?" he asks.

"Uh… I uh… do I?" I whisper, wondering if Nessie had said something to one of the girls that got back to him.

"Just take it," he says, holding out a condom, "you never know."

I nod, taking the small foil square into my hand. It reads _ultra thin, extra lube, XL_. Well that's more than I needed to know. Not surprising. All the wolves are known for their endowments. I am no exception in that category.

"Thanks," I whisper; the back of my neck becoming hot.

"Anytime… good luck," Sam grins, smacking my shoulder and then goes back into his room.

Good luck? Am I supposed to be seducing Nessie? I tuck the condom into the pocket of my pyjama pants and go downstairs. Nessie is putting more wood onto the fire. I can see my breath. If the girls are going to insist on turning off the heat at night because their mates are too warm to sleep with otherwise, I might _have_ to keep Nessie warm in her bed. I smirk. Oh well… If I _have_ to…

"Yeah. They turned the heat right off," I shake my head, looking at the thermostat.

"Can't blame them," Nessie shrugs, dusting off her hands. She sits down on the floor next to the fire where she has spread out the blanket from her bed. She grabs a tin of chocolates that were left on the coffee table and starts to sort through them looking for the one she likes. Dark chocolate and coconut.

"We can't have you freezing because the mates are a little uncomfortable," I reply, tossing my pillow down next to her's.

"I can always stay with you to keep warm," Nessie offers with a grin.

I sit down next to her and swallow, "uh... Yeah, of course," I reply, helping her locate her favourite candy in the tin. I hand it to her.

I'm _not_ going to say no to that.

"I really like my Christmas gift, by the way," Nessie says unwrapping the candy and offers me a bite. I shake my head, allowing her to enjoy the entire piece.

"Good. I'm glad," I smile.

"I'd actually like it back, please," she says softly.

"Oh… fuck. Of course. I'm sorry, love. I shouldn't have taken it away from you. That was rude of me," I apologise, remembering that I had taken the necklace back when she was interrogating me about what it meant, "it's upstairs. I can go get it."

"No," Nessie chuckles and pulls me back down when I attempt to stand, "you can give it to me in the morning… Um… unless it's too expensive," she says, looking down shyly.

"Why would you say that?" I frown.

"Everyone thinks it's kind of… over-the-top," she replies.

"Nessie, I bought it for you because I want you to have it," I defend the gift.

"But if it's too much, I'll understand," she replies quickly.

"It's not. The business is doing really good," I promise her.

"Are you sure?" she asks, not convinced and looking guilty.

I shake my head and pull my phone out of my pocket. I locate my banking application and then scroll through until I find the business account my dad and I share. I flip the screen to her. It reads $88,622.49.

Nessie's eyes bulge, "oh my god! You earned almost 90K this year?" she says, grabbing my phone out of my hand and looking closer. She looks up at me in complete shock.

"Well… no. Not exactly. It's more complicated than that," I explain. "We have investors to pay off and the bank... and we want to expand, focus on the resale aspect. We'll need to reinvest a portion back into the business to get that up and running. But things are going well," I take my phone back and set it down on the floor, "well enough for me to treat you to a nice piece of jewelry and for you to not feel guilty about it."

Nessie sits up on her knees and wraps her arms around my neck, hugging me, "I'm so proud of you," she whispers.

The gesture fills me with warmth and I smile, holding her against me. That's the whole point. The reason. "It was all for you," I whisper.

"What?" she asks, sitting back from the hug.

"I wanted to do something. So I could be worthy of you," I explain taking both of her hands into mine.

"Wow… I'm honoured," Nessie replies looking surprised, "all of that hard work was in order to be worthy of _me_?" she asks, astonished, "And I thought I was so unworthy yet here you are with the big gestures," she mumbles.

"What?" I frown.

"Nothing," Nessie says looking down and pulling her hands from mine.

"No. Renesmee. What was that? What was that supposed to mean?" I ask her, taking her chin into my hand and tilt her head up to look at me.

Nessie inhales deeply, "I dunno…" she says, "I just kind of … I dunno. I never felt like I was the same as the others," she replies, struggling to articulate her feelings, "like how the other guys in the pack are willing to move heaven and earth to be with their imprint…" Nessie breaths out again, "it always felt like I wasn't like the other imprints… because you never ever pursued me," she shrugs, "like I wasn't worth it."

My stomach sinks.

"Nessie, I didn't want to be like them. I wanted you to choose to be with me on your own volition. Not because I harassed you enough or backed you into a corner," I reply, defending my intentions.

"I can't help how I feel," she whispers looking down at the blue foil wrapper from the chocolate. She picks it up and crinkles it nervously in her hands.

"Tell me," I whisper, wishing to appraise the damage I have apparently done by attempting to give her freedom.

"I don't want to," she says softly.

"Please," I insist.

She inhales deeply, not looking up from the foil that she is nervously crinkling with her fingers, "I guess… undesirable… unworthy… unlovable."

I'm horrified.

"No," I take her face into my hands, forcing her to look at me, "you're _everything._ Desirable, worthy and _especially_ loveable," I can't believe she thought these things. I have so much work to do. I lean forward and kiss her tenderly, "you're all I think about," I confess against her lips.

"Tell me more," she whispers, leaning back on her elbows, against the blanket.

I grin at her appetite for flattery, "beautiful," I continue, leaning over her and spread kisses along her neck and collarbones, "captivating... clever," I run my hand over the length of her thigh until I reach her hip. I squeeze, "and sexy," I mumble against her ear.

A small breathy moan escapes her lips. She liked that, "what else?" she asks, greedily.

"Entrancing," I continue while kissing her ear, my hand journeys up from her hip. I slide my palm against the bare skin of her waist, under the white hoodie, "vivacious…"

"What's that?" Nessie mumbles.

"Oh.. um," I pull away to look at her, "I guess it means lively or spirited."

"No… what's _that_ " she points past me.

I glance to where Nessie is looking and pointing. My eyes widen in alarm. Fuck! That's the goddamn condom Sam gave me. It must have slipped out of my pocket when I took my phone out earlier to show Nessie how well the business is doing.

"It's nothing," I reply and try to recover the small foil square but Nessie is too quick and gets to it before I do.

She lets out one harsh laugh, "what did you think was going to happen down here?" she asks, holding the condom between her slender fingers, inspecting it.

"I didn't.. I mean nothing," I exhale. My face feels hot, "Sam ambushed me in the hallway. I guess he heard us and thought he was doing me a favour," I reply, desperately attempting to recover from my embarrassment.

"Oh," she nods, cocking an eyebrow, " _ultra thin, extra lube, XL,_ " she reads the package out loud, "well, that's more than I ever needed to know about Sam," Nessie says, amused.

I chuckle softly. I had the exact same thought.

"Would this work?" Nessie asked, swallowing, "for you?" her cheeks turn pink.

"Um…" I nod, assuming she is talking about the XL size, "I suppose. Yeah…"

"So what they all say is not... Um… not an exaggeration?" Nessie asks.

I look to her for clarification.

"What all the mates say about the guys being… big?" she asks, touching the back of her hand to her cheek which deepens in hue.

"Uh… no. It's not an exaggeration," I confirm. I look away, feeling the back of my neck tingle. I can't believe we're sitting here talking about how big my cock is. When I look back at her I find that she is staring down at my pants, "Nessie!" I laugh.

"What!? Sorry!" she says, her eyes darting back up to me.

"Yeah, thank you. My eyes are up here," I tease her. I am relieved when she laughs.

"So like… in terms of inches," she continues anyways.

"No!" I laugh.

"Ballpark?" she quickly follows up.

"No way," I refuse. Yes, I measured. I'm a guy. We all do that shit. I'm _not_ telling her.

"Come on!" she laughs.

"No!" I smirk at her, "I'm not over here asking you for your bra size."

"32 C," she replies and then laughs at my confused face, "you have no idea what that means, do you?"

I shake my head, smirking.

"Less than a handful more than a mouthful," she explains with a naughty grin.

"Oh my god. Who are you?" I laugh. I can't believe my ears. I attempt to take the condom away from her but she holds it back.

"I better hang onto this," she says, tucking it into the pocket of her leggings.

"If you insist," I reply, leaning down on my side and watch her. "You're so beautiful when you smile," I sigh, content in this moment; having everything I have ever desired right in front of me.

Nessie leans over me and presses her lips against mine. Her hands hook over my shoulders and she pushes me back against the blanket. I follow her lead, laying down on my back as we kiss.

I want to remember everything about this exact moment; the crackling sound from the fireplace and the way the light from the flames is dancing along the floors and walls. Nessie's soft lips against mine. The way she smells; so lovely. And how her body fits perfectly in my arms. I close my eyes, taking in all the sensations.

Nessie's delicate tongue gingerly sweeps against my bottom lip. My mouth opens, instinctively, inviting her tongue inside. I slide my fingers into her hair, holding the back of her neck, as my other hand rests on her thigh.

My whole body feels warm and tingles with excitement, having never been in this close proximity with her before… or with any woman, for that matter.

Nessie's hips lower to rest upon mine. I breathe in sharply, I am trying desperately to control my desires and keep my arousal at bay… Nessie is vehemently working against me; sliding and grinding her hips on me until my body finally gives in and I become rigid against her.

"Fuck, Renesmee," I hiss, between kisses.

"Mmmhm," she mumbles, "you like that?" she whispers, her mouth moving to kiss and suck on my neck. I suspect my panting is making it too difficult for her to continue to kiss my lips.

The motion of her hips provides deep and satisfying pleasure. Both of my hands migrate to her hips, squeezing hard. I close my eyes, doing everything I can within my power to calm myself. No use.

"We have to stop," I tell her, finally; my heart is pounding.

"We do?" she asks, her lips against my ear; the rocking of her hips consistent.

"I'm not going to last, I'm really close" I warn her, getting the sentence out quickly and slightly in a panic because I am literally seconds away.

"I can slow down if you want," she says softly and pulls back, pressing herself into me more gently, taking the pressure off. I swallow and let out a soft exhale as she manages to pull me back from the brink, "is that better?" she asks.

"Fuck, Ness," I mumble, "what are you trying to do to me?" I whisper.

"Get you off… was that not clear?" she asks, stopping altogether.

I swallow, looking up at her, "I uh…" I'm shocked. Here I am, working so hard to keep from losing it and she is actively trying to make me lose it.

"Do you really want me to stop?" she asks, sitting up on her knees, pulling all contact completely away.

I swallow again. She looks down at me with embarrassment on her face as though she has just been caught doing something she wasn't supposed to.

"God, no," I whisper, pulling her hips back down, "don't stop."

Nessie grins, looking relieved. She pushes her hips back down into mine, rocking and grinding as she was. She kisses my lips, hungrily.

I squeeze and guide her hips with my hands. I kiss her passionately, pushing my tongue inside her mouth. A soft and unexpected growl rumbles from my chest. The pleasure intensifies. Something about knowing what she is trying to accomplish, makes this all so much hotter.

The euphoric rush once more begins to build but this time I don't attempt to hold back. I pull Nessie's hips into me harder, encouraging her to rock faster.

"So close," I whisper.

"Just let go, baby," she replies softly.

And with that, I push past the brink, softly moaning against her mouth. Her kisses turn gentle and loving. She completely surrenders to me, only now moving against me as I guide her with my hands; slower, slower and slower until finally still.

Once my composure returns I lift my hands to her face and kiss her affectionately, whilst taking in calming breaths.

"Wow," I mumble against her mouth. I can tell that she is smiling.

"We should do laundry," she chuckles softly.

"Probably," I whisper with a smirk.


	7. Chapter 7

**NESSIE**

"I'm sorry," I apologize to Rachel, "you said to prepare the potatoes, I thought you meant to peel them. Why do you want to bake them anyways?" I ask, standing in front of a dozen peeled potatoes.

Rachel exhales a long and irritated breath, "because Mom always baked potatoes for Christmas dinner!"

"Okay… but why? It takes a whole hour to bake potatoes. Won't the turkey get cold?" I ask.

I got roped into helping Rachel make Christmas dinner. She got up super early to start the preparations and caught me doing a load of laundry. After Jacob and I were finished fooling around by the fire he went to go shower. I was putting his boxers and pyjama pants through the wash and I found a massive load of damp towels piled up on the floor near the machine that had been forgotten. It was a good thing that I came across them because one by one someone came downstairs this morning looking for a clean towel. If it weren't for our need of early morning laundry, they would have been out of luck.

"Um… guys," Winnie says, interrupting our squabble about the appropriate type of Christmas potato.

"What?!" Rachel snaps, as she hobbles to turn around on her sprained ankle.

"The turkey is still frozen," Winnie says, dropping the turkey down on the counter. It makes a loud thump noise.

I press my lips together.

Rachel bursts into tears.

"Paul!" I shout out into the living room.

"Yeah?" he asks, coming into the kitchen with a candy cane sticking out of his mouth. He sees Rachel crying, "what happened?" he asks with a frown, putting the candy cane down on the counter and wraps his arms around her.

"Nessie peeled all of the potatoes and the turkey is still frozen," Rachel sobs into Paul's chest.

Jake comes into the kitchen after Paul to see what's going on, "You peeled all the potatoes?" Jacob asks me with a horrified expression.

I shrug, "sorry?" I reply. Who the hell makes baked potatoes on Christmas?

"Jacob!" Rachel pulls away from Paul's chest when she sees her brother come into the kitchen, "you'll know! The turkey is still frozen. What would Mom do?" she asks, desperately.

Jacob laughs, "Rach, this would never happen to Mom."

"Oh great! Thanks a lot, Jake. Perfect. I've failed at Christmas dinner. I'll probably fail at being a mother too. I might as well just stock up on microwave dinners and start looking for a good home for the baby," Rachel sobs, into Paul's chest.

"Ass," Paul curses at Jacob.

"Okay, can everyone just please take a calming breath," Winnie says, looking down on her phone, "it says here that if your turkey is still frozen all you have to do is thaw it in a pot of cold water," she says.

"I didn't bring a giant turkey-sized pot big enough to submerge a whole turkey in cold water, Winona," Rachel sniffles.

"I'll clean out the sink really good and we can just let it soak in there," Jacob says. "Relax, Rach. Mom wasn't perfect at everything and you don't have to be perfect either," he replies.

"But the potatoes..." Rachel sighs.

"Will be mashed and it'll be fine," Jacob says, "Paul, why don't you take her to go relax in the living room. I doubt being on her feet all day is good for that ankle, anyways. I'll take over here," Jake volunteers.

"But I wanted to do Christmas dinner," Rachel inhales; her breath shaky and upset.

"Rach, you know what Mom would do?" Jacob asks.

"What?" she asks, wiping away her tears.

"She'd let me handle it," he replies with a warm smile.

Rachel finally just nods, "okay, you're probably right," she says and then looks at me, "I'm sorry, Nessie. The potato thing is my fault. I shouldn't have assumed you'd just know and I shouldn't have gotten mad at you."

"That's okay," I walk over to her and give her a hug, "you should really just enjoy the day and let us all take care of you. Christmas next year is going to be really busy for you with the new baby," I reply.

"Okay, you've convinced me," she says and allows Paul to walk her into the living room.

I lean against the counter, smiling at Jacob.

"What?" he asks, putting on an apron.

"I'm so attracted to you right now," I grin as he ties it in the back.

He chuckles softly, "I have no idea what I'm doing," he replies and then looks to Winnie, "can you be our official Googler?" he asks, putting her in charge of researching recipes and techniques.

"Sure," Winnie nods, "I'll go get my laptop," she replies.

"And recruit Seth," Jake adds as she is leaving, "we could use an extra pair of hands."

* * *

Myself, Jacob, Seth and Winnie spend the majority of the day making Christmas dinner. All of the side dishes are done. After all the drama with dinner, everything turned out fine. The food was good, even the mashed potatoes which Rachel said were the best she ever had. I'm sure she was _just_ saying that because she felt bad for snapping at me.

I pick up some of the empty dishes and walk them over to the sink.

"No, no, no," Leah says, taking them from me, "you're done for the day. Let Emily and I take care of this. Go have a donut. Have a drink. Watch a movie or something… you've worked _hard enough_ , today," she says with a big grin.

I stare at her for a few moments, sensing the innuendo in her voice. Then I remember that Jacob took the pack out to run drills earlier, "oh god," I cringe. Crap. I forgot that they're all in each other's heads when phased. She knows _everything_ about this morning.

"I'm impressed," Leah continues, sipping on some mulled wine.

"Stop," I beg her.

"Don't worry. I gave him hell," Leah winks.

"What?" I ask. I don't understand.

"He let you do all that work and didn't even return the favour," Leah replies, her voice ringing like a bell, "don't worry. I got your back."

"Oh god," I cover my face with my hands.

"You made quite the impression," Leah teases, "all that sexual energy you introduced to our alpha… I mean, that all transfers down… Poor Seth; Winnie is not ready yet, so he's getting none. _Poor Embry,_ he doesn't even have someone. Cold showers for those boys… and poor Roger, he'll get no rest tonight, for sure."

I blush. Her teasing is relentless and it is obvious that she is going out of her way to make me uncomfortable.

"Bye," I take a donut, steal Leah's mulled wine out of her hand and go to the living room to see what everyone is up to. More card games, apparently.

I sit down next to Roger, getting an inspiration. "So… almost three years with Leah, huh? You gonna propose or what?" I ask, seeking a little revenge for Leah's teasing just moments ago.

Roger does a double-take, "wha-... uh… I uh… I mean…" he swallows, "did she say something to you?"

"You might just want to nail that down… You know… before she imprints on someone else," I nod.

"That can happen?" his face drops.

I look past Roger to see Collin grinning ear-to-ear.

"Well no. Not unless you're sleeping together," I reply.

"What?" he asks, leaning in.

"Oh, god. You are, aren't you? You need to stop immediately, Roger," I warn him, "if you continue to give in to her sexual prowess, outside of the laws of marriage, she will eventually lose interest and imprint on another."

Roger looks at me with horror in his eyes, "I've got to go," he says and hurries upstairs.

Collin leans back to watch his older brother run off in a panic. He sniggers, "I don't know why you did that but thank you so much."

I grin and take a bite out of my donut.

An extremely warm hand rests down on my shoulder. I glance up to see who is behind me and smile when I realize it's Jacob. He gently lifts my hair out of the way and places the diamond necklace he had gifted to me for Christmas on my neck, carefully locking the clasp in the back.

"It looks perfect on you," Jacob whispers in my ear and then presses hot kisses along my neck.

I inhale to keep from moaning in front of everyone, "it's beautiful," I reply, running my fingertips over the white gold and diamonds.

"You're beautiful," he mumbles, "do you wanna go upstairs?" he asks, his low voice vibrating against my neck.

"Mmhm," I nod, taking his hand and place the rest of my donut down on the coffee table where I am sure one of the guys will claim it, eventually.

Jacob leads me up the stairs. Once at the top he stops, looking between my room and his. I smile at him and pull his hand, guiding him into my room and close the door behind us.

The chatter and laughter downstairs is loud. Loud enough to not feel self-conscious about being discovered.

I twist the lock on the bedroom door. When I turn around I find that Jacob is standing close behind me. He places two hands against either side of the door frame, trapping me between the door and his body. He gazes down at me with dark and intense eyes.

I swallow, feeling the thrill of arousal but also vulnerability as though I am being stalked by a dangerous animal. The fusion of emotions is intriguing.

He leans down, pressing his face into my hair and inhales deeply. I close my eyes, enjoying the sensation of his warm face pressed against my cheek and ear. He leans back from my hair and slides one of his hands off the door frame and gently sweeps his thumb across my lips. Then, at an agonizingly slow pace, trails that same thumb down my neck, over my chest and between the valley of my breasts, his eyes following as his hand descends.

My breath catches in my throat as he continues on down my stomach until he reaches the button of my jeans. His eyes flicker up to mine, "is this okay?" he whispers, only pushing the button half-way through; awaiting my permission to continue.

I nod but I guess that isn't enough confirmation for him.

"Say yes or no," he requests, softly; his eyes gazing into mine.

"Yes," I finally whisper, exhaling a deep breath I wasn't aware that I was hanging onto.

Jacob pushes the button free and then slowly pulls the zipper down. He lowers his gaze, observing as his thumb runs across the lace waistband of my slate Victoria Secret panties. He drags his thumb down past the lace and onto the cotton, touching me through the fabric.

"Jacob," I whisper, closing my eyes and lean my head back against the door. His thumb changes direction, sliding back up slowly and then down again. I become aroused in that needy kind of way. The way that makes you ache on the inside; desperate to be filled.

Then… _knock, knock, knock._

I'm startled. Jacob freezes. I glance up at him; he looks annoyed at the interruption.

"Um… yeah?" I ask, trying to steady my shaking voice.

Jacob grins at me. He continues to stroke me.

I gasp softly, tilting my head back again.

"We're reserving snowmobiles for tomorrow. Do you and Jake need one or two?" Emily asks.

I frown. _What? Snowmobiles?_ I open my mouth to answer but nothing comes out.

"Ness?" Emily asks again.

"Uh… I um… One's fine," I reply.

_Go away, Emily._

"Okay, cool," she replies. Her footsteps descend down the stairs.

Jacob adds more pressure, teasing me through the thin layer of now damp fabric.

I let out the moan I had been holding back.

"Yeah?" Jacob asks, with a grin, taking my moan as a doubt-free confirmation of pleasure.

"Yeah," I reply, panting softly.

I gather the hem of his t-shirt in my hands and push it up his torso. Jacob completes the task, pulling it up over his head and then discards it on the floor. My eyes scan over his abs and chest, drinking in his strong and sexy physique. He reaches over to the dimmer switch and slides the controller down. The room dims with only a little bit of light remaining. Just enough.

Jacob pulls me into his arms and kisses me passionately as he leads us towards the bed. He parts from the kiss and is careful pulling my shirt over my head as not to snag my necklace or pull my hair. I internally curse at myself for choosing this unflattering nude-coloured bra, this morning. Though, he does not appear to be put off by it as evident by the way he is fondling my breast in his palm whilst intently peering down at my bust with a lustful gaze.

I reach behind my back and unhook my bra, the straps slide down my arms and the cups because loose to my body. Jacob pulls the garment off and drops it to the floor. He leans me down onto the bed, grasping my bare breast in his large hand and spreads hot kisses all over my neck and chest.

I arch my back, moaning softly, "Jacob."

He descends down my body, kissing along my torso as he reaches my open jeans. He hooks his fingers into the waist of my jeans and gazes up at me, "you'd tell me if you were uncomfortable with any of this, right?" he asks.

"Um… sure?" I don't know why he thinks I'd be uncomfortable. Maybe it's a whole thing about him wanting me to _choose_ him.

"Renesmee," he sighs, unsatisfied with my response and moves to sit up.

"Jake. No. Stop, stop," I reach out for him when he begins his retreat, holding out my palm, wishing to share with him my private thoughts.

He's hesitant but leans into my touch.

I bring to the front of my mind how turned on I am. I share explicit details; how wet I feel, how my body is aching to be filled… filled by him. How his stroking drove me crazy and my desire to feel his lips and tongue touch me in the same way.

I quickly pull my hand away before I accidentally share too much of my desires during this rapid-fire reassurance.

Jacob's eyes turn dark and animalistic. He appears to be satisfied with my reassurance, hooking his fingers into the waist of my jeans and forcefully tugging them down my legs. He tosses the denim onto the floor and leans his face down between my thighs, wasting no time fulfilling my desire to feel his mouth on me. First, he kisses me through the fabric of my panties and then he tugs them down as well, discarding them with my jeans on the floor. His lips and tongue work in tandem, pleasuring me in the most enthusiastic way I have ever experienced.

I gasp, arching my back. My whole body heats up. His appetite for pleasuring me is such a turn on however his technique is amateur, often missing the mark. He pushes one and then two fingers inside of me, however, the rhythm of how he is pumping them in and out of me is distracting.

I bite my lip. Do I tell him? Do I fake it? I don't want to hurt his feelings… But he's doing this to pleasure me. Shouldn't it be pleasurable?

"Jacob?" I whisper.

"Hm?" he looks up at me, lifting his head.

"You uh… you know where the clitoris is, right?" I ask him in my most gentle voice.

He exhales and then laughs nervously, "If that's your question, I guess not."

I smile at him and bring my hand down. I run my finger over the exact location of pleasure.

He observes the way I run my finger over and over. After about a minute he takes over, using this finger. He looks up at me for reassurance and I nod, leaning my head back, releasing a soft moan. Soon he replaces his finger with his tongue, pleasuring me in a steady sweeping motion.

I gasp, "yes, like that… keep doing that," I moan softly.

He pushes his fingers into me again. I feel a torrent of frustration because it is distracting me from the movement of his tongue which he has _just_ perfected.

"Lose the finger stuff!" I snap at him. He slides his fingers out and softly laughs against me, finding my bossyness amusing.

He focuses on the sweeping motion of his tongue. After about 10 minutes of steady and persistent action, I start to feel a build, "faster," I moan softly. Jacob grips my thighs tighter and exhales a steamy hot breath, moving his tongue faster. I can tell he is getting tired. I moan louder, "Jacob!" I gasp, closing my eyes. He picks up the speed, pressing his tongue into me. Harder and harder, faster and faster, until I feel a burst of pleasure consume me.

Once the wave of pleasure subsides I open my eyes and smile at Jacob who is breathing heavily. He lays down with his head on the pillow next to me.

"Does it usually take that long?" he asks. He looks completely exhausted.

I grin at him with a little shrug, "no not always. Sometimes I can get there in like… I dunno. A few minutes," I reply, grabbing a wool throw blanket from the bottom of the bed and cover up.

"Tell me about how _that_ works," he asks, running his hand up and down my side.

"Why? Impatient?" I tease him with a grin.

"I think I lost a layer of skin on my tongue," he replies with a pout.

"Poor thing," I chuckle.

"Tell me your secrets," he demands.

I laugh and kiss him softly, "I'll tell you _all_ my secrets."

He looks down at my chest as he runs his fingers over the diamond _love_ necklace. He swallows and shyly glances back up to my eyes, "do you still have that feeling?" he asks, "the uh… ache? Of um… of wanting to be filled?"

My smile fades and I feel my lips part. I nod, "yes…" I whisper.


	8. Chapter 8

**JACOB**

**December 31st, 2017**

"Wake up, baby," I gently shake Nessie's shoulder, "tell me what you want?"

Nessie yawns, looking around. It is just before dawn. She had briefly awoken at the border to present her passport to the officer but then went back to sleep. Christmas at the chalet was a no-go this year. Too many conflicting plans and I didn't want to miss my niece's very first Christmas. Baby Angelique, who we all affectionately call Angel, was the center of attention.

So we're doing New Year's at the chalet instead.

"Where are we?" she yawns again from the passenger seat of the SUV we rented.

"Tim Hortons drive-through," I reply. I've made a habit out of going to this Canadian chain each time we travel to the chalet.

"A double-double," she mumbles her coffee order, rubbing her eyes, "buttered bagel?"

I park the SUV in the lot of the Tim Hortons so we can drink our coffee and eat without bouncing around on the highway.

"Maybe we should just stay home next year," Nessie says, taking a long gulp of coffee.

"Why?" I frown, "you love going to the chalet."

"Everyone is dropping out because they're either pregnant or have kids. Jared and Kim, Rachel and Paul, Sam and Emily probably won't be back next year … Leah and Roger are starting the adoption process, who knows where they'll be next year … it's going to be a bunch of single boys and us."

"Until the kids are old enough to come along. Then it'll be like a big family holiday," I reply with a smile, "... when we have kids, you'll think of it differently."

Nessie chokes on her coffee, "when we have kids?"

I glance over at her, "what? You don't want kids?"

"I don't know… Not anytime soon… Do you really want to blow our lives up like that? You see how exhausted Rach and Paul are with Angel," Nessie replies. "We're free. We can go anywhere and do anything. A baby is like a giant anchor."

I frown. A giant anchor? I can't believe what I'm hearing. It's like all of the life plans I have been thinking about his past year are going up in smoke in under 5 minutes.

"What? What's wrong?" Nessie asks, sensing my disappointment.

"Nothing," I reply, taking a bite out of my bagel.

"What? Did you want a baby?" she asks. "Really, Jake? We're not even married."

"You don't want to get married!" I shout. I had brought up marriage last summer and she turned the idea down… Good thing I didn't take the ring out. Edward had warned me not to propose before talking to her about it first. He must have known.

"I never said that. I said I wasn't _ready_ to be married. There's a difference," she replies.

"So when you're _ready_ to be married then you'll want kids?" I ask her.

Nessie doesn't answer. She just shrugs and drinks her coffee.

"Great," I mumble, sarcastically.

"Are we going to spend New Year's Eve fighting over hypothetical children?" Nessie sighs.

"We better get on the road," I mutter, putting my coffee in the cupholder and back out of the parking lot.

The drive is silent and uncomfortable. A few times Nessie tries to talk about activities we can do at the resort near the chalet but I'm too preoccupied by the news that she has no plans for our future.

"So you're just going to give me the silent treatment for the rest of the drive?" she asks after a long silence.

"I'm concentrating on the road," I lie.

"Really? The road is fine. Conditions are great," Nessie replies, "... can we talk about this?" she asks.

"I just don't know what there is to talk about," I mumble.

"That's fine," Nessie scowls, opening her purse, pulling out her earbuds; she pushes the small plastic devices into her ears and ignores me.

I feel like an idiot. This past year I have worked so hard. We closed down the local repair portion of the business. Dad and I have focused on the restoration and resale of bikes. We worked really hard to pay off all of the investors and the bank. This next year is all going to be about expanding and making a profit. A profit I was planning to use to build a nice big house. Big enough for our future children…

I just don't think she gets how hard it's been for me. How having that vision of a family with her makes it seem all worth it.

What does she do? Leisurely composes music all day in her family's over-the-top mansion. Why would she understand?

By the time we make it to the chalet, it is fully daylight. There are several SUVs in the drive. The others had arrived last night.

I pull the SUV into the driveway. Nessie hops out, slams the car door and heads inside without me.

"I'll get the bags!" I shout towards the chalet and roll my eyes. Great start to the vacation.

"Woof," Leah says observing the drama, "what was _that_ about?" she asks while cleaning the underside of her car of slush and grime with a long brush.

"Never mind," I grumble, opening the back of the SUV and start to take out all of the bags and gear for various winter sports.

"I'll find out sooner or later," Leah reminds me.

That's true. She'll eventually get into my head.

"Just found out that Nessie has no interest in marriage or kids. None of it," I grumble.

"Oh," Leah swallows. A sore point with her.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't be talking about this with you. I know how hard it's been," I reply.

Leah had confirmed her infertility this past year after visiting several specialists. Roger and her looked into every option from surrogacy to egg donation but settled on adoption. So they had a quickie wedding because getting chosen is more favourable for married couples and have been diligently working towards making it happen. The Cullens treated them to a honeymoon in the Maldives. So whilst their wedding lacked sophistication, their honeymoon was amazing. I saw the pictures.

"No. That's fine," Leah replies. "My problems have nothing to do with you… Moving a little fast on the family thing, aren't we?"

"We've been together forever," I roll my eyes.

"You've known each other forever but have been officially together for only a year. There's a difference," Leah replies.

I glare.

Leah laughs, "you need to go have a conversation with your lady. Y'all don't seem to be on the same page about where all this is headed."

"No shit," I grumble, locking up the SUV and haul all of the bags and equipment into the chalet.

When I get inside I do an inventory of who is already here. Collin, Brady, Embry, Roger and Seth are hanging in the living room, drinking already. I look over to the kitchen where I see Quil making grilled cheese sandwiches with Claire. I can't believe she's 14 already. Her parents came along this time. I'm pretty sure it's because Claire has developed a really bad crush on Quil. She'll be spending nights with her parents at the lodge's hotel. Quil is navigating the crush the best he can. Not crossing boundaries. It's going to get complicated for him very soon. Been there.

"Hey, man," Sam greets me as I take off my coat.

"Hey," I smile, Emily follows, she's just starting to show, "congrats on the baby. You look beautiful," I compliment Emily and kiss her cheek.

"You're so sweet. I feel like garbage," she replies, rubbing her belly with a smile, "morning sickness, you know… hey, um…. Winnie is upstairs with Ness… Is everything okay?" she asks.

 _Great_. _Looks like alliances are forming. She's probably bitching about how I'm trying to trap her or something._

"I better go check on her," I hang my coat up and drag our travel bags to the top of the stairs.

None of the chalkboards on the doors have been filled in yet so I peek in every room until I find Nessie and Winona.

"Couples argue, Nessie," Winnie says calmly, "it's not a big deal."

I listen by the door, not making myself known.

"You weren't there. He was mean about it, Winnie. He wouldn't even talk to me. It was like he was going out of his way to punish me," Nessie sniffles.

She's crying? Fuck. Now I feel like an asshole.

"Maybe he just didn't know what to say," Winnie replies. I appreciate that she is trying to be a neutral party.

"Sure," Nessie replies, sarcastically.

I knock on the door, pushing it open. My heart breaks a little when I see my love's red puffy eyes and shiny nose, "Winnie, can Nessie and I have a moment, please."

Winnie nods and quickly excuses herself from the room. I shut the door.

Nessie looks up at me, sitting on the bed.

"I'm sorry," I apologize. "I was disappointed and responded badly. The way I behaved on the way here wasn't okay."

Nessie wraps her arms around herself. She doesn't reply.

"Aren't you going to say something?" I ask her.

"I'm not sure what I can say. ' _I'm not ready'_ and ' _I don't know'_ aren't good enough answers to your marriage and kids questions," Nessie says, wiping her eyes with the palm of her hand, "you just want me to say ' _yes'."_

"Those _are_ good enough answers," I exhale, "I just… I don't know. I feel like I waited _so_ long to have you. Now that I got you, I want it all. I just feel… ready," I try to explain, "you don't feel that way?"

"No. I just wanted you," she replies, "the rest… it all scares me. I'm not ready for any of that. I know I'm an adult and everything but I've only existed for all of 11 years."

I Inhale. Fuck. I never thought of it that way, "okay. I'm sorry. You're right," I nod. I neglected to think of any of this from her perspective. She's barely lived at all.

"Really?" she whispers.

"Of course," I go to her and sit down on the bed next to her, "I want you to _want_ all of the same things I want for us. If you're not in a place where you can want these things, that's fine. I can be patient," I reply.

"Patient?" she smiles at me, " _you_ can be patient?"

"I can _try_ to be patient," I correct myself with a grin and give her a soft kiss.

"Thank you for understanding," she replies and kisses me back.

"Of course," I wrap an arm around her. She leans her head against my chest. Her eyes wander down to the bed.

"This is the bed," Nessie says, running her hand over the mattress. For a moment I don't understand what she is talking about but then I look around the room and realize that this is the exact room where we made love for the first time.

"Oh, god," I cringe, "yeah… and _that_ went as well as expected."

Nessie swears up and down that it was great but I remember it differently. First, she had to walk me through how to pleasure her orally… it took _forever_. I later discovered that it was because I wasn't using nearly enough pressure or going fast enough; not to mention that I could have probably dedicated _a lot_ more time to foreplay.

Then we had sex… which lasted all of one and a half minutes.

Nessie chuckles, "stop. You were fine."

"Better now, though. Right?" I ask with a smirk.

"Of course, you're an amazing lover," she agrees with a grin, climbing onto my lap, straddling me with one leg on each side.

I run my hands over her rear and squeeze, pulling her pelvis closer, "go on," I grin, inviting her to flatter me as I kiss her neck.

"Hmmm," she moans softly, tilting her head to the side so I can properly suck and nibble on her neck, "oh… um. You're attentive and adventurous... Spontaneous... Always aiming to please..." she swallows, her breathing is staggered. I pull her hips into mine again. She slowly rocks against me; I exhale a soft breath.

"What else?" I whisper in her ear, feeling my pants become tight in response to her rocking.

"Sensual," she continues and gasps when I suck her earlobe into my mouth, "with a… Nice. Big. Cock," she purrs.

"This cock?" I ask, pulling her hips into mine forcefully so that she can feel my erection.

She giggles, "that's the one."

I grin. In one swift movement, I lift Nessie up off my lap and lay her down on the bed. She looks up at me with desire in her eyes. _That look_. I crush her lips with mine, kissing her fervidly. My hand wanders up her shirt, pushing her bra out of the way; I firmly cup her breast.

Then… _knock, knock, knock._

Why does this _always_ happen here?

"Fuck off!" I growl.

Nessie laughs at my rude response at the attempted interruption. I hold my breath until I hear footsteps leaving. _Good._

I return to kissing her, pushing my tongue past her lips in an aggressive manner. She lets me in.

Nessie wastes no time, her hands already unfastening my belt. I pull away from the kiss.

"Woah… so you're just going for it, huh?" I tease her, we usually spend _a lot_ more time on the warmup before she goes right for my pants. However, sometimes she is eager to just get to the main event. I guess this is one of those times.

She grins, nodding enthusiastically.

I look around the room, maniacally, until my eyes locate Nessie's purse sitting on the floor, near the bed. I reach down and toss it up onto the mattress and start rummaging through, looking for the stash of condoms she keeps in there.

"Literally so much junk," I grumbled, frustrated that I can't locate a single condom among all of the lipsticks, various bottles of hair products, random receipts and the unnecessary collection of sunglasses.

Nessie smacks my hand out of the way and reaches inside, pushing some objects aside before retrieving a small foil square. I'm relieved that she found one.

I toss her purse back onto the floor and then slide my hands up her skirt, tucking my fingers into the waistband of her wool tights and tug them down her hips. I sit up on my knees sliding the tights down the rest of the way, off of her smooth legs.

When I glance up at her she is biting her bottom lip in anticipation. She's so fucking hot when she does that.

I glide my fingers back up her thighs, finding her panties under her skirt and tug them down to her ankles where she kicks them off.

"Hey, kids!" Sam yells from downstairs, "you have 10 minutes or we're leaving you behind!"

I look to Nessie for clarification.

"Snowboarding," she replies.

I exhale and hang my head, "should we just go?" I look to the door. Last year Nessie got considerably good at the sport. I know she is excited to get back to it.

Nessie sucks her bottom lip between her teeth again, "we have 10 minutes," she says.

"We'll have to change and put on all our gear," I reply.

"Okay, so we have 5 minutes," she smirks.

"Okay, then," I grin, finding Nessie's hand, placing it where a layer of denim conceals my erection. She rubs me through the denim. I exhale sharply. Nessie moves my loose belt buckle aside and pushes the button of my jeans free and then tugs the zipper down.

I slide my hand up her skirt and touch her to make sure she's ready. Good. She is thoroughly aroused.

Nessie pulls me free from my jeans and boxers. I watch as her petite hands roll the condom on. I never thought I would consider black, glittery nail polish sexy but watching her handle me with her manicured nails is so fucking hot.

I tug the tip of the condom just a little bit to make sure there is enough room and then I push her skirt up and position myself between her legs.

This is always the challenging part.

 _Gentle, gentle, gentle._ I remind myself, listening to her for any sign of discomfort or pain as I guide myself into her slowly.

I remain still, studying her face, waiting for the crease between her brows to disappear and for her body to adjust to my girth.

Rushing this part is a mistake. I was horrified to learn that she was often in pain the day after sex. What an awful feeling to learn you've been hurting your lover doing the most intimate act. Even more mortifying was I had to learn it from Edward. The _father_ of my girlfriend literally told me to take it easy. Awful. He was just about as uncomfortable bringing it up as I was hearing it. And Nessie _insisted_ everything was fine. She was livid with Edward; claimed he was trying to sabotage our love life.

Patrol was awkward right after that. Seth and Winnie had yet to start fooling around; Seth was horrified. Quil basically had the same reaction even though him and Claire are years away from anything like that. Leah was sympathetic, though she did take pleasure in knowing that her and Sam had stopped having sex after he became a wolf. She claims he was quite average when they were together. Embry was an asshole about it, thought it was hilarious. He'll think differently when he finds his other half. He's so immature. We all can't wait for him to imprint so maybe he'll grow the hell up.

I gathered up all my courage and went to my sister for advice. She was nice about it. Didn't tease me. Basically said starting slow and giving her a few seconds to adjust makes all the difference. Even so, for months after that, I refused to even touch Nessie without insane amounts of lubricant.

I remain still, feeling her occasionally contract around me. Not moving takes so much effort. My instincts scream at me to pound into her.

 _Gentle, gentle, gentle._ I remind myself again and continue to observe her face. I nuzzle her neck, affectionately, waiting for her to signal me that it's okay to move.

She nods and I slowly start to move. We both moan at the same time. She feels amazing.

"Faster."

"Already?" I ask, picking up the pace, she usually only starts bossing me around when she is close.

"Five minutes, remember," she grins at me.

"Fuck, I forgot." I had gotten so into the moment that I forgot that this was supposed to be a quickie. Everyone is waiting for us downstairs so we can go snowboarding.

I support my body over her with my arms and push deep inside. A satisfying whimper escapes her lips, so I do it again and again.

"Jacob," she whines, tilting her head back.

I want to strip off all of her clothing. I want to admire her body and feel her skin and kiss her breasts. But we have a time limit. I make a commitment to myself to make love to her properly later.

I'm panting heavily now and grunting with each deep thrust. Nessie wraps her legs around me. She reaches behind her head, gripping the pillow in tight fists.

"Jacob," she moans, "... faster… feels so good..."

 _That's_ what I like to hear. And I agree. It feels fucking amazing.

I squeeze her thigh, moving faster at her request.

"You getting close, baby?" I whisper in her ear. It's almost to the point where it is getting too much for me. I could let go at any second.

"Yes," she whimpers. Her hands release the pillow and tangle within my hair, pulling my mouth down to meet hers.

I kiss her back passionately, going faster now. I'm not worried about losing it before her. If that happens, I can finish her off in other ways. But it feels so amazing when she quakes around me. So I try my best to hold back and wait for her. Ladies first, right?

"Come on, baby," I grunt, keeping up the pace, listening to her panting become more and more rapid until finally she throws her head back.

"JACOB!" she moans loudly.

Hearing her scream my name. Feeling her tighten around me. It's all too much. I release, collapsing on top of her and bury my face in her beautiful copper hair.

Nessie's loud release appears to have inspired some cheering from the guys downstairs. I chuckle and lift my head to see Nessie covering her mouth with both hands, her face turning pink.

I grin, "was it good for you?" I ask, teasing her.

She smiles, putting her palm to my cheek and showing me a night sky illuminated with fireworks.

I laugh softly, "good… get dressed."


	9. Chapter 9

**NESSIE**

I'm happy that we're not fighting anymore.

I couldn't believe he was so ready to get married and put a baby in me. Yikes! Slow your roll, honey. I'm looking forward to a drama-free night.

Our morning romp put Jacob in a really, really good mood for the rest of the day. Morning sex usually does that to him. He can't seem to keep his hands off of me. After spending a considerable amount of time snowboarding, the group decided to go back to the chalet to change so we could go get drinks at the resort's lodge.

"Can you two knock it off!" Embry scolds Jacob and I for making out in the back of the SUV as he drives to the lodge.

"Leave them alone," Winnie defends us, "they're so cute."

"You're just pissed off because you drew the short straw," Jacob says after pulling his lips away from mine.

I chuckle. Poor Embry.

We drew straws to determine who would be the designated driver. Emily would have been the obvious choice because she's pregnant but she wasn't feeling well so she stayed back at the chalet with Sam.

Jacob leans in, pushing my hair aside, "you look so sexy," he mumbles, running his hand up the glittery stockings that cover my thigh. "I can't wait to get you alone, tonight," he blows in my ear.

I giggle.

"Looks like Leah and Roger beat us here," Seth points to the grey sedan where Leah, Roger, Quil and Claire are gathered, waiting for us.

Embry slams on the breaks when he pulls into the parking spot. We all jolt, "we're here," he announces gruffly.

The jolt of the car causes Winnie's seatbelt to snatch, knocking the wind out of her. She chokes, trying to catch her breath.

Seth, who is sitting in the seat ahead of her quickly unbuckles and turns around.

"Are you okay, darling?" Seth asks with wide eyes, swiftly unfastening her seatbelt for her and lightly patting her back.

She coughs, rubbing her chest where the bed had squeezed her, "I'm okay," she manages to get out, breathing in deeply.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Winnie," Embry says getting out of the driver's side and opens the middle door of the SUV.

"You asshole!" Seth tackles Embry to the concrete ground of the parking lot.

"Hey! Hey, hey, hey!" Jacob barks at his two wrestling subordinates.

"Oh shit!" I quickly climb out of the SUV, watching them scuffle. Brady and Collin gather around as well.

"Stop!" Winnie shouts.

Seth gets a good punch in before Jacob comes around the car and yanks him off of Embry, "that's enough!" he growls. Seth attempts to lunge at him again but Jake holds him back, "that's an order!"

Leah laughs, "what's going on here?"

"Just Embry being an idiot and Seth overreacting." Jacob sighs.

"Yeah, man," Embry wipes blood from his lip, getting up from the ground, "what's your problem?"

"What's my problem? My problem is that you're driving like an asshole and you could have hurt Winnie!" Seth growls.

"She's fine," Embry rolls his eyes, "see…" he points to Winnie as she gets out of the SUV

"You don't know that!" he scowls.

"She _looks_ fine. You fine, Winnie?" Embry asks.

"I'm fine," Winnie confirms.

"See," Embry smirks, smugly.

"She's pregnant, you stupid fuck!" Seth shouts.

Everyone is silent.

"Seth!" Winnie shouts. We all look at her, "what are you doing? It's too soon to say anything!"

"I… I'm sorry, Winona," Seth jerks away from Jacob's grip.

"I can't believe you!" she storms off into the lodge. Seth goes after her.

So much for a drama-free night.

My eyes fall to Leah who looks absolutely heartbroken. Another pregnancy announcement. Welp, that's everyone; first Kim then Rachel now Emily and Winnie. Apart from Leah and myself, all the imprints have a baby or are pregnant. And of course, Claire… However, the way she's been looking at Quil, lately, I'm sure it'll happen soon enough. Likely when she reaches an age where it becomes complicated.

Roger wraps his arms around Leah and whispers something into her ear. I don't know what it is but she takes comfort in it, nodding.

"This might be our last year at the chalet, afterall," Jacob says to me.

I nod. Two couples down. If we return next year it could literally be us and the guys. Especially if Leah and Roger end up adopting between now and then.

We all go inside the lodge and try to settle down after the brawl in the parking lot but it's tense. Winnie isn't talking to Seth. Leah is moping while Roger is desperately trying to cheer her up. Brady and Collin got bored and go back to the chalet. Embry is sitting all by himself, icing his face. The only two who are actually having any fun are Claire and Quil and that's only because the lodge installed some old arcade games.

"Having fun yet?" I smile at Jacob and perch on his lap, martini in hand. He's sitting on a leather armchair near the window. We can see the mountains in the moonlight. The snow looks beautiful.

"Everyone is in a mood," he says, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me further onto his lap.

"How's your mood?" I ask him, sipping my martini and offer him some.

He shakes his head, lifting his whisky, "good… why do you ask?"

"Another pregnancy," I shrug.

"You're not ready, love. I already told you that I can wait," he says, taking a sip of his drink.

"And you're not disappointed?" I ask him out of curiosity.

"Do you want me to lie to you?" he asks me.

I shake my head.

"Okay, I am disappointed," he replies, "but I respect your feelings on the matter... so we wait," he says, leaning into my hair. "I should have checked in with you sooner before I let my dreams run wild," he says, picking up a lock of my hair and playing with it between his fingers.

His dreams?

"Tell me about your dreams," I smile. I want to know what he's been daydreaming about.

"A nice big house. Big enough that our family can live comfortably. Not too big that it isn't homey," he elaborates. "A bunch of kids," he smiles, "cute ones, of course."

" _Of course_ ," I smile at him.

"A great backyard so they don't have to go far to play with a fire pit and a pool. A room for all of your instruments so you can compose music to your heart's content in peace… And off on the west side of the house will be a solarium with a glass ceiling where we can lay in hammocks on summer nights and watch the stars."

"Wow," I'm speechless. My heart swells. He's put _a lot_ of thought into this. My stomach flips listening to him describe this future. It makes me realize that maybe I want this future too.

"And when the kids are old enough we'll come here for the winter holidays and they can play with all of their cousins… well, providing that our friends are still having kids when we get around to it," he says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"They're building their families now," he replies, "we'll be considerably behind. The age gap between our kids and theirs will kind of matter if they're going to be friends." he explains.

Oh… I sip my martini and then bite my lip. Maybe we _shouldn't_ wait then…

"What's wrong?" Jacob asks.

"Nothing," I smile at him.

"I know when something is wrong, Ness," he says, looking into my eyes.

"I… I just… Maybe we _shouldn't_ wait," I reply.

"But you're not ready. You _told me_ you're not ready."

"I know but… maybe it's not all about me," I reply.

"Nessie," he sighs.

"No. Listen to me," I inhale, "how much of your life have you dedicated solely to me?" I ask but then continue before he can answer. "Like, fucking all of it… And maybe our kids would be happier if they grew up with a big crew of cousins to play with."

"I don't want you to do anything that you don't want to do, Ness."

"But if it makes you happy then it is exactly what I want to do," I reply, leaning my head down on his shoulder.

"How many of these have you had?" he asks with a smirk, taking the martini from me.

"I'm not drunk," I chuckle, letting him put my drink down on the table.

"Are you _sure_?" he asks, lifting my chin so I have to look at him.

"I'm sure about you. And I'm sure about us," I reply.

That makes him smile and he kisses me tenderly.

"Hey, guys," Roger says interrupting, "sorry," he says when he realises that we were having a moment, "everyone is having a pretty crappy time here… We're going to head back to the chalet," he says.

"Good idea," Jacob says, downing his drink.

* * *

The ride back to the chalet is quiet and awkward. I am convinced that we're going to have a really terrible New Year's Eve… That is until we arrive back at the chalet, unexpectedly early, and catch Sam and Emily going at it on the couch. That lightened the mood. Everyone had a good laugh, apart from Emily. She was pretty embarrassed.

Soon after Brady and Collin arrive back at the chalet with a few boxes of wine, disappointed that they missed the show, of course.

Emily retires to bed. Seth and Winnie go back to their room to talk and the rest of us go outside to ring in the New Year in the hottub.

"I feel like we're outnumbered," Leah says, she leans into my ear and whispers, "there are so many dicks in this water."

"Gross," I laugh. But she is right. Jacob, Roger, Sam, Embry, Collin, Brady and Quil surround us. The hot tub is pretty big but then again so are the guys so Leah and I are both sitting in our respective mate's lap.

Jake looks at me, wanting to know what's so funny. I shake my head. _Nevermind._

"Alright, truth or dare," Collin says, mischievously.

"Fuck off," Leah laughs, "we're not playing that game. Y'all are just waiting for Nessie or I to say ' _dare'_ so that you little perverts can get us to kiss or do some other dirty shit to each other."

I laugh.

"Busted," Jacob chuckles, pointing at Collin who attempts to look innocent. Jake adjusts how I am sitting on his lap so that I am not resting so close to his pelvis. I assume so he doesn't get excited.

"I'd kiss you," I smirk at Leah over the top of my red solo cup that is half full of red wine.

"Let's run away together," Leah grins at me.

"Do you two want to be alone?" Jacob chuckles, shaking his head.

"I'm cutting you off," Roger says, taking Leah's cup away from her playfully but then hands it back to her.

"How about some New Year's resolutions?" Sam offers.

"I know yours" Embry smirks the best he can with the swollen lip that Seth gave him earlier, "locks on doors," he teases Sam.

"You want an eye to match that lip?" Sam glowers at him.

"I know yours" Leah smirks, pointing to Embry, "lose that V card," she teases him for being a virgin.

"I knew it," Brady laughs at him.

"Dude, how old are you?" Collin chokes on his wine.

"Okay, okay… settle down," Jacob says to the younger members of the Uley pack.

Embry is visibly pissed that Leah let that one slip.

"Oh, cheer up, buttercup," Leah grins, "maybe this will be the year that you find that special someone. Then maybe you can finally get laid and stop being such an irritable asshole all the time."

"Fuck you, Leah," Embry growls.

"Kids," Jacob warns them.

"Loser," Leah continues.

"Leah," Jacob sighs.

"Bitch," Embry scowls.

"Embry!" Jacob scolds.

Leah snorts, "virgin much?"

"Barren much?" Embry shoots back. The moment that the words fly out of his mouth it is evident that he regrets them by the expression on his face.

My hand comes up to my lips to hide my gaping mouth. I cannot believe he just said that. I look over to Leah. She looks stunned. Defeated. She is completely without words.

"Embry, dude," Quil says, shocked.

"Leah I-" Embry begins.

"Get out of here right now," Jacob growls at Embry, "start running and don't you fucking stop until the sun comes up."

Embry nods, "I'm sorry, Leah," he apologises. He runs off, phasing and disappears into the night upon Jacob's orders.

It's uncomfortably silent.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asks Leah.

"Yeah," she nods. Roger holds her tightly.

"That wasn't cool. He's not done being punished," Jacob says.

"No!... Just… drop it," Leah shakes her head, "I provoked him. I should have stopped. It's my fault."

"There's no excuse for that," Roger scowls.

"Look… I think we all tend to gang up on Embry. Even bully him a little. We forget that he doesn't have anyone… Not like we do," she says looking to Roger.

Jacob nods, acknowledging her point of view.

"What were we doing before the drama?" Leah looks around, "oh, right… resolutions. I'm going to be nicer to Embry. Your turn," she looks to Roger.

"I'm going to be as forgiving as you are," He says and kisses her cheek.

Collin starts to make vomiting noises in response to his older brother's resolution

"What's your resolution?" Jacob asks, whispering in my ear.

I smile at him. I can only think of one.

I lean back, getting my lips as close to his ear as possible and whisper, "giving you a baby."

He grins at me, "do you want to get started?"


	10. Chapter 10

**JACOB**

**December 24th, 2018**

"I swear to god, Jacob," Nessie huffs at me, "if you don't pull over this car right fucking now!"

"There is nowhere to pull over!" I explain again. We're travelling up the one-way entrance road to the chalet resort. It's a narrow path, barely big enough to drive the SUV through. The exit road is just about the same size. A line of cars are following close behind us. If I stop, the whole procession will come to a halt.

"Jacob!" Nessie shouts.

"Fine!" I press on the breaks, "go."

Nessie hops out of the SUV and doubles over, breathing heavily. She's done this probably about 5 or 6 times on the way here. Says she needs to get out of the car. She's going to be sick... but then nothing happens.

Just as I predicted, the procession of vehicles behind us start honking.

After about a minute of not throwing up, she gets back in the car.

"Sorry," she whispers sheepishly as I begin driving again.

"It's fine," I glance in the rearview mirror and reach an arm out my window, giving an apologetic wave.

"I thought it was for real this time," she sighs.

"It's okay, love," I reply, slipping my hand inside of her unbuttoned coat and affectionately pet her budding baby bump, "how's he doing?"

"Hungry, probably," Nessie replies with a smile.

"You'll feel better after you eat," I promise.

She nods, "Leah texted me. They got bagels."

"I still can't believe they came," I reply.

"I know… Poor Leah. What an awful thing to happen," Nessie sighs, putting her hand over mine as I feel her tummy, "I can't imagine. She got so excited too. They flew out there and everything."

I nod, "it's horrible."

Leah and Roger worked really hard this past year to get on a list of couples available to adopt Native American children in need of families. The program works to adopt out children of Native heritage exclusively to Native families.

In the fall, a pregnant teen in Arizona had come upon their profile and chose them to raise her daughter. Leah went crazy. She finished the nursery in like three days.

In November, near the due date, Leah and Roger got a room at a hotel near the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport. When they finally got the call that the baby was coming, they hopped on a plane and flew out in the middle of the night.

They were waiting for their luggage when Leah got a call from the agency. The teen had changed her mind and decided to keep the baby. Roger told me that Leah was so devastated that she collapsed right there in front of the luggage conveyor.

"I wish there was something we could do," Nessie says, her eyes becoming moist.

"I know, love," I smile at her.

Everything makes her emotional now. It's sweet but also scary. This morning I guess Rosealie said something about how round she's getting so when I came to pick her up she was in the middle of a meltdown. Poor Rose. She looked so guilty.

No, we don't live together yet. My dad still needs my help and Rachel has her hands full with the kids. I offered to have him move in with us when the house is finished but he doesn't want to be a burden. It'd be different if he had someone. Rachel keeps mentioning someone she wants to set him up with but he refuses. Says that Mom is the love of his life; dead or alive. I don't know what we're going to do about him.

When we roll up to the chalet, the drive is packed with SUVs. On the balcony I see Leah and Embry smoking. When I open the car door; I can smell marijuana.

"You better go inside. I don't want you breathing that in," I kiss Nessie's head.

She nods and heads into the chalet.

"You made it!" Leah shouts down at me from up on the balcony.

"Bit early, don't you think?" I smirk up at the two, puffing away.

"Want me to roll you one?" Embry asks.

"Nah, I'm good. Is that legal here?" I ask. I know it is in Washington State. Not sure about BC.

"It's legal in this whole fucking country. Get your butt up here!" Leah shouts.

Leah and Embry are thick and thieves these days. She wasn't kidding last year when she resolved to be nicer to him. He's changed a lot too. I guess we were kind of bullying him a little. His irritability wasn't just his personality. We learned that he was deeply depressed. Acting like a jerk was a mask of sorts. He initially rebelled against the pack when we suggested he get help. Started drinking pretty heavily. Eventually, he did agree to therapy. Started smoking medicinal weed to ease his anxiety. Stopped drinking all together. I hardly recognise him anymore.

I unpack the SUV and bring the bags inside.

"Babe?" I look around for where Nessie went.

Then I see her. Asleep on the couch, near the fire. I smile and go to her, kissing her on the cheek. I pull the throw blanket from the back of the couch over her. She'll nap at any opportunity, lately. The mornings are rough but by the afternoon she'll eat anything and everything. And in the evenings she is insatiable; most nights wanting to go for two or three rounds in bed. I'm not complaining but my dad is getting on my back about the backlog of bikes I'm supposed to fix up. I've been sleeping in and coming in late to compensate for all of the exhaustive nights she's kept me up.

I grab a bagel from the kitchen and head upstairs to the balcony. By the time I get there everyone is either smoking or having a beer. Leah, Roger, Brady, Collin, Embry and Quil. Everyone is laughing their asses off. Apart from Quil.

"Hey," I close the doors behind me, "what's going on?" I take a bite out of the bagel that I now realise is cinnamon raisin. I offer it to Embry.

"Quil's going to jail," Embry teases, taking the bagel from me and shoving half of it into his mouth.

"What?" I'm confused.

"Fuuuuuck... Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," Quil mumbles scrolling through his phone.

"Claire-Bear went to the Dominican Republic for the holidays with a group of her girlfriends. I guess she's posting some racy beach photos on her Instagram," Leah explains.

"D'fuk is this?!" Quil shouts, "15-year-old girls _did not_ look like this when I was in high school!"

I look over his shoulder and laugh, "yeah… she's uh… developed," I reply, attempting to put it in a polite way.

"Yeah! No shit. Thanks, man. I have eyes," Quil glares, "you know there are boys on this little trip?"

"So?" I chuckle, "she's probably posting all these photos for _your_ benefit."

"Really?" he swallows, looking at me.

"Yeah, of course she is," Leah holds out her hand, "give me your phone," she says. Quil just stares at her. She rolls her eyes, taking Quil's phone from his hand when he doesn't immediately hand it over. She starts tapping away.

"What are you doing?" Quil asks.

"Liking all her bikini pics," Leah smirks.

"Leah!" Quil shouts.

I laugh along with the group while Quil's face takes on a red hue.

"And send… there you go," Leah hands the phone back to Quil.

"Send? Wait… what'd you do?" he asks, searching his phone.

"I slid into her DMs," Leah giggles and takes a drag from her joint.

"Oh, man," I laugh, leaning against the rail of the balcony. Brady and Collin are dying of laughter.

Quil's eyes dart to Leah and then he furiously starts jabbing his phone, " _looks hot…_ you wrote ' _looks hot'_?! … are you insane!? You know her parents have all her logins to her social accounts, right? Fucking delete that. How do you delete that?!" he scrambles, jabbing his phone.

"Relax. She's on a beach in the Caribbean. It looks hot there, doesn't it?" Leah grins.

"Ah… I see what you did," I smirk and point to Leah.

Leah points back with a grin, "sneaky, huh?"

"Fuck you," Quil glares, "I'm going to be recieving another one of Mr. Young's man-to-man chats," he scowls.

"Ah, yes. The man-to-man discussion from the future father-in-law," I snort.

"You get those a lot, huh?" Roger chuckles, sipping his beer.

"I've grown numb to them," I laugh.

Edward _always_ wants to pull me aside to discuss this or that. Recently it is Nessie's pregnant and unwed status. Not that he's disappointed that his daughter is becoming a mother but what can I say? I sold the ring I had intended to propose to her with and used the money towards building our dream house. Edward was the one who told me to hold off on the proposal when I wanted to do it almost 2 years ago. And then Nessie changed her mind about wanting a baby. So here we are. I'm going to marry her eventually.

Quil's phone chimes. He looks down.

"What? What'd she say?" Leah asks.

We all hold our breaths. He grins.

"Quil?" I ask.

"She said, ' _81°F, wish you were here'_... and there is a heart emoji," he smiles.

We all cheer for him.

"There you go. Now you can relax," I give him a friendly slap on the back.

"What do I do now?" Quil asks, looking at me.

I glance around. Everyone is looking at me… Oh… I guess I'm the only other one who imprinted on an underage girl.

I inhale, "I dunno… Don't fuck it up, man," I reply. "Don't think she's going to patiently wait until her 18th birthday… But keep it appropriate… But also don't leave it all in her court; it feels safer for you but she'll resent it... Still… don't go too fast too soon either."

"Sounds so complicated," Quil sighs, scrolling through the photos of Claire on the beach again.

"And most importantly, don't play dumb about your feelings or she'll end up with a _revenge boyfriend_ ," I conclude.

"Haha. Rick," Brady grins.

"Who?" Collin frowns, "oh yeah! Rick. The doctor. I totally forgot about that guy. Hey… he didn't _get there_ before you did, did he?" Collin asks me.

I glare at him, "get _where_ exactly?" I dare him to answer me. I know exactly what he's talking about.

"Don't be an asshole, Collin," Embry smacks Collin on the back of the head.

Collin smacks Embry back so he pulls him into a headlock. I shake my head with a smile as the boys scuffle.

I notice that Leah has migrated to a different part of the balcony by herself. She inhales her joint, looking off towards the mountains.

I walk over to her, "how are you?" I ask, "we weren't expecting you to come here this year."

She shrugs, "I needed to get away," she replies, "we stripped down the nursery, donated and returned all the baby's things… it's just an empty room again... but it still feels like it belongs to my daughter," she sighs and then laughs harshly, "it's stupid. I _don't have_ a daughter."

I wrap an arm around her, "it's not stupid… next time will be different," I promise her.

"We don't know that," she replies, taking another drag, "after it happened… the caseworker gave me a link to an online support group for couples who it happened to; when the birth mothers change their mind… it can happen multiple times… 2 or 3 times for some. I suppose we were lucky in a way. We found out at the airport. Some women have the baby in their arms when the birth mother changes her mind," Leah takes in another drag.

"I'm sorry," I don't know what else to say. I feel lucky. Nessie is carrying our baby safe inside her tummy. He's already our's to claim and he isn't even here yet. Our little boy. Our son.

"It is what it is," Leah takes one last drag before throwing the butt off the balcony into the snowbank, "shitty year. Not all was lost. I got my sweet little nephew, Luther. Winnie married Seth, so a sister too."

I nod. It's been a busy year for us too. Rachel had another little girl, Gracie and is already pregnant for a third time; twins, both girls. That's four girls under four. They're due around the time our boy is due. Paul said something about trying one more time for a boy but rumour has it Rach told him that if he ever wants to touch her again he'd better get a vasectomy.

"Is it insensitive of me to ask if you'd consider being our son's godmother?" I ask. I've been afraid to bring this up. "It's not a consolation prize. We discussed it long ago… before everything happened with Arizona."

Leah's head snaps up, "Really?" she smiles, tearing up.

"Really," I nod with a grin, glad that she didn't take offence to the request.

"I would be honoured," Leah throws her arms around me, "of course it isn't insensitive, Jacob," Leah says. "I love you and Nessie. I'm so happy that you're having a baby."

"Thank you," I hug her back.

* * *

"I can't believe Sam and Emily were hogging this room all to themselves," Nessie says, walking around the master suite that Sam claimed every year for him and Emily. It has a giant king-sized bed, flat screen TV and the bathroom adjoined to the room has a jacuzzi tub. "We should do it in that tub," Nessie smirks.

I chuckle at her naughty suggestion. Those pregnancy hormones at work again. "Come here," I reach out my hand for her as I rummage through my travel bag, "I want to give you your Christmas gift," I smile.

"Okay!" Nessie grins, hurrying over to me and taking my hand.

"Here," I hand her an envelope, "so you're not lonely without anything to do while we're on the slopes," I grin and watch her open the envelope. She thumbs through the spa package I arranged for her at the resort. She insisted that I go out snowboarding with the guys even though it's out of the cards for her this year.

"Oh…" Nessie's face transitions from a genuine smile to a fake smile, "... thanks, I'll put it in my purse," she says, taking two steps towards the dresser where her purse is before I pull her back to me.

"Hey... What's wrong? You don't like it?" I frown.

"No.. I mean yes! It's great!" Nessie replies but her big glossy doe eyes give her away.

"Talk to me," I request, I take the envelope and toss it on the bed so I can hold her hands.

"It's stupid," she shakes her head, looking down.

"Let me be the judge of that," I tilt her head up to look at me, "what is it?"

Nessie inhales, "I just… I guess," she presses her lips together, "...I thought you were going to propose," she admits.

Fuck.

I feel the blood drain from my face, "I am!" I say quickly, "I mean, I will…I, I, I plan to," I stutter. My words come out disjointed.

"I'm sorry. This is a lovely gift," Nessie says, holding up the envelope. She stands on her toes and kisses my cheek.

"So… you um... You _want_ to get married now?" I ask, feeling my throat tighten, "what changed your mind?"

Nessie's eyes descend down to her pregnant tummy, "I just figured while we're at it… might be nice if his daddy was married to his mommy."

Of course. I'm an idiot… I thought Edward was just being a dick about getting on my case about not marrying Nessie now that she is pregnant… Now I realize it's likely that he was trying to give me a heads up. This has been on her mind.

Fuck, fuck, fuck... I _shouldn't_ have sold the damn ring to put more cash towards the house.

"If you wanted to get married, why didn't you say something?" I ask after a long silence.

She shrugs, "I don't know. I didn't want to spoil it if you were going to surprise me and… and well… I guess I didn't know I needed to. I thought you'd _want_ to propose to me. It's stupid. Forget I said anything."

"Nessie…" I sigh and get down on one knee in front of her, holding both of her hands in mine.

"Jacob, stop. Get up. What are you doing?" Nessie rolls her eyes

_Knock, knock, knock…_

"You wanted me to propose. I'm proposing," I reply. I glare at the door for a moment and then look back to Nessie.

"I want you to _want_ to do it. Not just do it because I asked you to do it," Nessie says, trying to pull me to my feet.

_Knock, knock, knock…_

"That came out wrong. I _want_ to do this," I assure her.

"Get up!" Nessie pulls at my arms again.

_Knock, knock, knock…_

_Knock, knock, knock…_

I exhale, "what?!" I shout when the knocking becomes too irritating to ignore.

Roger opens the door, "I can't find Leah. Have you seen- Woah," he stops when he realizes what he's walked in on.

I quickly stand, "I dunno where she is," I run my hands through my hair in frustration, grasping a fist full in the back.

"Okay. I need to find her NOW. The adoption agency is on the phone. They have a baby for us but we need to go now!" Roger says, panicked.

I look back at Nessie. Her eyes widen and we both quickly make our way out to the loft.

"Leah!" Nessie shouts over the rail of the loft that overlooks the living room.

"I found her!" Embry shouts up, "she's in the kitchen!"

Roger runs down the stairs as fast as he can. Nessie and I follow.

"What's going on?" Leah laughs at our expressions. She is in her coat helping Collin carry in bags of groceries that were finally delivered.

"Listen. Listen," Roger puts his phone on speaker, "thank you for holding, please start from the beginning."

"Okay," a woman starts speaking, "her name is Sophia. She is almost 7 months old. Up until now, she has been living with her grandmother in Alaska. The grandmother is no longer able to take care of her…"

Leah grabs Roger's arm tightly when she realizes what this call is about.

I look over to Nessie. Her hands are clasped together with a big smile on her face and her eyes full of happy tears. Fuck, I want to marry her.

"A couple was supposed to come to pick her up today but they changed their minds. This is an emergency adoption," the woman explains, "otherwise she'll need to be placed into foster care. She doesn't have any other family."

"Wait. They just changed their minds?" Leah is confused.

The woman sighs, "Yeah… I was getting to that. There was a miscommunication. The little girl was born with a mild case of a condition called Treacher Collins Syndrome. It's characterized by some abnormalities to the bone structure of her face. Mild hearing loss may be an issue down the road. Anyhow, the case was not severe enough to require surgery so I guess it wasn't documented in Sophia's profile."

"So they just didn't _want_ her?" Leah asks, her face full of sadness.

"Unfortunately, that appears to be the case. I understand if you need some time to think about it but-"

"No!" Leah shouts, "she needs us, I'm coming to get her!"

"Great! I just sent an email with all of the details. You'll need to come to Alaska immediately," the caseworker explains.

"We understand," Leah replies, jumping up and down as she squeezes Roger's arm.

"Call me back after you've arranged your travel so we can discuss logistics. Talk soon," the caseworker hangs up.

Roger smiles at Leah, "alright, let's go get our daughter."

Leah bursts into tears, throwing her arms around him.


	11. Chapter 11

**NESSIE**

"Why'd she go in there?" Quil gasps.

"I know, right. She's so dead," I shake my head and spoon some more chocolate chip ice cream into my mouth from the pint.

The TV downstairs is having issues connecting to the satellite dish. So myself, Quil, Embry, Collin and Brady are spread out on the big king-size bed in the master suite, watching horror movies and eating junk food.

After my bath, I returned to the master suite to find four large wolf boys flipping through channels. Good thing I put on my robe and didn't just walk into the room from the ensuite bathroom naked.

Leah and Roger had decided that it was best to take the little girl back home to La Push rather than bring her here. So Jacob drove them to Vancouver so they could fly out to Alaska, pick up their daughter and then fly to Seattle where they will drive back to La Push. I'm going to drive Leah's car home after the new year.

I called Mom and asked if her and Alice could break into Leah's house and put together the nursery before they get back. Leah had returned and donated everything after the teen mom from Arizona had changed her mind. Mom sent me a video of Alice speed-painting the room from pink to lavender. Alice said that she didn't want anything in the room to remind Leah of the other little girl who was almost her's. Sophia deserves everything new. Even her own room colour. So sweet.

"Annnnd… she's dead," Collin shakes his head as the girl in the film gets decapitated.

"Should you be watching this?" Embry asks, glancing up at me from where he is sprawled out on the bed.

"Why? Because I'm pregnant?" I roll my eyes.

"No. Because it's rated R and you're like 13," he teases me.

"Oh, hahaha," I throw a pillow at him. I've been an adult for years but yes, technically have only existed for just over a decade.

The bedroom door swings open. Jacob takes a step inside, his eyes dart between the TV and the bed where all the guys are spread out with bags of chips and cookies, "what the hell is this?" Jacob scowls "out! Now!" he growls, snapping his fingers at them.

Quil and Embry roll off the bed quickly, grabbing the snacks. Collin and Brady follow. Jacob slams the door behind them once they're out.

"That was rude," I say and put the ice cream on the night table.

"Oh well," he mutters, brushing all of the crumbs off the bed and then lays down next to me where I am sitting up against a collection of pillows.

"You're in a mood. What's wrong?" I ask, turning the TV off.

"Nothing," he grumbles, crossing his arms.

I hate when he does this. Instead of just telling me what's wrong I have to pull it out of him.

"I know when something is wrong, Jake," I reply. "Can we just skip the part where I ask you to tell me what's wrong a million times and just go right to the part where you tell me what's wrong?"

He looks at me, silently contemplating, "I fucked up," he finally says.

"What'd you do?" I ask.

He exhales, "It's what I _didn't_ do… I should have fucking proposed to you, Ness," Jacob rubs his face, "it would have been perfect. This place means so much to us and the more I think about it, the more I realise that I missed a big opportunity. We're not going to have a chance to come back here for a while. Not until after the baby is born. Maybe years."

I feel a wave of guilt, "I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sure whatever you were planning would have been perfect. There are other places in our life that mean a lot to us."

"I wasn't planning, though. I wasn't even thinking about it," he turns on his side to look at me.

"Oh… so… you don't want to marry me, then?" I ask. Now I feel _really_ stupid.

"What? Of course, I do… It's just… with the house and the baby and everything. I just thought it was something we could think about later."

"Oh… No. You're right. We have a lot going on. Throwing a wedding into the mix would be too much," I reply.

"I got you a ring," Jacob says softly, "but when I brought up marriage, that time two years ago... you weren't ready…" he inhales deeply, "so I sold it… and I put the cash towards the house," he exhales.

"Oh…" I press my lips together, "sorry."

"And… well. I tried to get you _another_ ring today," he runs his hand over his face again, "after I dropped Leah and Roger off at the airport, I drove around Vancouver but everything was closed or closing. I got to this one jewelry store _just_ as they were closing. Explained that I wanted to buy an engagement ring so they let me in…"

"So you _do_ have a ring?" I'm confused.

"I would have… but I guess Dad used what was left on the company card to acquire more bikes because when I tried to pay for it, the credit card was declined," he flops onto his back from his side and grabs a pillow, placing it over his head.

I can't help but laugh, I pull the pillow off of his face, "I'm so sorry… but, you know, I don't _need_ a ring, Jacob."

"Don't be ridiculous," Jacob says, reaching out to pet my baby bump over my robe, "I'm not going to propose to you _without_ a ring."

I rest my hand over his, "it seems silly to let a tiny piece of metal hold us back."

"If we go back home engaged without a ring, I'll never hear the end of it from my dad" he rolls his eyes.

"I could lend you the money?" I offer with a smile.

He scoffs, "you might as well just _chop_ my balls off."

"Jacob!" I laugh.

"Sorry," he apologizes for being crude, "I just… I feel like I've disappointed you. And I want to get you a ring. And I don't want you to have to lend me the money. I have it… it's just all tied up in the business and the house, right now," he explains.

"Jacob…" I sigh. I feel horrible. He's all torn up about this and it's my fault, "we can wait to get engaged."

"But you want-"

"I want you to be happy about proposing to me. This isn't happy. You're a mess," I reply.

"But you're-"

"It doesn't matter," I reply before he can finish. "I can wait until you're ready to do it. You weren't even thinking about proposing before I brought it up. Yet today you were driving around Vancouver in a panic on Christmas Eve trying to buy a ring on a maxed out credit card," I laugh.

"I hate that I disappointed you," he pouts, dramatically.

"I have never, in my life, been disappointed by you, Jacob Black," I reply with a grin and lean down to kiss him.

Jacob lifts himself up on his elbows to meet me halfway, kissing my lips.

"What about the time I fucked up that New Year's kiss?" he cocks a brow, tracing his fingertips over my baby bump.

"Why'd you have to bring _that_ up?" I frown, "are you trying to put me in a mood too?" I reply.

Jacob chuckles, "no. Please remain well-mooded," he replies, taking my hand and kissing it, "... I _am_ going to marry you… you know that, right?"

"I have no doubts," I reply and watch as he flips my hand over, kissing tenderly along my palm, wrist and up my forearm. I exhale softly, "that feels nice," I whisper.

He continues the trail of kisses along my forearm until he reaches the inside of my elbow and then he trails his lips back to my wrist. These innocent kisses electrify me. That has been my life, lately. All of these intense pregnancy hormones have me wanting him at seemingly random times for nonsensical reasons. The other day I got turned on watching him study one of his motorcycle repair manuals while I was packing for this trip. I noticed how large his hands looked in comparison to the book. Then my eyes wandered his arms and chest and before I knew it I was fantasizing about abandoning packing for something a little more recreational.

Jacob's lips part from my wrist and he brings my palm to his face, holding it close but not touching. His eyes find mine, seeking permission to see my private thoughts.

I grin at him and shake my head no.

"Why not?" he asks.

"Your ego will explode," I laugh softly.

Jacob smiles and sets my hand down, respecting my wishes to keep my private thoughts private, "wouldn't want that," his eyes wander to the night table where the half eaten pint of ice cream sits, "that's not dinner is it?" he asks.

I follow his gaze, "no. I already ate." The owner of the chalet had installed a BBQ on the balcony so the guys made steak.

"Okay," he pecks my lips, "I didn't, so I'm gonna go downstairs and put something together. Will you join me or are you done for the day?" he asks, knowing that I get tired earlier now.

"I think I'll stay here and get some sleep," I yawn, it's not that late but I am so tired. Being pregnant takes a lot out of you. Even if you don't exert much energy during the day.

"Alright, love," he reaches past me and picks up the pint of ice cream, "back in the freezer?"

"One more bite?" I smile innocently.

Jacob chuckles and spoons out some semi-melted ice cream and feeds it to me, "brush your teeth."

"Okay, Dad," I tease, rolling out of bed and excuse myself into the adjoined bathroom to brush my teeth. By the time I return to the bedroom Jacob has already gone downstairs so I turn off the lights and go to sleep.

The next time I wake up it is around midnight and it's because the guys are being loud downstairs. I grumble, rolling out of bed and walk out of the master suite to the loft. I glance over the rail at Jacob, Quil, Embry, Brady and Collin in the living room below laughing and talking. There are a few open bottles with a bunch of shot glasses around. Looks like they're having a party.

"Hey, boys!" I shout over the rail. "Someone is sleeping up here!"

"Sorry, love!" Jacob shouts back up at me, "lower the volume, guys."

I roll my eyes and go back to bed. They're quieter for probably about 20 minutes or so but then eventually go back to being loud and rowdy. I feel bitter. I didn't realize how much it would irk me to be the only one unable to participate in the fun.

Despite the disturbance, I'm eventually able to drift off to sleep.

The next time I wake it's because of Jacob stumbling around in the darkness of the bedroom. It's quiet. I guess everyone finally went to bed.

"Fuck," he mutters as he walks into a dresser. He eventually finds his way to the bathroom where I hear the faucet running and him brushing his teeth. I flip my phone over; 2:03 AM. Seriously? He's up all night drinking with the guys… I mean… we are on a vacation, it's not like he ever does this at home… but I can't help but feel the hot pang of injustice. I'm doing all the work with the pregnancy and he is carrying on like a college kid at a frat party. I roll my eyes and flip my phone back on its screen side.

The faucet turns off. The door of the bathroom creaks. Footsteps. I feel the mattress shift and hear the rustling of sheets as Jacob gets into the bed.

I slide my arm under the cool pillow, close my eyes and make an effort to return to sleep when I feel Jacob migrate to the center of the bed. He inhales deeply the way he always does when he is consuming my scent. He smells like whiskey.

Jacob's rough fingertips gently push my hair aside and he kisses my neck with his scorching lips.

I sigh; uh oh. He's going for the neck.

His lips settle in behind my ear, kissing slowly and driving me crazy. My determination to be bitter about being stuck out of the fun is dissolving. Jacob nudges in closer, pressing against my back.

"That feels nice," I whisper.

He spends a gratifying length of time kissing and nuzzling behind my ear. I am so wrapped up in how amazing his kisses feel that I don't even notice that his hand has descended from my neck to the opening of my robe until I feel his large hand knead my breast. Jacob's thumb repeatedly brushes over my nipple.

I arch my back in an attempt to relieve the knot of arousal deep inside. My rear pushes into his erection and a soft groan escapes his lips. He squeezes my hip, pulling me harder against him.

I lean my head back to look at him. The moonlight illuminates his face. His expression is intense, lustful and animalistic; almost dangerous if I didn't love and trust him completely.

I grind against him, "it's late," I whisper and turn my head back to face the wall.

"I know… I couldn't help myself," he whispers against the back of my neck. Jacob hisses in response to my grinding, "fuck," his hand returns to my breast; he grips tightly.

"Careful," I warn him, wrapping my hand around his wrist. My breasts are tender.

"Of course," he whispers, loosening his grip. His hand leaves my breast. The backs of his fingers graze down my abdomen. He lightly rests his palm upon my budding baby bump and presses delicate kisses against my shoulder, "I appreciate you," he mumbles.

I chuckle softly, that's not something I'm used to hearing during foreplay, "um… thanks?"

"I know none of this pregnancy stuff is easy," Jacob continues between kisses on my back and shoulder. "You're doing so good," he whispers against my skin, "and you look so beautiful."

My heart melts. Okay, now I absolutely cannot be mad at him.

I pull my arms out of the sleeves of my robe and then shift so I can remove it completely. I settle back down against him. Jacob returns his lips to the back of my shoulder, his rough palm runs up and down my torso, sweeping over my breasts and then descending to squeeze my hip.

I reach behind me, releasing him from his boxers and position him right where he needs to be. Jacob moans softly at my touch, I can feel exactly how aroused he is. His hand snakes around my body and he touches me the way he always touches me to make sure that I am thoroughly aroused. I am.

Jacob takes over, removing my hand and slowly guides himself into me. I lean my head back against his shoulder and close my eyes.

 _Relax. Just relax._ I remind myself

The stretching sensation always makes the first few seconds uncomfortable but it is short-lived. Like a gentleman, Jacob waits for me to signal him. He remains completely still inside of me.

Jacob kisses along my jaw and cheek, he slides one arm between me and the mattress and rests his hand lightly upon my breasts while his other hand expertly pleasures me.

"Feels so good," I whisper.

"Me touching you?" he asks softly.

"All of it," I mutter. Him touching me, kissing me, filling me; everything. I exhale, feeling my body tighten around him, relax and then tighten again, adjusting to his girth. "Okay," I whisper, letting him know that he can move.

Jacob begins a gentle rhythm. We both moan at the same time.

It's not long before he is thrusting into me with more zeal. His hand moves from pleasuring me to gripping my thigh, pulling my leg up a little bit so he can go deeper and faster.

"Renesmee," he moans against the back of my neck.

I gasp, taking pleasure in how aggressive he's being. Since becoming pregnant, he has been so gentle in bed. Not tonight, though. It's probably the whiskey.

"Don't stop," I moan.

"Please stop!" Brady yells from the other room.

Jacob laughs against the back of my neck. I feel my face become hot. Are we being loud? Can everyone hear us?

"It's okay, love," he whispers, maybe sensing my embarrassment.

Soon I am too distracted to care who can hear us when Jacob's fingers return to pleasuring me, moving rapidly between my thighs, pulling me closer and closer to my release as he thrusts into me faster and faster.

"Jacob," my voice trembles and I'm unable to control my panting.

Jacob grunts softly with each rapid thrust. His chest feels slick against my back. Sweat; both mine and his. Mostly his. I'm not doing much work here.

Soon the build starts and I tip closer and closer to the edge. Then in a burst of pleasure, my release takes over and fills me with euphoria. My limbs are light. My head is fuzzy. My whole body tingles.

Almost immediately after, I detect Jacob's release; I am filled with warmth. His moans are muffled by my shoulder against his mouth. I lean my head back and am met with hungry lips, kissing me passionately as he rides out the wave of pleasure.

Eventually, the kisses turn soft and loving as we rest in each other's arms.

"I love you," I whisper against his lips.

"I love you too, darling," he whispers in return. I can feel him smiling against my lips.

"Merry Christmas?" I grin, realizing that it is, in fact, Christmas morning.

"Mmm, was that my gift?" he asks, nuzzling my neck.

I chuckle, "don't be absurd."

"What'd you get me?" he asks, kissing along my neck.

"I'm not ruining the surprise," I sigh, tilting my head to the side for him, "you know, I _just_ took a bath."

"And now you're all dirty again," he chuckles, "whoops… how was the tub?"

I grin. I know what he's thinking, "I already googled it… it's probably not the best to be fooling around underwater right now."

"Next time," he replies, his hand finding its way to my small baby bump.

"I wonder if Leah has her baby yet," I rest my hand over his.

"I don't think so," he replies, "I think they're just getting there now and will probably get her in the morning," he says and pulls me tightly against him, "I'm so happy."

"Me too," I smile, "this means everything to Leah and Roger."

"No. That's not what I meant," Jacob whispers, "I mean… Of course, I'm happy for them. I meant that I'm happy with you. Our baby. Our life. I know it's not perfect right now… living apart and not married. But the house will soon be finished and our son will be born this spring."

I smile, "It's going to be a lot of work."

"We can handle it."


	12. Chapter 12

**Jacob**

**December 30th, 2024**

"I can't handle this, Jacob!" Nessie shouts from the back row of seats of the SUV we own.

I buckle our son into his car seat. He's 5 now. We're an hour away from getting to the chalet and the entire morning has been chaos.

"I'm hungry, Daddy," AJ whines.

"I know, buddy," I reply. "You'll get something to eat... What's going on, love?" I ask Nessie.

We're parked outside of a Tim Hortons just beyond the US/Canada border so I could take AJ inside to use the bathroom and so Nessie could feed Sarah and change her diaper in the back of the SUV.

"The second I opened her diaper she decided to pee," Nessie mutters, wiping down the backseat with paper towels.

I chuckle, "could be worse. Remember when that would happen with AJ?"

At least when that happens with Sarah the pee has only one direction to go. With AJ it was unpredictable.

Nessie huffs, "don't remind me," she says getting the baby girl dressed again.

"I'm hungry," AJ repeats himself.

"I know, AJ. I heard you the first time," I reply.

"You didn't get food?" Nessie asks, passing Sarah to me over the furthest seats so I can strap her into her car seat behind us. The baby giggles excitedly at being passed to me. I smile at her.

"No," I reply, strapping Sarah in, "I didn't want to force AJ to stand in front of the display case of donuts and cookies for 10 minutes before ordering him a bagel. We can go through the drive-through."

"Hm, good call," Nessie says, gathering up the dirty diapers and wipes into a bag, " Actually, I'm going to run inside to use the bathroom. I'll just grab breakfast on the way out," she says, giving me a quick peck and then runs inside.

"Daddy?" AJ asks.

"What is it, buddy?" I ask, preparing for another ' _I'm hungry'._ I make sure Sarah's seat straps are properly positioned so she doesn't get fussy.

"Why is grandpa Billy old and grandpa Eddie not?" he asks.

Crap.

I stare at him, "... don't you want to know where babies come from or something?"

"I know where babies come from," AJ replies.

"Oh, yeah?" I smile, "tell me, Arthur Jacob"

"Mommy swallowed an apple seed and the baby grew in her tummy until Mommy pooped her out," AJ replies, confidently.

I burst into laughter, "okay, watch your show," I put the noise-cancelling headphones over his ears and set up the Spiderman cartoon on his tablet that he has been watching nonstop lately.

I slide into the driver's seat and lean my head against the headrest so I can rest my eyes. We knew that this was going to be a challenge. Nessie wanted to wait until next year. Sarah would be almost 3. AJ would be 6. But everyone made plans to come here for New Years and I didn't want to miss out. Besides, we'll have so much help. And I'm going to propose. Finally...

I should have done it sooner. Much sooner. But life got really busy and we talked about getting married and then Nessie got pregnant again. Whoops. So here we are.

Recently, Nessie had tasked me with getting all of the passport documents together for us and the kids. I had all of the papers in front of me...

Black, Jacob  
Black, Arthur Jacob  
Black, Sarah Isabella  
Cullen, Renesmee Carlie

It felt wrong. We had built this beautiful family and on paper, it was like Ness wasn't even a part of it.

Then one night, two weeks ago, Sarah got a UTI so we took her to the ER because it was late and the clinic was closed. The nurse kept calling me _Mr. Black_ and Nessie _Miss. Cullen._ Bothered the crap out of me. Ness couldn't figure out why I was in such a bad mood that entire night.

The next day I got my ass out to Seattle with $10K in cash and asked the associate at a jewelry store for the biggest fucking rock I could buy with $10K. Turns out that $10K doesn't buy much. I spotted a large oval diamond on a dainty gold band and asked how much it was. $32K… I had to move some money around but I got it for her. I think it might be too much. Nessie doesn't even wear jewelry. Apart from the diamond _love_ necklace, I got her years ago. She'll just have to get used to it.

I check the rearview mirror to make sure the kids are okay.

Sarah is sleeping. We named her after Mom. Nessie let me choose the name and I couldn't think of any other. The baby girl has a round face, dark skin and black hair like mine. She has her mother's brown eyes.

AJ is short for Arthur Jacob. Nessie wanted to name him after me but I insisted that he has his own first name. She settled on Arthur because, at the time, I had been reading King Arthur tales to her belly and the name just felt right. He has dark skin, a little bit lighter than Sarah's, deep brown hair and big green eyes. We think he got them from Edward. Carlisle said he remembered Edward having green eyes before he changed.

The passenger side door opens.

"Large black for Black," Nessie smiles, handing me a large black coffee.

"You're an angel," I reply and take the paper cup. I admire her beauty; messy copper curls bunched up inside the hood of the sweatshirt she stole from me that she is wearing over a pair of black leggings. I can't wait. Tomorrow at midnight. The clock will strike and I will ring in the new year on one knee with a ring. I grin.

"I know," Nessie replies and puts her medium double-double in her cup holder and then leans over the seat, getting AJ set up with his bagel and orange juice.

I smirk and take the opportunity to squeeze her butt while she is occupied getting AJ's bagel unwrapped for him.

"Um, excuse me," Nessie laughs and playfully bumps me with her hip.

"What'd I do to deserve you?" I smile at her when she sits back down in her seat.

She smiles at me, pulling her hood down and fixes her hair, "you're up to something... what do you want?" she grins, suspicious of my adoration. She sips her coffee.

"Nothing," I shrug and start the car. I better tone it down before she suspects something and ruins the surprise. "Hey, when you get a chance, ask AJ where he thinks babies come from," I grin.

Nessie frowns as she gulps down her coffee, "oh no, he didn't tell you his apple seed theory, did he?" she asks as she buckles her seat belt.

I laugh.

Nessie rolls her eye, "I don't know whether or not to leave it or tell him something a bit more factual before he runs off to school and tells his friends that Mommy pooped out his sister cause she swallowed an apple seed," she shakes her head, jabbing at her phone.

"Who are you texting?" I ask, as I pull back out onto the road, "you've been tapping at your phone all morning"

"Oh… Quil is proposing to Claire. I'm helping him coordinate," Nessie replies.

I feel the blood drain from my face.

"He is?" I swallow.

"Yeah," Nessie smiles, "tomorrow morning he wants to take her to that rest stop at the top of the summit that overlooks the whole valley and resort. So romantic. I had no idea Quil was that sweet," Nessie sighs dreamily. "I'm tasked with taking her to get her nails done so that her hands look good in pictures… Oh, yeah. FYI, I'm leaving you with the kids today so we can go get our nails done," she grins.

"I see…" I grit my teeth.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

"What?" Nessie asks, probably sensing my frustration, "don't worry, hun, the kids will be too busy playing with their cousins to be much trouble."

"Sure," I reply.

I had decided to propose two weeks ago. Quil and Claire had gone out of town for Christmas. Of course, he doesn't know about my plans. Well, this throws a wrench in everything. Not only is Quil going to propose before me but his plans are like ten times romantic than what I came up with.

"He didn't mention it," I clear my throat. "That's great."

Yeah. Great. Just fucking great.

* * *

We are among the first to arrive at the chalet. Apart from Claire and Quil. Leah and Roger were just behind us with their daughter Sophia and their 1-year-old, Harry. They adopted a newborn about a year ago. Thankfully, it worked out and the birth mother did not change her mind this time.

Embry and Bijou are building a snowman outside with Bijou's son. Oh, right. Embry imprinted.

Claire has an uncle who had moved to Montreal after meeting his wife in the military years and years ago. When his wife died a few years back, he decided to return to Washington state with his daughter who, at the time, was pregnant. Mr. Wright, Bijou's father, just thought it would be easier for his 17-year-old daughter to be a single mother in the small community where he grew up than in Montreal. They were there for one day. One day! Embry was working part-time as a mover. He saw her and that was that. Mr. Wright thought he was nuts; who gets involved with a girl who is nearly 9 months pregnant? Embry signed Harmon's birth certificate and then married Bijou as soon as she could fit into her mother's wedding dress.

He's absolutely crazy about this girl. We tease Embry mercilessly. He's learning french because it's Bijou's first language and she speaks it to Harmon. Embry was working really hard to get the language down. One time we were all hanging out and he accidentally slipped between languages and called a meat platter a _charcuterie_. Everyone thought it was hilarious. Apart from Nessie who thought we were all being rude.

It's almost noon by the time the rest start arriving with their kids. Nessie and the girls head out to the nail place. The older kids are all playing outside while the younger ones go down for naps after lunch. I pull Quil aside.

"You're proposing to Claire," I whisper.

"Yeah," he grins, "I'm nervous."

"You can't propose to Claire. I'm proposing to Nessie," I reply.

"No way, man. No!" he shakes his head, "I'm not cancelling my plans."

"Come on, Quil," I plead.

"Dude, you've had 8 years to propose to Nessie. It's not my fault that you dragged your feet," Quil says defensively, "propose to her anyways. Why do I have to cancel my plans? Look, I got a ring and everything," he says taking out the small antique ring with a petite diamond centred between 4 tiny little diamonds."

"I got a ring too, man," I pull out the velvet box and show him the large oval diamond on the dainty gold band.

"What the fuck?!" Quil's eyes bulge, "dude, you got Nessie a boulder and I got Claire a pebble. No. Not even a pebble. It's fucking-... I dunno, fucking dust! You cannot propose to Nessie with _that_ during this trip. You're going to make me look like a chump!"

I close the box and put it back into my pocket, "please, man," I try to reason with him, "can't you just wait?"

Quil exhales, "I'm sorry. I can't. Too many people already know… Please don't do this to me. Think of Clairebear. This moment is supposed to be special for her. Don't cast a shadow over her moment with that giant rock," Quil pleads.

I clench my jaw. Fuck, fuck… FUCK!

"Fine," I sigh, "fine. I'll figure something else out," I exhale.

"Really? Thanks, man! Thanks!" Quil hugs me and then quickly grabs his and Claire's bags and starts to haul them up the stairs, "hey! Paul! Screw you. Get out of there. The master suite is mine and Claire's. We already agreed to that!"

So much for that.


	13. Chapter 13

**Nessie**

"I think I'm in trouble, guys," I suck in air through my teeth as I scroll through a bunch of text messages from Jake and two calls that I missed.

When we arrived at the nail salon it was packed. I guess we weren't the only ones showing up for a fresh manicure the day before NYE. I texted Jacob to let him know that we had about an hour wait before they'd take us. He said that it was cool and to let him know when I was heading back.

Once we were finished with our nails we weren't ready to return to the chaos back at the chalet with all the kids so we went to the lodge for drinks and nachos.

I scroll through the messages.

 **Jacob:** how's it going?  
 **Jacob:** hey, how much longer?  
 **Jacob:** hey, I can't find Sarah's bag  
 **Jacob:** are you coming back?  
 **Jacob:** I need help here!  
 **Jacob:** hello?  
 **Jacob:**?  
 **Jacob:**?  
 _Missed call: Jacob Black  
Missed call: Jacob Black_

Leah looks down at my phone, "damn, tell Jake to chill. Can't you have a drink with the girls in peace?"

I smile and shake my head, "I guess not. Excuse me," I tell Leah. I grab my wine and get up from our table and walk over to one of the leather chairs by the windows that overlook the mountains and call Jacob.

He picks up on the first ring, "how the hell long does it take to paint you fucking nails?" Jacob snaps at me.

"Excuse me?" I blink.

Jacob takes a deep breath, "I'm sorry," he apologises, "I can't find Sarah's bag. She spit-up all over her outfit. It's not in our room. I checked the SUV. I checked the hallway. I checked to see if Rach took it by mistake… it's not here."

I bite my lips and try to remember where I saw it last, "fuck," I sigh, "I know exactly where it is," I groan. "I put it down on the floor of the garage when I took AJ back inside to use the bathroom."

In true AJ fashion, he waited until he was all strapped into his car seat to inform me he had to use the bathroom. He claimed it was an emergency so I tossed Sarah's bag on the garage floor and ran him inside… His definition of an emergency needs to be adjusted.

"Oh no. Ness…" he sighs.

"I'm sorry," I reply, "I didn't do it on purpose."

"What do you suggest we do?" he asks, "she has diapers and a snowsuit."

"The chalet has a washer/dryer, did you wash the outfit she spit up on?" I ask, taking a sip of wine.

"It's in the dryer," he replies and lets out a long exasperated sigh.

"Okay, you seem to be really stressed out over some clothing. Yes, I screwed up but it's fine. We'll buy her a few new things for the week. Is something else wrong?"

"... No, everything is fine," he says.

I don't believe him. Something is definitely up. He was so cheerful this morning and now he's snapping. It reminds me of when we took Sarah to the ER two weeks ago for that UTI. He was fine on the way there and then something changed and he was all grumpy for the rest of the night.

"Okay…" I don't push it, "once Sarah's outfit is dry, change her into it and bring her to the lodge and we'll get her some new things from the village."

"You're at the lodge?" he asks, his voice is flat.

I clench my jaw. His tone get's to me.

"The girls wanted drinks and food. What is it? Am I not allowed to have an afternoon out or something?" I ask, my calmness is wearing thin. I glance over at the table of girls who are drinking and chatting apart from Leah who is looking in my direction with concern on her face.

"I just like to know where you are, Ness," he replies.

"Why don't you just chip me with a GPS? That way you'll _always_ know my coordinates," I grumble.

"Are we fighting right now?" he asks.

"Text me when you get here," I hang up.

I head back to the table.

"Guess who forgot their daughter's luggage back home and now has to buy a week's worth of new clothing?" I announce to the table and as I sit down. I stuff my mouth with a couple of nacho chips.

"At least you didn't forget a whole child," Rachel mumbles, with a straw in her mouth from her gin and tonic.

"You have five kids, Rach," Winnie replies, "we forgive you."

Rachel and Paul were backing out of the drive this morning when Rachel noticed that her second oldest, Gracie, was not in the van.

"I need a vacation," I mumble, finishing off my glass of wine.

"We're on vacation, hun," Leah laughs.

"I need a _childless_ vacation," I clarify.

Leah, Bijou, Winnie, Rachel and Emily collectively sigh at the idea and then laugh. Claire looked around at us, confused. She'll understand someday.

"Don't you have someone to watch the kids for an evening or something so you and Jake can just hang out?" Bijou asks.

I stare at her, "no… not really. Billy isn't mobile enough to take care of the kids. My family are all in Scotland right now. Charlie is on duty most nights and I'm not going to just throw the kids at Sue."

Leah presses her lips together. Sue usually takes care of baby Harry during the day and picks up Sophia in the afternoon to watch before Leah and Roger get off work. She's way too busy to take my kids.

"So you don't get _any_ breaks? None at all?" Emily asks.

"No… I guess not," I shrug.

"But then how do you… uh, I mean, how do you, um… Find time to... you know?" Winnie asks.

I suspect she's asking me how our sex life is. I'd be lying if I said it was robust these days.

"I should hurry up and get a second drink before Jacob gets here," I say, dodging the question. I don't see a waiter anywhere nearby. "You know what, I'll just go to the bar."

I walk over to the bar and sit down, relieved to get away from that conversation. I order a glass of chilled dry white wine and place my phone on the bar so I can see when Jacob texts when he gets here.

I _knew_ I was forgetting something. It's so hard sometimes… If I had packed the SUV last night, like I was planning to, we'd be fine. But AJ needed help with his puzzle and then Sarah needed a bath. Jacob wanted to change the tires on the SUV so I had to do the whole bedtime routine by myself. And because he was going to be driving for 7hrs, Jake went to bed early as soon as he was done with the tires. But the kitchen was a mess and I couldn't just leave dirty pots and pans to grow mold while we're at the chalet so I cleaned the kitchen. The next thing I knew it was 11:30 PM, so I just went to bed. I hardly got any sleep and before I knew it, it was 4:00 AM and I was trying to get two sleepy kids ready for the road while packing the SUV and making sure the house was all locked up and secure.

I really wish we would have waited until next year to do this trip. The kids are such a handful at this age.

I am almost finished with my white wine when I see Jacob come into the dining area with Sarah. I glance down at my phone. He was supposed to text when he got here. He comes over to me.

"Hey… your nails look nice," he says softly, looking down at my glittery taupe nails, "I'm sorry for how I was on the phone," he says, apologising for snapping at me.

"I thought you were going to text me when you got here," I exhale and start to dig through my wallet for my credit card to pay for my drink. I'm not really in the mood to accept his apology. I just want to buy Sarah her clothing and go back to the chalet.

"Leah called. Said to come inside," Jacob swallows. His expression is strained, observing my aloofness toward his apology.

"Hey!" Leah quickly makes her way over to us.

"What's going on?" I look to Leah and hand my credit card to the bartender.

"So… first of all… Gimme this one," she says, taking Sarah from Jacob and props the baby up on her hip. "The girls and I were chatting and we have all decided that you two need a break. So we pooled some cash together and got you a suite here at the lodge," she says handing a key card to Jacob.

"What? Why?" Jacob looks confused, holding onto the white card hanging off of a silver keychain shaped like a mountain.

"Because you need it," Leah says, "so… give me your car keys," Leah says taking the keys to the SUV from Jake's hand, "we'll take Sarah to grab some new clothing and then watch her and AJ for the night so that you two can have some time to yourselves."

"This really isn't necessary," I look to Leah and then to Jacob whose face has turned desperate.

"Nessie, don't be a hero," Jake replies, pocketing the key card and then hugs Leah, "thank you."

Leah chuckles and hugs him with one arm, holding Sarah up on the other, "now, we've only covered the suite for the night. Your check-out time is tomorrow before noon. If y'all want room service you need to leave your credit card with the front desk."

"Save the receipts for Sarah's new clothing," I tell Leah.

Leah grins and then motions to the girls. "Come on, ladies. Let's go!" Leah starts to leave with the girls who are all giving me little grins.

I feel my cheeks become warm.

"Have fun… but like _sexy-time_ _fun_ not _baby-making_ _fun_ cause I think y'all got your hands full already," Leah winks as she backs away with the crowd of girls.

"Hell of a wing man you got there," I compliment Jake. Leah's going to all sorts of trouble to help Jacob get some.

"Yeah…"


	14. Chapter 14

**Warning. This chapter is a little heavy on the drama.**

* * *

**Jacob**

Nessie gasps and moans, bucking her hips as she climaxes with my face buried between her thighs. After she settles I attempt to come up above the blankets for air but her hand pushes against my head.

"No, no, no," she pants, "keep going!"

"Oh… Again? Okay," I grin. It's so hot when she gets bossy like this. She can order me around all she wants. I love it.

I return to pleasuring her. Listening as her panting becomes more and more manic. I gently push a finger inside and press up against that soft spot as my tongue works against her.

"Oh…" she inhales, "... Jacob," she whispers as she exhales.

Nessie has no reservations about telling me exactly what she desires in bed. I know her body well. What she likes; lots of constant small steady movement, usually with my tongue... Just a little bit of pressure on the inside. What she doesn't like; too much going on all at once... and being touched behind her knees, she's very ticklish there and _hates_ being tickled.

"... Touch me harder," she moans.

Nessie's panting soon turns into gasping. I know she's close. I obey her demands, pressing my finger into her harder, dragging it back and forth. She moans loudly and soon I feel her quiver.

"Jacob!" Nessie cries out for a second time. I slide my finger out of her and grab her hips, forcing her to be steady as I pleasure her through her waves of ecstasy.

But this time I don't stop. I keep going.

"No!" she giggles, "stop… you can stop!" she breathes heavily.

I cease pleasuring her and return to her side. I grin at her. I love how her face glows after being pleasured; her lips are swollen and her cheeks flushed. Satisfied eyes.

We wasted no time. As soon as the girls left we just looked at each other and rushed off to an elevator. Had sex cuddled a bit and then had sex again. Nessie wanted to go out for dinner rather than order room service because it's been so long since we had a real date. However, she said she didn't feel like she was dressed nice enough for dinner at the lodge downstairs so we made a reservation at a sports bar just across the park from the lodge which works out because it happens to be next to a pharmacy where I can grab more condoms. I am far from finished with her for the night.

They said that our reservation would be ready for us in an hour. With time to kill and no more condoms left in Nessie's purse, we've been doing this for the past half hour.

I lift my arm and Nessie snuggles in against my side with her head on my chest.

"You good?" I ask.

"Mmhm," she smiles up at me so I tenderly kiss her lips.

"It's been a while," I mumble and hold her tightly.

Nessie breathes in deeply, "I know," she replies, "we're busy."

"Are we really _that_ busy that we can't manage a little-" I cut myself off when I see Nessie's face. I chuckle, "what? What's that face?"

"99% of the time I come to bed you're already sleeping," Nessie replies.

"You know, you can always wake me up if you want some-"

Nessie laughs, "I'm supposed to wake _you_ up? I can barely get you to roll over to your side of the bed when you're passed out."

"Fair," I reply and kiss her head, "when's Sarah starting school?" I chuckle.

"The year after next," Nessie chuckles, "should I pencil you in for some sexy-time in 2026?"

"Yes please," I play with her hair, "but let's get some time in between now and then too."

"Deal," Nessie says and sits up, "I should shower before dinner."

"Would you like some company?" I ask, my eyes scanning her body as she gets out of the bed and claims a white robe that the hotel provided for us.

"It's going to be cold. I don't want to ruin my manicure," Nessie warns.

I grimace, "I think I'll just shower after you," I reply. I haven't taken a cold shower since Nessie was very pregnant with Sarah and kicked me out of the bedroom. Those last few weeks, she wanted nothing to do with me.

"Okay," she smiles at me and disappears into the bathroom.

I reach out to grab my phone to check the time so we're not late for our reservation and accidentally knock it onto the floor. When I reach down to pick it up my eye catches the small velvet box housing Nessie's engagement ring. I quickly grab it. It must have fallen out of my pocket when I discarded my jeans earlier. I open the box, looking at the diamond ring. It sucks that I can't finally do this here. I promised Quil I wouldn't. He's right, I guess. I don't want to cast a shadow on Claire's moment. Still sucks, though.

Nessie has been beyond patient with me. After that day at the chalet, years ago, when she thought I was going to propose, she never brought it up again. We briefly discussed getting married before she got pregnant with Sarah but then life got busy again. That doesn't mean that it hasn't crossed her mind. I've seen her thumbing through pictures of wedding dresses on her phone. I've found some scraps of papers around the house with the names and numbers of local flower and catering businesses.

It's not that I haven't wanted to marry her these past 5 years of sharing a home and raising our kids… Sometimes I forget that we're not married. We're a family... And, again, life gets busy. The days, weeks, months just fly by. I sigh. Sounds like a bunch of excuses.

I hear the shower turn off.

"How was your shower?" I ask, snapping the velvet box shut and stuff it back into my denim pocket before she can see it.

"Friggid. But my nails look good," Nessie says coming back into the room in the white robe and a plastic shower cap on.

I chuckle, "what's on your head, love?"

"What?" she smiles, pulling it off, letting her dry copper curls roll down her back, "do you want to have dinner before midnight or should we spend all evening drying my hair?"

"Dinner before midnight sounds good," I agree with a smile.

I admire her beauty, watching as she combs her fingers through her curley copper locks. I feel like a damn idiot, waiting this long to put a ring on her pretty little hand. I think about what it will be like to watch her walk down an isle, towards me, in a white gown. To call her my wife in conversations. To see mail arrive at the house under the name Renesmee Black.

"What?" Nessie smiles, catching me staring at her.

I reach out for her hand, "come here."

Nessie grins, taking my hand, allowing me to pull her back onto the bed. I nuzzle my face against her neck and press some hot kisses under her ear. Nessie swoons and then expels a breathy moan as I slip a hand into her robe to cup her soft breast.

"No, no, no, no," she chuckles pulling my hand out of her robe, "you need to shower and get dressed or we'll miss our reservation."

"It won't take that long," I smirk against her skin, nipping at her neck.

"I _just_ showered," she mumbles.

"Shower again," I whisper.

"We have no condoms left," Nessie reminds me but allows me to continue sucking at her neck.

"Mmm," I run my hand up and down her back, "I'll pull out," I offer.

"Oh, yeah right," Nessie giggles, "that's exactly what you said last time and then 9 months later we had Sarah.

I chuckle, pulling away from her neck and kiss her lips softly, "so then let's make a baby."

Nessie face drops, "welp, that just turned me off," she laughs, rolling off the bed, "go shower."

"Finnnnne," I sigh, gathering my clothing, not even bothering to put on the robe before heading into the bathroom. I toss my stuff on the sink and look in the mirror seeing the beginnings of dark patches forming on my neck where Nessie had sucked and nibbled a little too hard on my neck. She sometimes does this when it's been a while since her last hunt. We'll have to get her some elk or whatever is around these parts. I step into the shower. The water in the bottom of the tub is freezing so I turn on the shower, making it as hot as possible and quickly soap up. I'll admit that I am eager to get dinner over with as soon as possible so I can get Ness back here again.

"Babe?" Nessie calls from outside the shower.

"Yeah?" I ask rinsing off.

"I'm going to leave our credit card at the front desk so we can order room service for breakfast tomorrow before going back to the chalet. Meet you downstairs?" Nessie asks.

"Good idea. Sure," I reply. I hear the door shut as Nessie leaves the room. Once I am all rinsed off I get out of the shower and dry off as quickly as I can, get dressed and then head out to the elevators. I press the down button and wait patiently but the elevator seems to take forever and once it arrives it is full of patrons with no room for a 6'7" man so I decide to take the stairs.

When I finally exit into the lobby I glance around for Nessie. She's not at the front desk. Then I spot her chatting with someone. Someone I recognise... Some guy… Who the hell is- oh… oh no. Not this guy.

Nessie turns and meets my gaze. She smiles and waves for me to come over.

I sigh and head over to Nessie and glare at the man, "Rick," I greet him, offering my hand.

Rick chuckles, "I know better than to accept a handshake from you," he says, keeping his hands in his pockets. True. last time I crushed his hand pretty good. "How've you been?"

"Good," I reply, letting my hand drop to my side. I don't want the conversation to continue. I hate this guy, "shell we go?" I ask Nessie.

"Jake, be nice," Nessie scolds me, "what brings you to Whistler?" Nessie asks Rick.

"The wife," he replies, "her family vacations around here every year."

"Wife, huh? Congratulations," I offer. At least I don't have to worry about him getting any idea about Nessie.

"It's uh… Nice to see that you two are going strong," he offers in return and then looks past me, "there's the wife, now," Rick says.

A petite brunette in a sleek ponytail joins us, "hi," she smiles and then looks to Rick, "friends of yours?" she asks. She looks like the wife of a doctor. I'm not surprised.

"Kinda," Rick replies.

"It's nice to meet you," Nessie says pleasantly, shaking the woman's hand, "I'm Nessie, this is Jacob."

"Nessie? Like the monster? How interesting," she smiles, "I'm Maxine, but Max is fine."

"We better get going," I say to Nessie, "the pub might give up our table if we're late."

"Oh. Are you dining across the way at the pub too?" Max asks, "you should join us!"

"We don't want to intrude," I reply quickly, attempting to shut this down right here and now.

Rick glances up at me with a glimmer of amusement, "nonsense. It'll be fun to catch up," he grins.

I _hate_ this guy.

* * *

When we arrive at the pub I am hopeful that they won't have a table available for us but they manage to slide two of the single tables together. So I am stuck sitting across from Rick — the guy who stole Nessie's virginity — and his trophy wife. They are chatting about what Rick has been up to. Something about opening a medical practice in Los Angeles. I'm not really paying attention until I hear my name.

"Hm?" I look up from my beer.

"The mechanic business? Are you still in that?" Rick asks, sipping some kind of red wine.

"Yep," I reply. I don't give him any more.

"Jacob," Nessie mumbles, glancing at me. I know that look. She's scolding me for not engaging in the conversation.

I sigh, "Yeah, um, I repair and resell motorcycles," I explain. "My father acquires the bikes, I fix them up and we sell them."

"Oh," Max smiles, "is that a lucrative business?" she asks and smiles at the waitress as her martini is set down for her.

"Yeah. It's a living," I reply.

"He's being modest," Nessie replies, "he's built it into something amazing. I'm really proud of him."

I smile at Nessie. Hearing her say that fills me with warmth. Especially because she is saying it in front of Rick who no doubt thinks of me as some lowlife grease monkey.

"And what have you been up to, Renesmee?" Rick changes the subject, He looks to Max, "Renesmee is a brilliant musician. She can pretty much play any instrument she picks up. I always imagined her joining the New York Symphony. Am I close?" he asks.

Nessie chuckles, "not quite. We have two young children so that keeps me busy. They're 5 and almost 2"

"Oh. Carlisle didn't mention you got married," Rick replies, looking down at Nessie's hand and then back at me.

"Oh, you're still in touch with Carlisle?" Nessie quickly diverts the subject.

Rick smirks a little and turns back to Nessie, "we email one another here and there. So you're oldest is 5? Wow. You must have sailed through your program then."

"What?" I'm confused.

"Oh… I didn't go," Nessie says quietly. Her cheeks turn a slight pink.

"What?" I ask again, "what program?"

Nessie bites her lip and looks to me, "It's nothing. I had gotten accepted into Washington University's School of Music. But it was a full-time program and I didn't want to move away from you so I postponed my enrollment for a year but then I got pregnant with AJ by the time the next fall semester was supposed to begin and the whole thing just didn't fit into our lives."

"Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?" I ask. I can't believe that Nessie kept this from me. I'd never stand in the way of her ambitions. We would have made it work… hold on… Was Nessie planning to move away with Rick to Seattle before we got together?

"I don't know," Nessie shrugs, "I didn't think it mattered."

I can see a glint of pleasure in Rick's eyes at this interaction. He just loves that he knew something about Nessie that I didn't. I fucking hate this guy.

"Any kids yet?" Nessie asks Max, trying to change the subject again. We're going to talk about this later.

"God no," Max laughs, "I'm finishing my Masters and then I think we'll need to relocate. L.A. is no place to raise children. Don't get me wrong, I grew up in California and love it but it's changed a lot."

"Oh. So you're from California?" Nessie asks, "how'd you two meet?" Nessie asks.

"We don't need to get into that," Rick clears his throat. He suddenly appears uncomfortable.

This guy has been screwing with me since we sat down. Okay, jerk… now's my chance.

"Oh come on now, Rick. Don't be shy," I grin and sip my beer.

"It's a long story," he mumbles.

Max laughs, "no it isn't," she rolls her eyes. "We met in 2016. Here in this pub, actually!" she says. "I was staying at the lodge with my family who were giving me a hard time about breaking up with my lawyer ex-boyfriend. I was moping at the bar and then in walked Rick with his luggage and a frown. He looked awful so I offered to buy him a drink and he shares with me that his fiance broke up with him to be with her best friend."

"Fiance?" Nessie makes a face.

"Well, soon-to-be fiance," Max corrects herself, "he never got a chance to propose before she ran off with the other man... What did you say, honey?" Max looks at Rick, "he was this scary guy who tried to throw you off a building or something?"

"Something like that," Rick mumbles.

A building? It was the second-floor balcony. Hardly a 12-foot drop. What a wimp. I glance at Rick. He looks gutted. I cross my arms and lean back in my chair, "huh. Is that right?"

Rick clears his throat, "in retrospect the engagement would have been hasty," he replies, looking down at his wine, "it'd probably be fair to assume my motivation for proposing to her so soon would have been to protect our relationship from outside forces."

I glance over to Nessie who looks incredibly uncomfortable, "um… but hey! It all worked out. You met this beautiful woman," Nessie smiles at Max.

Max chuckles, "oh my god. I am _so_ rude just going on and on about me. How'd you two meet?"

"Ha. Now _that_ is a long story," Nessie smiles from behind her wine.

I notice Max's eyes light up, wanting details. I need to shut this down. This is so awkward. Nessie is being so sweet and polite but I can feel the vibrations of her foot tapping nervously.

I clear my throat, "uh... In short, I tried to date her sister but she was having none of it," I reply, recasting Bella as Nessie's sister. "Then I saw Ness and it was love at first sight and I knew from that second on that I would either spend my whole life loving her or my whole life pining for her."

Nessie smiles at me, her foot stops tapping.

"That's adorable," Max grins, "how long have you two been married?" she sips her martini.

"Oh… um… we're not married, exactly," Nessie replies pleasantly.

"Oh?" Max looks between us curiously before her eyes settle on Nessie, "oh, honey, don't you worry. It'll happen," she says in a tone dripping with so much condescension that it makes my jaw snap shut.

With that I see Nessie's face change for a moment. Not long. But for a moment the pleasant facade drops and gives way to a somehow familiar downcast expression. One that I recognize but can't quite place.

Nessie's smile quickly returns but it doesn't reach her eyes, "I think I'll use the ladies room. If the waitress comes by can you order the hot wings and fries for me?"

"Sure," I reply but she is already halfway across the restaurant and into the women's room by the time I get the word out.

"Two kids. Wow. That was _fast_. What's the hold up on marriage?" Rick asks, smugly, "cold feet?"

"Maybe that's none of your business," I snap at him now that Nessie is no longer around to keep the peace.

Max puts her hand over her mouth, "oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to pry into a touchy subject."

I glance at her, "it's fine. Don't worry about it," I rake my fingers through my hair, "look, I don't mean to be rude or anything but this is kind of a date and we don't get many of these so if you don't mind..."

I'm not interested in continuing this double date. Especially not with Nessie's ex and his clueless wife who still hasn't pieced together that Nessie is the ex from his past to who he almost proposed to.

"We're intruding. I'm so sorry," Max says standing, "we'll just pay for our drinks and go."

"You know what, drinks are on me," I reply, standing as Maxine stands. I want these two gone before Nessie comes back. I extend a hand to Rick's wife.

Max nods, understanding my urgency to have them gone, "it was so nice to meet you and your lovely wi-... uh.. Girlfri- uh partner," she says searching for the proper title, nervous of offending me further.

I shake her dainty hand gently and then extend my hand to Rick. Rick stands, looking at my extended hand with dread. Max frowns at his hesitation to shake my hand and jabs him with her elbow. With a heavy sigh, Rick accepts my hand. I grip his palm tightly, delivering a crushing handshake. He winces and pulls his hand back quickly. I hope this is the last time I ever see him.

As the couple leaves the pub I wave over the waitress and let her know that we don't need the extra table anymore. I push the tables apart before giving her mine and Nessie's order.

The engagement ring in my pocket feels like it is burning into my thigh. First, my plans get thrown out at the request of Quil so he can propose to Claire without competition and then these two show up... This night was _supposed_ to be a break from the chaos of our lives but now it feels heavy. The air somehow feels thick.

I watch the door of the ladies' room swing open and shut a few times as women come and go. Finally, Nessie walks through the door. She stops short of the table, looking at me curiously.

"Where are Rick and Max?" Nessie asks, stepping forwards and sits down across from me.

"They had to go," I reply in a direct tone.

"Oh no… what'd you do?" she asks, drinking down the rest of her wine and then waves at the waitress, pointing to her glass for a refill.

"Nothing," I reply, Nessie just stares at me, "what?" I ask. She doesn't believe me. "Fine…" I sigh, "I just explained that this is kind of a date and I wanted you to myself," I reply.

"Oh… okay," she replies. The waitress delivers her second glass of wine and Nessie takes a couple of deep sips.

"Easy, Ness," I mumble, watching her pound the wine.

She glances up at me from behind her glass but takes two more gulps, "what?" her voice is curt.

What's that tone?

"So… why didn't you ever tell me that you were accepted into a music program?" I ask.

"Because it wasn't important. It was just something I thought about doing," she replies. "It wasn't worth disrupting our lives," she exhales a long sigh.

"You can still do it, you know?" I offer.

Nessie laughs harshly, "sure, I'll squeeze it in between getting AJ ready for the school bus and folding the bottomless pit of laundry in the basement," she mutters sarcastically.

"Is everything okay, baby?" I ask.

"Fine," she replies. However, she says it in a way in which I know that it _isn't_ fine.

"Ness, if you have something to say you need to say it," I exhale.

"I don't," she says.

"Nessie, talk to me," I beg.

"Just drop it, please," she says as the waitress sets down our food in front of us. Nessie starts rearranging her fries but doesn't eat them. I now notice that she has chipped away at her manicure she had just had done today with the girls.

"Look if this is because of what Rick's wife said… I _am_ going to propose. Really soon," I say quickly, feeling as though I need to put out a fire. A fire that has evidently been burning for a while now.

"Cool," she replies dryly.

" _Cool?"_ I raise my brows, "what's that supposed to mean?"

This is going downhill fast.

Nessie sighs, "just that our definitions of ' _soon'_ differ significantly. Can we stop talking about this now?"

I swallow. Great.

"You're upset," I reply.

"No. I'm annoyed that you won't drop this," she says pushing a french fry into her mouth followed by another sip of wine.

"Nessie, what do you want from me? Do you want me to propose now? I'll do it right now," I offer. Screw it. We'll just have to keep it secret from everyone until Claire and Quil are finished with their fucking ' _moment'_.

"Oh, gee, a pity-proposal. Lucky me," Nessie mutters.

"Why are you being like this?" I frown. I'm so confused. She never acts indignant like this... then Rick shows up out of nowhere and now she suddenly has a problem with me, "wait… is this because of Rick? … You found out he was going to propose to you and now you're ... this? Are you wishing you would have stayed with Rick?" I interrogate her.

Nessie laughs, "what? Of course not. Don't be ridiculous, Jacob. I _chose_ you, remember? What does Rick have to do with you not making good on _your promise_ to marry me?" Nessie asks. "Just… do me a favour. Don't waste my time promising me things that you have no intention to follow through on, okay?"

I feel my frustration boil over, "you're acting like I'm stringing you along. We have a life together, Ness. I've given you fucking _everything_. It's all for you. _All of it._ Everything I do is for you," I slam my hand down against the table harder than I had intended to. The plates and glasses clank. A few heads turn but fortunately not for long because some kind of sports game is on. I sigh and lean forward, lowering my voice, "but none of that matters to you because I haven't popped the question yet? And for what? So we can have a stupid party with cake and a white dress?"

Nessie opens her mouth but then closes it again and just looks down at her chipped manicure.

"Ness," I sigh, "I-"

"Please stop," she says before I can explain how I had planned to propose to her at midnight tomorrow until it got detailed by Quil, "You're right. It's stupid and I don't want to talk about this anymore... or ever…"

Ever? What does that mean? Does that mean she'd say no?

I look down at the food she's hardly touched, "aren't you hungry?" I ask, finally dropping the discussion on marriage at her request.

"I am… just not for this… I think I need to go hunting," she replies.

"Um.. okay. I'll get the bill and-"

"Alone," Nessie stands.

"Ness…" I frown, "come on..."

"I love you," she whispers, gathering her purse and coat. She kisses me on the cheek and then walks out the door.

Fuck.


	15. Chapter 15

**Nessie**

' _Oh, honey, don't worry. It'll happen.'_

What a bitch.

It's freezing in the mountains where I am hunting down a cougar. Fortunately for me, when I am on the prowl something just happens to me where my heart pounds heavier and my blood runs hot so I cannot feel the chill in the air. I know it's close. I stop near a tree and lean against it to rest for a while.

I'd be dishonest if I said that it was Maxine, alone, that sent me spiralling over the edge. Quil's text, this morning, requesting my assistance for Claire's surprise engagement delivered a hot pang of jealousy. I look down at my manicure that I had nervously destroyed at the pub. It shouldn't have bothered me so much… or at all. I should have been happy for her, full-stop. For them… But I couldn't help but wonder… why not me? Does that make me a bad friend?

And what about Jacob? He's right, isn't he? He has given me everything. Maybe I _should_ just be happy being his life-long girlfriend… I just… I can't help but wonder what makes all of the other imprints worthy of that proposal while I am not? I thought I was over this feeling of inadequacy. I know Jacob loves me. I can feel it… yet, here I am again. Years later, questioning why the other wolves seem to move heaven and earth for their imprints… They practically run to the alter while I don't seem to inspire any urgency whatsoever. Well… that's not altogether true. Rick wanted to marry me as it turns out… that would have been a disaster.

It doesn't help that every time I see my family I am bombarded with questions about _when_ we're tying the knot. It seems like every summer I am donning an ugly pastel dress while I stand next to one of our friends as they declare their love. After Quil proposes tomorrow, I will literally be the only one left. At Embry and Bijou's wedding, Bijou didn't even toss her bouquet. She just handed it to me. Everyone laughed. They thought it was so funny. I did my best to mask my pain. I think I was convincing. It just fucking hurts.

My father's words ring in my mind. When he intruded on my thoughts and discovered that Jacob and I were trying to get pregnant. He said, ' _don't do wife-level shit for your boyfriend. Get married'_ … I called him archaic. Said that I was not a dairy truck, simply giving away the ' _milk'_ for free… What a fool I turned out to be. I guess he was right on some level. Had I wanted marriage prior to kids, I probably wouldn't be the last one without a ring on my finger… not that I need one. I told Jacob before that I didn't care about a ring.

_Snap_

My attention is drawn away from my thoughts as a twig breaks and the cougar comes into view. I carefully prepare myself to attack when my phone buzzes loudly in my coat pocket.

Fuck!

The creature quickly turns in my direction and then runs off the other way.

I growl. Jacob knows better than to call me when I am hunting. I pull the device out of my pocket expecting to deliver an angry monologue. The screen lights up _Leah Clearwater Littlesea …_ what a name.

"Yeah?" I answer. I wonder if Jacob called his beta to rat me out about being difficult.

"Okay. Everything is fine so don't freak out," Leah says with tension in her voice.

"That's _not_ what a mother wants to hear from the person taking care of her children. What happened?" I ask. I look at the time. It's nearly midnight.

"We let the kids all stay up so they can try and be awake tomorrow for the new year," Leah explains, "well, they wanted to play outside but it's obviously too dark so we let them play on the balcony-"

"Can you cut to the part where I'm not supposed to be freaking out?" I ask.

"AJ slipped on some ice and split his lip," Leah replies, "and might have chipped a tiny bit of tooth."

"Is he okay?" I ask.

"He seems to be okay but his lip won't stop bleeding so we're taking him to the ER to see if he needs stitches," Leah sighs. "Ness, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault, I should have been watching him more carefully. I promise to pay for the dental bills and the-"

"Relax, Leah. It was an accident. All of his teeth are still baby teeth, it'll fall out anyways. And he's a kid. Kids take tumbles and get hurt. I'm on my way, okay?"

"I'm so sorry to have disrupted your evening," Leah replies, regretfully.

"I'll see you soon," I hang up and exhale. So much for cougars.

* * *

I make my way out of the mountains and reach a row of cabins near a road where I can call a taxi. When I arrive at the ER Leah and Roger are sitting with AJ holding a cloth to his mouth with a bag of ice.

Despite the bloody rag on his mouth AJ appears to be in good spirit. Perhaps enjoying all the attention he's getting.

"Alright, champ, let's see that lip," I crouch down and gingerly pull back the cloth. I can see the deep split for a few seconds before blood gushes out and obstructs my view. "Yeah… that's probably a stitch or two," I put the cloth back to his lip and look up to Leah who looks absolutely distraught, "it's okay!" I laugh.

"Thank you," Leah sighs, "if it were Sophia or Harry I'd probably be an insufferable bitch towards you," she admits and then looks around, "where's Jake?"

"It's just me," I reply.

Leah frowns, "um, Roger, we're pretty far at the back of the line here… Do you want to take AJ to a vending machine?"

"For what?" Roger frowns, "his lip is split, what's he going to eat?"

Leah glares, "get him some candy to suck on," she says.

Roger looks between me and Leah and then quickly gets up with AJ when he realizes that Leah wants to talk to me alone.

I sigh. Great… I sit down next to Leah and glance around the busy ER.

"What's going on with you and Jake?" Leah asks, "you don't seem to be getting along on this trip."

"I don't really want to talk abou-," I stop myself when I realize that the moment she goes to run drills with the pack that all of our business is going to be pack business… "Fine. It's my fault, okay. Claire and Quil's engagement plans kind of got to me. It shouldn't have but it did. And then we ran into my ex, Rick, and his wife and … it's just a long story and I got a little bit irritable with Jacob for dragging his feet on our engagement and he said some things that just made me feel like a brat for wanting him to propose. He's right. He's given me absolutely everything. I should just be grateful."

Leah scowls, "ew. He said that to you?"

"What?"

"That you should just be grateful for what he's given you?" Leah asks.

"Not in so many words but something like that," I sigh.

"Why? Because he's made a career out of passion projects and built a house that _he_ wanted too?" Leah cocks her brow, "Nessie, you've given him two beautiful children. He should be _begging_ you to wear that dumb ring he got you."

"What?" I'm confused. What ring?

Leah's eyes widen, "what?"

"What ring?" I ask.

"I didn't say anything about a ring," she says twisting her fingers in her lap.

"Maybe I'll just call Jacob and ask him to explain, then," I pull my phone from my pocket.

"No! No, no, no!" Leah panics, "augh… okay. Jacob is going to fucking _kill_ me. He's going to propose tomorrow. At midnight. That's been the plan for like the past few weeks," she sighs.

"What?" I feel my heart sink. I've been insufferable all night and he was planning this whole big proposal at the chalet on New Year's Eve? Tomorrow?

"Don't say anything! Okay?" she begs. "This is why the girls wanted you two to have the night at the lodge together. You both seemed so tense."

"Does everyone know?" I ask. I'm shocked.

"Uh… Embry and Bijou, Seth and Winnie, myself and Roger… Billy and Rachel, I'm sure they know… Quil and Claire were on vacation when he hatched the plan which is probably why Quil doesn't think he's stepping on anyone's toes by proposing to Claire tomorrow morning. Please don't tell Jacob that I told you, okay? Just let him think he's surprising you tomorrow… I'll deal with his rath afterwards. Okay?"

"I feel awful, I gave him such a hard time about it too," I put my hands to my face.

"Don't feel too bad. He made you wait this long. It's partially his fault," Leah smiles.

"Arthur-Jacob Black!" a nurse calls out into the waiting room.

* * *

We had to wait in a separate room for about an hour until AJ could see a doctor.

Fortunately for us, AJ's lip didn't need stitches. Once the bleeding was under control a liquid skin adhesive was applied that should last about 5 or 6 days. Long enough for the wound to close up and mostly heal. We're just waiting to see if it holds for the next 15 minutes. If AJ bleeds through the adhesive, he'll need to get stitches. So far it seems to be working.

Roger has gone to wait in the car so that he can pull it around once we give him the call. AJ is playing with Leah's phone so I take this opportunity to go out to the hallway and call Jacob so he knows what's going on.

"Nessie!" I expect to be met with a tired and groggy voice but instead, he sounds eager and alert.

"Hey," I reply, I pull the phone from my ear and check the time. It's been almost two hours since I set out on the hunt which got interrupted. I can see that I missed a call from him 20 minutes ago. Likely when I was trying to distract AJ so the doctor could inject some local numbing so she could properly apply the adhesive without the 5-year-old flinching.

"Where are you?" he asks.

"I'm at the ER with AJ-" I am about to explain everything but Jacob interrupts.

"What!? Wh, wh, wh, wait, why, wh, wh, wh, what happened?" he stutters over his words, obviously not expecting that answer.

"Everything's fine. Leah called. The kids were playing on the balcony and he fell on some ice and split his lip. We're getting ready to leave," I explain.

"Okay. Do you want me to come there or meet you at the chalet?" he asks.

"Leah is insisting that I go back to the lodge. We might have a few sleepless nights ahead of us while his lip gets better," I explain.

"Poor thing," Jacob sighs.

"He'll be fine," I assure him.

"Nessie, I need to talk to you. When are you getting back?" he sighs.

"We're getting ready to go soon," I reply just as Leah comes out of the room holding AJ's hand and gives me a thumbs-up, "oh, it actually looks like we're good to go now. You should get some sleep. I'll be there soon," I reply.

"Okay, I'll see you soon," Jacob exhales.

The hospital is not far from the lodge. By the time Leah drops me off, AJ is already asleep. I give him a kiss on the cheek and say goodnight to Leah and Roger before heading inside. I walk through the lobby and past the lounge; despite it being around 1:00 AM there are lots of couples up late having drinks. I imagine that tomorrow the place will be jumping with New Year's excitement.

I go up the elevator and step quietly down the hall. I am careful not to make too much noise as I slide the keycard into the hotel room door. I don't want to wake up Jake. However, the second I close the door behind me, two strong arms tightly lock around me, drawing me into a warm embrace. The room is dark,

"I thought you'd be sleeping," I lean into Jacob's embrace, pressing my cheek against his bare chest. He only has his jeans on, his shirt discarded.

"I can't sleep knowing you're upset with me," Jacob whispers, pressing his lips to my hair.

Crap. How do we resolve this without giving away that I know he is planning to propose to me tomorrow?

I look up at him and press my palm to his face, showing him that I love him and I'm not upset with him anymore. I quickly drag my hand back before I reveal too much information.

"Really?" he's stunned.

I nod, "really," I pull away from his arms and slide my coat off and toss it on a nearby chair.

"But you were...," he sighs, "... Ness, I need you to know that-"

"Let's not discuss this anymore," I reply, quickly. I'm afraid that he's going to reveal his proposal plans to me. I don't want to ruin it for him.

"But I don't want you to think tha-" he starts again so I silence him by pressing my lips against his mouth, kissing him fervidly. Jacob is taken off guard by my sudden attack. So much so that he is frozen for a few seconds before his lips respond and his hands grip at my back.

For a moment I think that I have successfully distracted him from whatever he was planning to say until his lips migrate to my neck and he begins to speak again, "Ness… I swear I am going to pro-"

"Shhhh, stop talking," I interrupt him, "kiss me," I press my lips against his once more, kissing him more passionately this time.

He kisses me in return, his hands tangling in my hair. However, he then forces his lips away from mine, "Nessie, I had a plan but then Qu-"

_Oh my god. Shut up!_

"Dominate me," I demand, breathlessly, interrupting him again. I run my fingertips along his biceps.

"What?" Jacob swallows, his eyes locked on mine. Good, I got his attention. "You want me to _dominate_ you?" he asks me.

I nod slowly, watching as his eyes darken and the animal emerges.

"Why?" his voice is low, somewhat of a growl. He seems suspicious of my intentions but wastes no time going along with it. Jacob backs me up against the door, trapping me within the circle of his arms as he grips the door frame on either side of me.

I look up at him timidly, playing the prey to his predator. I swallow, "because it's what I desire," I whisper and exhale when he leans in closer to me. I can feel the heat radiating from his bare torso.

_And because you won't shut up._

The door frame creaks in his hand, my head turns toward the noise but he is quick to draw me back, taking my chin in his hand and forcing my face to look at him. I exhale a shaky breath, unprepared for how even that small display of dominance would arouse me. His hand traces along my jaw before his fingertips rest against my neck. I'm sure he can feel my heart banging with the pulse of my neck. His eyes maintain contact with mine, completely intrigued and then… he exhales.

"Fuck," he grumbles, his hand drops to his side from my neck, "I never did get those goddamn condoms," he admits.

"Oh…" I bite my lip, "um… it's okay, it'll probably be fine," I shrug.

He raises his brow, "what?"

"My cycle starts in like 4 days. I'm sure ovulation has come and gone. We're most likely in the clear," I lean my head back against the door, pulling the zipper down on my hoodie.

"Are you sure?" he asks, grabbing my hand away from the zipper and replacing it with his own, dragging it down until the sweatshirt disconnects and opens for him, "I don't know…" he sucks his lip into his mouth as his eyes gaze down lustfully at my breasts.

"Pull out?" I offer.

He tilts his head to the side, his eyes still fixed on my breasts. He doesn't say another word on the matter of protection. His large palm presses against my bra, kneading my breast through the pink silk cup. "Take your clothes off and get on the bed," he demands, his hot breath rolling down my neck and over my chest.

I start to push the hooded sweatshirt off my shoulder.

"Over there," he points to the center of the room where moonlight has flooded in, providing a much better view than the entrance on the room, "where I can see you."

"Can I take my boots off here?" I ask timidly, not wanting to track any dampness from outside into the room.

He simply nods but doesn't move so I kneel down, trapped between him and the door as I loosen the laces. I glance up. He's watching me with dark eyes. I stand again, pulling my feet from the boots, leaving my socks inside of the boots as well.

Jacob steps aside and I wander to the center of the room. When I turn to face him, he is leaning against the door, watching me. His expression is stone cold yet lustful. I slide the hoodie off my shoulders and it drops to the floor. Goosebumps form on my arms, partially from the chill of being without a top and partially from the way his eyes are drinking me in. I shimmy out of my black leggings in front of him until I am only wearing my pink bra and black cotton panties. I reach behind me and pull the loops free of my bra's hooks. The straps slide down my arms and I discard the item on the floor with the hoodie and leggings, freeing my breasts. Just as the chill in the air had pricked my skin, my nipples harden as well.

Jacob pulls at the fabric on the fly of his jeans. His erection, undoubtedly, creating some discomfort in the crotch of his denim. I hook my fingers into the waistband on my panties.

"Leave them on. Get on the bed."

I bite my lip and turn my back to him, grinning only when he cannot see me and then return to my submissive facade when I face him again as I get onto the bed and lay down with my knees bent.

Jacob exhales, watching me with intense and sexy eyes as he approaches the bed while unfastening his belt. "Touch yourself," he orders.

I breathe in deeply and slide my hand into my panties only for Jacob to drag my hand back out again.

"Did I say you could touch yourself inside your panties?" he scolds, getting on the bed, sitting on his knees in front of me.

"You weren't specific," I reply.

"Don't talk back," he scolds me again, yanking my knee to the side, allowing himself enough room to lightly slap my rear.

I gasp and grin at him, excitedly.

"Stop it," he says with a soft chuckle, unable to keep a domineering facade when I am grinning at him like that.

"Sorry," I exhale, trying to let the butterflies go. I press my lips together and start to touch myself over the cotton fabric as he had directed. I close my eyes. My panties are already soaked with my arousal in anticipation. Jacob pulls my legs apart. I moan softly.

The mattress indents on my right as he leans on one hand, hovering over me. He slides his rough palm along my side until he reaches my breast, squeezing roughly and then continuing over my chest until his hand rests over my neck. He holds his hand to my throat it in such a way that he could easily choke me if it were not for his beyond gentle grip. I tremble, my fingers stroking over my panties in small circles.

I gasp when he presses his lips against my ear and runs his tongue over my lobe. He settles between my legs, I can feel his erection against my pelvis. I pull my hand free from between us and run both my palms over his muscular back.

His mouth leaves my lobe and I find myself nervously anticipating his next move. I open my eyes to find his dark and wild eyes staring back at me, searching my face.

"You're mine," he whispers, his lips grazing my cheek as he presses his body weight down on me more heavily, "say it," he whispers hotly in my ear while his fingertips stroke my neck.

"I'm yours," I obey.

A soft growl rumbles in his chest. His hand leaves my neck and he grips my hip pulling my body on top of his as he rolls to his back. I quickly grab his forearms to keep my balance as both of his hands land on my hips and aggressively pull my pelvis into his erection.

I inhale sharply. He then pushes my hips down so that I am resting on his legs, below his hips. His belt and the button of his jeans are open. I put my hand to the zipper of his fly and glance up at him, wondering if I'll be scolded for this as well. He gives me a nod and I pull the zipper down and then hook my fingers around the waist of his jeans and boxers. I look up at him once again.

"Go on," he whispers, gruffly.

I pull his jeans and boxers down his hips. His erection springs into view. I can now see how very, very aroused he is by this scenario we are playing with. Note to self. Give up the power now and then.

He leans upon his elbow, reaching out with his free hand to pet my breasts, his thumb repeatedly brushing over my nipple. I wrap my hand around him and begin to stroke but then notice him slowly shaking his head in a disapproving manner. His hand ascends from my breasts and he runs his thumb along my bottom lip. I open my mouth and gently hold his thumb between my teeth while running the very tip of my tongue against it. He watches me obsessively.

I let his thumb go and lower my body to a more comfortable position so that I can pleasure him with my mouth which I do enthusiastically.

"Slower," he demands.

I obey, slowing down my pace. There's just no possible way to fit all of him in my mouth so it's really all about technique; what I do with my tongue or lips; kissing, licking, sucking.

My hair falls in front of my face. Jacob reaches out, gathering my hair into his fist and holding it away from my face in a gentle grip.

"Look at me," he whispers. I look up at him, holding eye contact with him as I pleasure him. He expels a breathy moan, "good girl."

I am filled with electricity; I am absolutely throbbing between my thighs. A small moan of my own vibrates from my lips causing him to suck in a sharp breath. He watches me salaciously, softly panting as I keep my eyes locked on him; kissing, licking, sucking.

Just as I start to wonder if I will be performing this act until completion, Jacob lets go of my hair and sits up, pushing his jeans and boxers completely off.

"On your hands and knees," he orders.

I nod and turn around for him, getting onto my hands and knees. Jacob's warm palms run along my thighs and up and down my back before he pushes down on my shoulders, forcing my chest against the bed while my hips remain elevated. I fold my arms and lean my head down against them. His fingers hook into the lace waistband of my black cotton panties and he aggressively pulls them down over my rear until the fabric rests at my knees.

"I haven't even touched you yet and you're soaked," he mumbles, feeling me with his fingers.

I breathe in and concentrate on relaxing. This position is particularly challenging. Not only because it tilts my pelvis, causing internal compression, it's also a position that gives Jacob complete control to go as deep as he desires.

He slowly pushes into me. I hold my eyes shut as I feel myself stretching with little room to give. While it is desirable for him, which is clear by his moans as he leans into me as deep as he can go, I am working really hard to relax.

We both stay still. I wait for my body to adjust however at this angle it'll remain a tight fit. After about a minute I decide that waiting any longer will not ease the tightness. "Okay," I nod, signalling that he can move.

"You're so fucking sexy, Renesmee," he mumbles pushing into me deeply over and over. His hand loops around my hip stroking me while his other grips at my thigh, "do you like that?"

I whimper, trying my best to concentrate on how good it feels when he touches me but I don't know how long I can tolerate him thrusting into me like this. There's not enough room. It's too much. Finally, I surrender to my limitations. I can no longer stay quiet, "less," I reach back, putting my hand over his hand that is gripping my thigh.

"Oh... Okay," Jacob, adjusts his knees to pull away from me. He begins to move within me again, not going as deep as before, "how's that?"

"Mmhm," I exhale, feeling some relief. I pull my hand back from his and close my eyes. It's still uncomfortable but not as bad.

However, despite him pulling back, one thrust manages to smash into my cervix and I yelp, feeling a jolt shake me, "ah! Fuck, Jacob!" I laugh. It feels kind of like hitting an elbow. You don't know whether to curse or laugh so you do both.

He stops immediately, "what? What happened?"

"Nevermind. It's fine," I bite my lip, "keep going."

"Tell me what you need," he says and pulls out completely.

I exhale, wondering if I am ruining the mood "can I come down?" I ask, "please?"

"Of course," Jacob reaches towards the top of the bed and grabs two pillows, tucking them under my hips, "come down, come down," he says, easing my hips down onto the pillows, "is this good?" he asks, rubbing my lower back.

"Yes," I nod. He pushes into me once again from behind.

"Better?" he asks, staying still inside of me.

"Oh god…" I exhale in relief, feeling him fill me with more ease this time and without the intense pressure, "so much better," I reply, barely getting the words out before he starts thrusting into me again. This time it is all pleasure, "harder," I call out my desire.

Jacob grabs for my hands and drags them above my head, holding me captive between him and the mattress. He fulfills my desire and pounds into me harder as he laces his fingers with mine.

"Do you like that?" he growls in my ear.

"Yes," I whimper, "...feels so good," I manage to get the words out between my heavy panting.

"You're mine," he whispers as he pounds into me from behind, "say it."

"I'm yours, baby. I'm yours," I tell him again and again which seems to be a real turn-on for him as every time I repeat it I can almost feel him become more rigid inside of me. He pushes against that soft pleasurable spot that drives me closer and closer to the edge.

Jacob grunts softly, gripping both my hands tighter, "fuck," he whispers, nuzzling into my hair. He slows, pushing into me, resting and then continuing again before taking another rest. I recognize this pattern. He's attempting to hold back his release.

"Don't hold back," I moan, purposefully tightening around him, "I'm yours," I repeat.

Jacob moans, holding still again, attempting to resist me. I am convinced that he only does this because of the pack of wolf boys who share his headspace, occasionally. I think longevity is somewhat of a competition amongst them. I've told Jake in the past that good sex isn't synonyms with long sex. He doesn't believe me. I've had to snapped at him before to _'wrap it up'_ when he's gone over 20 minutes and I've reached my limit while other times I've had to coax him into finishing despite his insistence that he can keep going... men...

"Pound me, baby. I'm yours," I repeat, breathlessly, "I belong to you. No one else. Just you. Only you," I whimper, urging him to continue.

"Fuck!" he curses and begins to pound into me rapidly again, his staggered breaths becoming closer and closer together. Then he abruptly pulls out...

I'm about to ask why he stopped until I feel my lower back become hot as he grunts softly. I then remember that, in the absence of a condom, I had given him permission to pull out; a risky form of contraception but with my period due in about four days, it is unlikely to result in pregnancy. Fingers crossed.

After a moment, I lean up on my arms.

"Wait," Jacob says quickly, "don't move."

"Okay," I reply and stay still feeling the mattress shift as Jacob gets up from the bed. I see him go to the adjoined bathroom and come back with tissues. He returns to the bed and sweeps the tissues over my back, cleaning me off.

"Alright. You can move now," he says discarding the tissues into the waste bin near the bed.

When I turn over I am met with his hungry lips, kissing me passionately.

I giggle, reaching for the blankets blindly to cover up with as I return the kisses.

"This hotel room _did not_ go to waste," Jacob mumbles as soon as our lips part. He helps me pull the blankets around us as we both lay on our sides, facing one another.

"No. It did not," I agree.

"Do you need some love?" he asks, resting a hand on my hip; Jacob's polite way of asking me if I want him to get me off.

I smile, shyly, and give him a little nod.

"Yeah?" he smiles back, "what can I do for you?" he asks, sliding his hand up my side and pushes on my shoulder down so I am laying on my back. He starts to tenderly kiss along my jaw.

I exhale a satisfied breath, "mmm... touch me," I reply.

"Yes, ma'am," Jacob's hand disappears under the blankets.

"Don't call me ma'am," I reply.

He chuckles and slides his hand down my torso, "touch you like this?" he asks brushing his thumb against me, repetitively.

I press my lips together and shake my head, "no," I whisper.

"Ah, so..." he pushes two fingers inside of me, curling them against that tender spot, "like this?"

"Yes," I inhale a shaky breath. I look at him, his eyes are studying my face intensely. I exhale softly, "that feels good," I whisper.

"Good," he mumbles and kisses my shoulder. His fingers are working within me softly. It's almost torture.

"More," I beg him.

"Faster or harder?" he asks, unsure of what _more_ means.

"Harder," I clarify and then bite my lip when his fingers push into me with that added desired pressure. I tilt my head back, closing my eyes but I can feel his gaze burning into me. I open my eyes and observe him studying my face, "what?" I ask.

"Hm?"

"You're staring," I whisper and then moan again when he adds a little more pressure.

He grins, "I want to watch you come... I'm usually down there," he says nodding his head towards the foot of the bed where he had pleasured me orally earlier in the evening.

"I see," I smile and close my eyes again.

"Please don't close your eyes," he whispers, "look at me."

"Okay," I swallow. I open my eyes. His gaze is intense. He's leaning over me, supported by his left arm.

"You're so beautiful," he says, softly.

I look into his eyes. My breaths become closer together. I'm panting. Watching him watch me lights a fire in me. I don't know what it is but the whole experience just feels so erotic. The build starts, "faster," I gasp, resisting the urge to close my eyes. I keep them open.

Jacob moves his fingers more rapidly at my request, "like this?" he asks, his voice gruff and low.

"Yes," I moan, "just like that," I grip the blankets tightly, tipping closer and closer to the edge. "I'm so close," I confess.

"Come for me, love," he demands, going even faster.

"Jacob," my voice quivers.

"That's it," he murmers as his fingers rapidly take me over the edge.

My whole body is electrified. I am consumed with ecstasy under the intense gaze of my lover as he drinks in the sight of me trembling beneath him. His eyes stay locked on mine through wave upon wave of pleasure until he suddenly leans in and captures my lips in a lustful kiss. I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him back. Soon the kiss slows and becomes tender. Jacob retreats his fingers.

Jacob pulls away from my lips, "look at you," he grins, "swollen lips, pink cheeks. You have this glow after sex," he says, flattering me. "Did you know that?"

"Ever the charmer," I reply to his compliments and run my fingertips along his strong arms. Now that we have settled and are just laying together in comfort and bliss, my stomach begins to ache.

"Everything okay?" Jacob asks running his thumb along the crease between my brows.

"I'm starving," I admit.

"Oh? Did your hunt not satisfy?" he asks.

"Leah called about AJ before I could finish hunting," I sigh, "did you pack up our food from the pub?"

"Yeah. But it's gone now," he admits.

"You ate it _all_?" I chuckle.

"Waste not," he replies with a smirk, "let's order some room service for you. Tomorrow we'll go hunting," he reaches over the bedside table and hands me the room service menu.

I grin at him, feeling content in this moment having successfully distracted him from the need to reveal his plans to propose to me tomorrow. A tingle of excitement burns in my stomach as all of my insecurities melt away, knowing that Jacob is less than 24hrs away from finally proposing. I have wanted to call him my husband for so long and it is finally all happening. I can't wait.


End file.
